Sins of the Father
by CathGilLove
Summary: When a fouryearold boy is found in a home that contains a dead and mutilated body, the SVU are called in. The investigation takes them into a sordid and gruesome past, including the case of a missing model, child abuse and a reallife 'Sleeping Beauty'. 6.
1. Default Chapter

Title: Sins of the Father

Author: ANNE (the insane one)

Rating: R

Category: E/O

Summary: When a four-year-old boy is found in a home that contains a dead and mutilated body, the SVU are called in. The investigation takes them into a sordid and gruesome past, including the case of a missing model, child abuse and a real-life 'Sleeping Beauty'. Kathy and Elliot have been divorced for a year.

Disclaimer: Characters et al belong to the people that make SVU. Joshua and Eddie Emerson and Andrea Masters belong to me.

Thanks to Kris for betaaing.

1?

"In here," the beat officer said, leading Detectives Benson and Stabler into a bedroom.

Lying spread-eagled on the bed was a white male, roughly forty. His body was mutilated and the word "Pervert" was written across his chest…in what the detective's assumed to be blood.

"We passed a kid's bedroom," Elliot stated. "Where's the kid?"

The officer beckoned them to follow him and he pointed to a cupboard under a bench that was slightly edged open.

"You left him in a cupboard?" Olivia asked incredulously.

"He wouldn't come out," the officer tried to explain, as Olivia bent down.

She opened the cupboard and, from the dark, two big brown eyes stared out at her.

"Hi, there. My name's Olivia. What's yours?"

The boy stared silently at her.

"Joshua Emerson," the officer said.

Olivia turned back to the boy. "Hi, Josh. You like being called Josh?"

The boy nodded.

"Okay, Josh, you want to come out here?"

Josh violently shook his head and curled up closer in the dark.

"Okay, that's okay." She sat down fully on the floor next to the cupboard. "The bad person isn't here anymore, sweetheart." Olivia looked around at all the people in the room and realized they must be frightening him. "How about I ask all these people to go, and it can be just you and me? Would you like that?"

Josh hesitated for a moment. Finally, he slowly nodded his head.

"Okay." Olivia turned to Elliot. "Let's get everyone out of here. And can we dim the lights a little? I don't know how long he's been in there and the lights might hurt his eyes or scare him."

"No problem," Elliot said, and started barking order to clear everyone out.

Olivia turned to Josh when everyone had left and the lights had dimmed. She smiled at him. "Okay buddy, how about it? It's just you and me?"

For a few moments there was no movement. Olivia just sat there, willing to give the scared little boy all the time he needed.

Finally, there came the telltale clatter of some pots and pans. Joshua crawled out and into Olivia's lap; a stuffed dog with a ribbon for a collar trailed behind him.

Josh curled up in Olivia's lap, resting his head on her chest. When he was comfortable, he let out a contented sigh.

"Well, hi there," Olivia said, her hand gently stroking the mop of brown hair. "It's nice to finally see you." She patted the toy dog's head. "And what's this guy's name?" When no answer came, she inspected the dog and found a tag. "Ruggles. Well hi, Ruggles." Her attention turned back to Josh. "Want to tell me how old you are?"

Four fingers appeared and were then tucked back underneath him.

"Four, okay." She thought for a moment. "Josh, will you come with me somewhere warm where we can get something to eat?"

There was a barely perceptible nod.

"Okay. Let's go sweetheart." Resting the little boy's head on her shoulder, she stood up, careful to ensure that neither Ruggles nor Josh slipped from her grasp.

"Hey," Elliot said, appearing in the doorway.

Upon hearing a male's voice, Joshua's head buried further into Olivia's shoulder and his arms unconsciously tightened around her neck.

"It's okay, Josh," Olivia reassured him. "This is my friend, Elliot. He won't hurt you."

Josh's eyes peeked out over her shoulder. He made eye contact with Elliot for barely a second, then snuggled closer to Olivia.

* * *

SVU SQUAD ROOM

Olivia glanced into the playroom, watching Josh draw with some crayons. "What have we got?"

"Vic's name is Eddie Emerson. Joshua is his four-year old son," Fin explained. "And you'll never guess what Eddie was accused of."

"Molesting Josh," Olivia said, her voice laced with disgust.

"But wait, there's more," Munch chimed in.

"How could there possibly be more?" Elliot wondered.

"You remember that model Andrea Masters who went missing two years ago?"

Olivia nodded. "Yeah. People assumed she'd suffered post-natal depression and just took off. Her friend said Andrea adored the kid and would never have left."

Fin held up a news clipping with a picture of the model and her baby. Then he pointed to Josh. "Meet the kid."

* * *

Olivia sat next to Josh. "Hey. Remember me?"

Josh nodded and fingered her badge.

Olivia smiled and pointed to the name. "That's right. Olivia."

Josh snatched his hand away. Olivia realized he must have thought he'd done something wrong. She unclipped it and placed it in the palm of his hand, wrapping his little fingers over it.

"Want to hold onto it for me?"

He opened his hand, staring at the badge. He closed his fingers over it again. Josh looked back up at her and nodded.

She smiled at him and looked up as Elliot came in with a Happy Meal.

"Staple of kids worldwide," he grinned.

When Josh realized a man was in the room, he dove for cover in Olivia's arms. Her eyes widened when she noticed he was trembling and his heart was beating wildly.

"Josh. Josh," she soothed, looking into his eyes. "I know you're scared, but I promise Elliot isn't going to hurt you." Olivia pointed to the box. "See? He brought you something to eat. He's one of the good guys."

Josh looked at the food that Elliot was taking out. He looked back at Olivia, who gave him an encouraging smile, then back to the food and Elliot. Hunger finally won out and a hand shot out, grabbed a fry and shoved it into a greedy mouth.

From then, hunger reigned supreme as he wolfed down the chips and burger. Once he was settled in a corner happily sipping on a juice box, Elliot and Olivia went out to where Munch, Fin and Cragen were waiting.

"He mustn't have eaten in a while," Elliot said, glancing at the boy.

"Makes sense. Warner says Dad's been dead for two days," Munch explained.

Olivia's eyes widened. "Josh has been in that cupboard for two days?"

"We need to get him to a hospital," Cragen said. "Then we need Huang to talk to him."

"If he'll talk to Huang," Elliot said. "Since we found him, the only person he'll communicate with is Olivia."

"Then you can take him to the hospital," Cragen told Olivia.

* * *

HOSPITAL

Joshua sat on the bed, his legs dangling over the edge. His tear-stained eyes were fixed on Olivia, who smiled reassuringly at him.

It had taken two nurses, a doctor, and a lot of tears to realize that the only person Joshua was going to allow changing him into a hospital gown was Olivia.

The nurse came in with the camera. Both she and Josh eyed each other warily. His screams still echoed in her ears from earlier.

The nurse turned to Olivia. "You want to talk to him first?"

Olivia nodded and took the camera. "Hey sweetheart, the nurse wants to take some pictures of you. But you know what? How about we take a picture of me first, so you know it doesn't hurt?" She turned to the nurse, who nodded.

Olivia kept her eye on the boy as she made a funny face for the picture. She quickly turned as she heard a little giggle. "Was that a giggle?"

Josh stared back at her.

She smiled at him. "Oh, I get it. Wasn't you, right?" She made the face again and this time caught the little boy's smile. "I saw that. Did you think my face was funny?"

Josh nodded slowly.

Olivia grinned. "Good." She pointed to Ruggles. "Is Ruggles camera-shy? Want me to hold him? I'll sit right here."

Josh looked at Ruggles, then at Olivia. He finally handed the toy dog over. Olivia took him reverently and sat down in the chair. 


	2. 2

2 

"My god," Munch breathed, as the squad looked over the pictures taken of Joshua Emerson. "No wonder he's terrified of everyone."

Elliot watched carefully as Olivia's eyes roamed over the pictures.

"What's that?" Fin asked, pointing to something glinting in Josh's hand.

"My badge," Olivia replied. "He wanted to keep holding it."

George Huang wandered out into the room.

"How's Josh?" Olivia asked quickly.

"I'm not sure. He won't talk to me. I think it's because either you're not there, or you're not the one talking to him."

"Would it go better if Olivia was in there?" Elliot suggested.

George nodded. "More than likely. He's a very scared young boy, and it seems the only person he really trusts at the moment is Olivia. I think he's so upset he won't speak."

"Then let's see what else we can get out of him," Cragen said.

* * *

Josh's eyes lit up as Olivia walked into the room. She sat down on the chair and Josh crawled up beside her.

"Hey, little guy. Dr Huang said you didn't want to talk to him."

Josh was silent, instead deciding to play with Olivia's badge.

"You know, Dr Huang is a friend of mine too. Just like Elliot."

Josh looked up at her. Then he turned and looked outside to where George was standing, watching the two interact. He turned back to Olivia and placed his hand in hers, as if asking her to stay with him.

Olivia nodded. "Of course I will." She motioned for George to come inside.

When he entered, Josh gripped Olivia a little tighter, but stayed put.

"Hi, Josh," George said, sitting down across from them. "Thanks for letting me come talk to you."

Josh stared.

"Is it okay for me to ask you some questions?"

Josh just stared again.

"Okay, how about we start with the basics. How old are you?"

There was no reply. George looked at Olivia for help.

"Josh? Want to tell Dr Huang how old you are?" she asked. "Just like you told me, buddy."

Joshua hesitated for a moment, before holding up four fingers.

"Four," George smiled. "That's a great age. Did you have a birthday party?"

Josh shook his head.

"Okay. Want to tell me about your mommy?"

Josh shook his head again.

Olivia looked at George who nodded to her.

"Hey, Josh, was your Mommy pretty?"

Josh poked Olivia in the chest.

"Did she look like Olivia?" George asked. When he saw no response coming, he grabbed some crayons and some paper. "Would you like to draw a picture of her?"

Olivia watched the little boy's hesitation. She took another piece of paper. "Hey, Josh, how about I draw with you? We can both draw a picture of our mommies?"

That seemed to appease the boy a little bit, and he carefully chose a crayon and started drawing. Olivia also began to draw her mother on the piece of paper.

"I'll be right back," George said, getting up.

Olivia nodded. Joshua made no movement at all.

* * *

"Opinion?" Elliot asked him.

"He's traumatized, and not just from his father being killed. At the moment, I think the only one he's going to respond to is Olivia."

"What about somewhere to stay?" Munch asked. "We can't keep him here."

"I have a suggestion, but the answer would have to come from Olivia," George mused.

"You think Liv should keep him," Elliot said, without needing George to voice it.

George nodded. "Yes, I do."

"She's a single woman, a cop who's working on his case," Cragen interjected. "Social services will never go for it."

"I may be able to pull some strings," George murmured. "But at the end of the day, it's Olivia's choice."

"Do you think he might come out with anything while he's with her at home?" Fin asked.

George nodded. "If he thinks he's in a safe environment, he might. He might even gradually come out of the traumatic state."

"Let's talk to Olivia then," Cragen said.

* * *

OLIVIA BENSON'S APARTMENT

"This is where I live," Olivia said to the little boy, as they came to her apartment. "Smaller than your house though. But it's nice."

Josh held firmly onto her hand. Elliot was coming behind them with some extra things.

Olivia unlocked the door and the little boy went in with her, his hand never leaving hers.

"Home sweet home," Olivia said, shutting the door behind them.

Joshua's eyes scanned the apartment, looking at all the different and new things.

"You want to take a look around?" Olivia asked him, noting his curiosity.

Josh left her side and stood in the room, looking around. He poked his head inside her bedroom but quickly came out again.

"Maybe he's nervous in bedrooms," Elliot suggested.

"Maybe he's just nervous, period," Olivia replied. "I'm going to make up the sofa bed."

Elliot gave her a hand as she pulled out the bed and began making it up. Josh stood to one side, watching the whole process curiously.

"I bought some old pajamas of Dickie's over. I didn't think we'd be able to get at any of the stuff from the house," Elliot said.

Olivia smiled gratefully. "Thanks." She glanced over at the little boy while she tucked in the sheets. "I'm not going to make him take a bath. He's been through enough already."

"What about you?"

Olivia arched an eyebrow as she turned around to face Elliot.

Elliot stuttered for a moment. "I meant, what is he going to do while you have a shower?"

She smiled. "Um, I was hoping maybe you'd stay with him. If he'll let you."

Elliot nodded. "No problem."

"Josh?" Olivia said, turning to the little boy. "I'm going to go have a shower. Is it alright if Elliot stays here with you?"

Josh looked nervous, as if he was unsure what he should do.

"It's up to you," Olivia told him.

Taking a deep breath, Josh sat on the couch.

"I'll be as quick as possible," Olivia assured him. She turned to Elliot. "Just call me if you need me, okay?"

"We'll be okay, Liv." Elliot sat down on the other end of the couch so as not to make Josh uncomfortable. "Promise."

* * *

Olivia returned to the living room, dressed in sweats and a t-shirt. She smiled at Elliot, who was flicking the TV around to different channels.

"Hey," he smiled.

"Hi." Olivia looked down at the little boy whose big brown eyes watched every move she made. "Hi, Josh."

His hand rose up in a small wave, before quickly disappearing into his lap again.

"We were just discovering that there is nothing on late night TV," Elliot explained.

"Sounds like fun," Olivia teased. Keeping a close eye on Joshua's reaction, she sat down on the couch-bed between Elliot and Josh.

"I better let the two of you get some sleep," Elliot murmured, noticing the drooping eyes on Josh.

Olivia got up. "I'll be right back," she promised Josh.

Elliot waved. "Bye Josh. See you tomorrow."

Josh waved quickly, his hand disappearing as quickly as it had earlier.

Olivia walked Elliot out to the door.

"Thanks, for everything," she murmured.

"No problem," Elliot assured her. "Are you two going to be okay tonight?"

Olivia smiled. "I think so, yeah."

Elliot nodded. "Okay. If you need anything…either of you…give me a call, okay?"

"I will. Thanks, Elliot."

Olivia shut the door behind her partner and returned to the living room, finding Josh pressing the remote control for different channels.

"Find anything good?" she asked.

There was total silence as Josh let the control slip from his hands and he burrowed himself into the corner of the fold-out bed, his wide eyes staring up at her.

"It's okay, Josh." Olivia sat down on the other side of the bed. "You can use the remote control. It's okay." She picked up the control and handed it to him. "Here you go. Want to find us something to watch for a few minutes?"

Gingerly, Josh accepted the control and pressed around the buttons until he found some cartoons. He looked over at Olivia, waiting for her acceptance before he set the control down.

"Great choice," Olivia smiled at him.

Josh settled in to watch the cartoons, and Olivia watched with him, every so often checking both him and the clock.

* * *

Half an hour later, she decided it was bedtime.

"Josh?"

The little boy turned around to look at her.

"I think it's bedtime now, okay?"

He just nodded at her.

"Okay." Olivia stood up and pulled back the covers. "Want to hop under?"

Josh crawled under the covers, letting Olivia cover him. She took the remote control, turned off the TV and then sat on the side of the bed.

"I'll leave this lamp on here, okay? And the one in the bathroom."

Josh nodded.

Olivia pointed to her room. "I'll just be in there. If you need me, you just call or come get me, alright?"

Josh nodded again.

She took his hand and squeezed it, knowing he was too jittery for anything more. "Sleep well, Joshua."

TBC  



	3. 3

3

Later on in the night, Olivia awoke, hearing some sort of muttering. Realizing it was Joshua, she raced into the living room, finding him rocking around in his bed and muttering.

"Sleeping Beauty. Don't touch."

As she wondered what he was talking about, she bent down, stroking his head with her hand. "Josh…Josh it's Olivia. Wake up sweetheart, it's just a dream. Just a dream."

Joshua awoke with a start, his entire body shaking. Olivia took him in her arms, ignoring the fact that he might still be nervous.

"It's okay. I've got you, Josh."

With Olivia's arms around him, the shakes started to subside, his little body slowly curling up next to her.

Olivia stroked his forehead, brushing away some stray locks of hair that fell over his face. "It's okay, Josh. It's just me, Olivia. I'm here."

His hands gripped to her, making sure she stayed holding him.

"It's going to be okay, Josh." She hugged him tight. "It'll be okay."

* * *

"Sleeping Beauty?"

"He was terrified of it," Olivia murmured, glancing to where Josh was watching TV.

"Something in the house, perhaps?" Dr Huang theorized.

"Whatever it was, we should ask him about it," Elliot said.

Huang looked at Olivia. "You up for it?"

"I am." Olivia glanced at the boy. "I don't know if he is."

"There's only one way to find out."

* * *

"Josh?"

Josh looked up as Olivia reentered the room. He said nothing, but obediently turned the television off.

Olivia sat down beside him. "Josh, do you remember how you had a nightmare last night?"

The boy said nothing for a few moments, before finally nodding.

"Do you remember what you were scared of?"

Once again, Josh nodded.

Olivia took a deep breath. "Josh, I need to know about Sleeping Beauty."

His eyes widened and he started to back up on the chair. He shook his head.

"It's really important. I need you to tell me who she is…and where she is."

"NO!"

It was the first real communication from Joshua, and being such an outburst, Olivia was taken aback at first. But when he kept repeating the word, in softer tones, she shook herself back into the moment.

"It's okay," she murmured. "I'm sorry. It's okay." She tentatively enfolded him in her arms, closing them completely when he relaxed against her, still murmuring his first word.

* * *

Elliot and Cragen turned to Dr. Huang.

"What next?" Elliot asked. "He's obviously not going to talk about it, even to Olivia."

Huang stared at the scene in the room for a few moments. "No." He turned to the two cops. "But he might show her."

"We don't know where this "Sleeping Beauty" is," Cragen said. "It might not even be real."

"It's real," Huang assured him. "And let's assume, considering Joshua's life, that the Sleeping Beauty is in the house. If we take him there, with Olivia, he might show her."

"Isn't that just going to screw him up a hell of a lot more?"

"Or, it might start to help him," Huang suggested. "At the moment…this is all I've got."

* * *

Joshua snuggled closer into Olivia's arms as she carried him into the house. Part of her hated herself for what she was doing. The cop part knew it was the only way.

"Josh," Olivia said, as she set him down. "I know this is scary. But I'll be here with you the whole time." She took his hand. "I really need you to show me where Sleeping Beauty is."

Josh's hand gripped hers and she allowed him to lead her to the door to the cellar.

"I'm going to open the door now, okay?" Olivia asked him.

Josh said nothing, but his hand gripped hers to breaking point. Olivia decided to pick him up again, knowing that she'd made the right choice when he buried himself against her.

Olivia opened the door, turning on the light of the cellar. She took a tentative step down the stairs. Joshua turned slightly in her arms; his eyes peeking down the stairs.

She couldn't turn his face away before he saw it, and his alternate sobs and screams echoed in her ears as she took him outside.

"Cellar," she told Elliot, Fin, Munch and Cragen, who were waiting to go inside.

She paused as she passed Huang, her hands still trying to soothe the distressed boy in her arms. "Don't ever put him through that again," she hissed, heading for her car.

* * *

"Now this is sick," Fin said, as the four men entered the cellar. "No wonder the kid was as scared as hell."

A long glass enclosed box lay across a table. Inside laid the embalmed body of what appeared to be Andrea Masters.

"We better call Warner," Cragen said. "And get DNA and fingerprints to confirm this is who we think it is."

"Is there really any doubt?" Munch asked. "I mean, who else would this sicko keep in his cellar apart from Andrea Masters? Especially since she went missing two years ago."

"We still need Warner to confirm it."

Elliot looked up as Huang made his way down into the cellar. "Where's Liv and Joshua?"

"She took him home." Huang peered at the box. "I think someone should follow her."

Elliot glanced at the Captain, who nodded.

"Go."

* * *

Olivia glared at the door when she heard the buzzer. On her way to answer it, she glanced in on Joshua, who had finally fallen asleep after what seemed like hours of soothing. Luckily he slept on. She opened the door.

"Elliot?"

"Hey. I wanted to see how you and Josh were."

She pressed a finger to her lips. "He's asleep. Finally."

Elliot nodded. "How is he?"

"Upset. He cried the entire way back here. I think he fell asleep from exhaustion."

"And you?"

Olivia's eyes locked onto his. "What do you mean?"

"You're getting attached to him."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Elliot sighed. "Okay."

"I can handle this, Elliot."

"Liv, after what we've seen these past couple of days…I'm not even sure I can handle it sometimes."

"I can handle it," she said again, almost as if she was trying to convince herself.

"Liv…"

All of a sudden, Joshua appeared in the room, bumping into Olivia and grabbed her legs with his arms, his entire body heaving as he struggled to breathe in air.

She turned and picked him up, holding him tight as he snuggled into her embrace.

"It's okay, Josh. I'm right here. I won't let anything happen to you." She soothed the little boy with her voice.

The hyperventilating slowly started to calm down, as Josh was reassured by Olivia's arms around him.

"I think I'll sit up with him for a while," Olivia murmured, glancing at Elliot.

Elliot nodded. "Do you want me to stay with you? Keep you both…" He cursed as his pager went off, and his eyes met Olivia's as Joshua started to cry.

"It's Cragen," Elliot murmured. "He wants me at the…at the precinct."

Olivia's hands rubbed soothing strokes around Josh's back. "It's okay. I've got this. I'll see you tomorrow."

Elliot seemed reluctant to leave, but finally nodded his assent. "Okay. Bye Liv. Bye Josh."

After Elliot had left, Olivia walked Joshua back into the apartment, closing the door with her leg.

"Okay, buddy, it's just you and me now. Just you and me. No one here can hurt you." She walked up and down with him until her arms got tired, and his sobs slowed to the occasional hiccup and sniffle. Olivia continued to rock him, going so far as to press a kiss to the top of his head.

Thankfully it didn't seem to bother him too much, and his body started to relax against her, his tiny body twined around hers.

"That's better," Olivia whispered. She settled back on her bed, putting her feet up and resting against the headboard. "Everything's going to be fine."

* * *

"Good evening, Detectives," Dr Melinda Warner greeted, as Fin, Munch and Elliot traipsed into the room. "And Captain Cragen. I didn't realize we were having a party." She was surprised at the fact that all the cops had turned up.

"It's not everyday you find a model being preserved in a glass case," Munch commented.

"I certainly won't argue with you on that note," Melinda nodded. "And surprisingly enough, she was very well preserved. It appears the glass case had a cooling system attached in order to help the process. She's been embalmed to a degree, but it's very much an amateur piece of work."

"Embalming for Dummies?"

"You can find anything on the internet nowdays," Melinda replied.

"What about cause of death?" Cragen asked.

"Strangulation." Melinda pointed to the wounds on the neck. "With the hand. You can see the thumb mark here."

"Any other injuries?"

Melinda nodded. "Take your pick. We have the old caesarean scar from when her son was born. A few others here and there. Some bruising, particularly around the wrists. Maybe your perp restrained her when she was fighting back. She's got enough skin under her nails."

"DNA?" Fin brightened.

"Sure."

"It'll probably be the husband's," Cragen commented. "Anything else you can tell us?"

"She was pregnant."

The men froze and gazed at the ME.

"How far along?" Elliot asked.

"Eight weeks. She wouldn't have been showing yet, but she would have known."

"Anything else that didn't belong there?" Munch asked. "Something from someone that shouldn't have been there?"

Elliot glanced at him. "You think psycho husband took vigilante friend to look at his dead wife in a glass case?"

"It's worth checking," Fin said.

"There were a few fibers, a couple of hairs. But nothing surprising considering she was embalmed by an amateur."

"One more thing," Cragen said. "You can definitely attest that it's Andrea Masters?"

Melinda nodded. "We checked fingerprints. They match."

"How did you find her fingerprints?" Munch asked, confused. "Was she convicted of something?"

"No. But lucky for us, we had plenty of things to take samples from. And she was printed with her other colleagues when the original modeling agency she was with was investigated."

"Investigated for what?" Fin asked.

"Let's go find out," Cragen said.

The other three left, but Elliot lingered over the dead model for a few moments.

"How long has she been dead?"

"Around two years. It's hard to be certain, since she's technically been 'on ice', but my guess is two years." Melinda glanced at him.

"Has someone told her son?"

Elliot sighed. "He already knows."


	4. 4

Part 4 

Munch looked up as Olivia walked in, Joshua curled up in her arms.

"You look like hell," he commented.

She glared at him. "So do you."

Munch nodded towards Josh. "How is he?"

Olivia sighed. "We're awake and moving. And we slept for a little while last night." She looked around the deserted room. "Where is everyone?"

"Fin is out canvassing around the house. Huang is in with the Captain. Last time I saw Elliot he was in the morgue."

"In the morgue? I thought the autopsy was done last night?"

"It was. He was checking to see if Warner found anything we can send to the labs."

Olivia nodded and sat the little boy down on her chair, then knelt in front of him. "Are you hungry? You didn't eat much breakfast."

Joshua shook his head.

"What about a juice?"

Joshua shrugged.

Olivia looked around in her bag and pulled out a juice box. "Okay, here we go - orange."

Joshua looked at the box, then handed it back to her, pointing to the straw. Olivia grinned.

"Right, sorry about that." She opened the straw and put it into the box, handing it back to the little boy. "Better?"

He nodded and drew his legs up onto the chair, sucking on the straw.

"He's looking a little better this morning."

Olivia stood up, turning to meet Huang's gaze. "I'm not taking him back to that house."

"I'm not going to ask you to."

Cragen followed Huang out of his office. "We want to start interviewing Andrea's friends. As of now, we have two cases. Eddie's and Andrea's."

"I know which one we should focus on," Munch commented, "even though it's highly likely that the perp is dead."

"Huang wants you to go with him to meet her friends. And to take the boy with you," Cragen told Olivia.

Olivia's eyes widened. "You're kidding, right? He's four years old!"

"Look at his eyes," Huang said. "They're his mothers. And he trusts you. And he's the key to this. Any help he can give us is good."

"He's four," Olivia reiterated. "Hasn't he been through enough?"

"All this involves is going in the car with you and Huang," Cragen said. "He's content to be in your company."

Olivia looked out to where the little boy was watching her intently with his big eyes. She sighed. "Fine."

Joshua's eyes turned to the door, where Fin and Elliot had just made their way inside.

"Nada," Fin said. "No one saw or heard anything."

Cragen turned to Elliot, who had waved at Josh. "Anything?"

Elliot nodded. "Warner says that it looks like she was cleaned thoroughly, but she did detect some semen. Also a couple of fibers and hairs. They're going to check for DNA. The lab is still working on the glass case, but they do want to go through the rest house. There's one more thing."

"What?"

"They took the bed sheets that Emerson was found on. There are multiple DNA donors." He sighed. "And a hair that has been identified as belonging to Josh."

Olivia's eyes closed momentarily. "What about the other donors?"

Elliot looked at the file. "One's been identified as Eddie Emerson. There are four other donors. Two men and two women. All unknown."

"So there were four other people in the bed?" Munch said. "All at once?"

"They can't be sure, but it looks like they were staggered out." Elliot shrugged. "Lab said that one of the semen and one of the vaginal donors were definitely there at the same time."

"Dare we ask how often he changes his sheets?" Munch wondered.

"I don't think I want to know," Cragen replied. "What about Josh? Just a hair?"

Elliot nodded. "No other donations. But they're still looking over it. They put on the light and the sheet just lit up."

"I…" Olivia glanced at the boy and disappeared down the hall to the bathroom.

Joshua watched her go, and with a move that surprised all the men in the room, he got off his chair and followed her.

Cragen nodded to Elliot. "Go after them."

* * *

Olivia slumped in the stall, wiping her mouth. Her ears pricked up when she heard a little voice call out her name.

"Livia?"

Her eyes widened. "Josh?"

"Livia?"

"In here, Joshua," she murmured, unlocking the stall door and looking out.

The little boy made his way down to where she was, and settled himself in her lap, his arms around her neck and his head resting against her.

"You said my name," she murmured, a smile on her face.

"Olivia?" Elliot came into the women's bathroom.

"In here," she said, looking out at him.

"I see Josh found you," Elliot remarked, walking over to them. He squatted down beside her. "You okay?"

"He said my name," Olivia said, a smile on her face.

Elliot's eyes widened. "He did?"

Olivia nodded. "He came in here and said my name. He was looking for me."

"I knew he was looking for you," Elliot agreed. "The minute you left he got off his chair and followed you." Elliot handed over a bottle of water. "Here."

Olivia smiled her gratitude and took a sip. "Thanks. Just what…in there…"

Elliot put up a hand. "It's okay. You should have seen me down in the lab when they explained it to me."

They shared a smile and Olivia took another drink.

"Huang and the Captain want me to take him with us, when we go and interview Andrea's friends."

"What do you think?"

"I think you're right."

Elliot sat down beside them, looking confused. "Right about what?"

Olivia sighed, her hand stroking Joshua's head. "I'm getting attached."

TBC  



	5. 5

Part 5 

"This is the home of Leah Watson. She and Andrea worked as models for the same company. They were very close friends," Olivia said, pulling up outside the house.

"She should be able to shed some light on Andrea's disappearance," Huang commented.

Olivia glanced at Joshua, who sat in the backseat, his eyes on her.

"I still don't think this is a good idea," she said.

Huang glanced at her. "He's with us now and you can't leave him in the car. Besides, I honestly think this is a good chance."

Olivia bit her lip, glancing at the boy. She sighed and opened the door. "Ready, Josh?"

The boy silently slid out of the car, his small hand slipping into Olivia's. Huang walked up the front steps, ringing the doorbell. Olivia hung behind, worried about what Joshua's reaction was going to be.

The door was answered by a slim blonde in her thirties. "Can I help you?"

"My name is Dr. George Huang. I'm with the FBI. This is Detective Olivia Benson, with the Special Victim's Unit. Can we come in?"

The woman nodded and opened the door a little more. Olivia went to move, but Josh stayed put, his hand still holding hers.

Olivia glanced at Huang, who was halfway in the door. She sighed and picked the boy up.

"You knew Andrea Masters?" Huang said.

Leah looked at them, her eyes wide. "Yes. We were close friends. Until she married Eddie. Then she was a little more distant. She went missing two years ago." Her eyes went to Joshua. "That's her son."

Huang nodded. "We found Joshua in his home. His father was murdered. His mother was also murdered."

Leah sat down, her hand over her mouth. "Oh, God." She glanced at Josh. "He looks like her."

Joshua took one look at the woman and buried his head back on Olivia's shoulder.

"We need to ask you some questions," Huang said.

Leah nodded. "Whatever I can do. Andrea was a close friend."

"When was the last time you saw Andrea?"

"She wanted to get back into modeling. It was going to be hard. She hadn't been in the public eye since Josh was born. Also, after having to patch her up all the time, Colin wasn't too thrilled with the prospect of doing it again."

"Who was Colin?"

"He worked for our agency. He kind of took care of us and made sure the makeup people could make Andrea look brand new. When Eddie started hitting her, Colin was the one that'd patch her up when she turned up to work."

Olivia frowned. "Didn't anyone think of calling the cops?"

"Andrea didn't want us to. She said it would have gotten sticky."

"Considering she's dead, isn't that a whole lot more sticky?" Olivia asked.

"I didn't WANT Andrea to die," Leah said. "But the truth is, once she married Eddie, we weren't that close anymore. I wanted her to get help, but she didn't listen."

"Did Andrea have any family?" Huang asked, glancing sideways at Olivia.

"Andrea was an only child. I think Eddie was too. Andy's parents died a few years back. I don't know about Eddie's."

Huang stood up. "Okay. Thank you for helping us. We'll be in touch."

Leah watched Olivia stand up with Joshua. "Who's…who's taking care of him?"

"I am," Olivia said flatly. "He's safe."

* * *

Elliot ran a concerned eye over Olivia, as she, Joshua and Huang returned to the precinct.

"How did things go?"

"Fine," Olivia replied, shifting Josh to her other hip. "I'm going to get Josh some lunch. Hungry?"

Elliot nodded. "I'll check with the captain." He soon returned. "Cap cleared us for lunch. Let's go."

* * *

Olivia watched with faint amusement as Josh dunked his nugget in tomato sauce. He was quite content as he munched on his lunch.

Elliot was busy eating his sandwich. He was starving, which made sense, considering he hadn't eaten much breakfast.

Olivia glanced at her sandwich, and taking a deep breath, picked it up and took a bite.

"He seems no worse for wear after this morning," Elliot commented, gesturing to Josh.

Olivia nodded slightly. "He's…he's coping."

"But?"

"The woman that we went to interview…Leah Watson... she was a friend of Andrea's. She wanted to know who was taking care of him."

Elliot looked vaguely confused. "So you told her that you were?"

Olivia nodded.

"I don't see the problem."

"I don't want there to ever be a doubt as to who's taking care of him."

Elliot paused, the point of their conversation finally sinking in. "You want custody."

Olivia nodded again.

Elliot was silent for a moment. "You've been thinking about this for a while, haven't you?"

"Yes."

"Do you know how you're going to go about it?"

"I was going to go ask Casey for some advice. But I wanted you to know first." Olivia looked up at him. "I guess I wanted your opinion."

"My opinion?" Elliot looked at the boy, who was eyeing off some of Olivia's sandwich. He turned back to his partner. "I'll be supporting you all the way."

* * *

When they got back to the precinct, Munch looked up. "About time. Fin just got back from the Lab."

"And?" Elliot asked, looking at the other man.

"We got some hits. Trace on mom came back Joshua and Dad. No one else."

"How did they get into the system?" Olivia asked.

"Joshua from pre-school-only entered last year. And his dad from an old coke charge."

"Anything else?" Cragen asked, standing in the doorway to his room.

"We got a few hits on the bed sheet. Obviously we got Eddie, and Joshua. We also have a convicted pedophile." He squinted and then looked up again. "You've got to be kidding me."

"What?"

"Another donor is the owner of the modeling agency that Andrea worked at."

Cragen arched an eyebrow. "Was he the one investigated?"

Fin nodded. "That was why his prints are on file."

"Alright. Munch, Fin, go and chat with him. See if he wants to voluntarily come in and help." He turned to Olivia. "Give Leah Watson a call. See if she wants to talk about what happened with the investigation." Then he turned to Elliot. "I want to know everything about this case. Get Novak to unlock files if she has to."

* * *

"The files aren't sealed," Casey replied, looking at her computer. "But the charges were dropped."

"Why?" Elliot asked.

"Wasn't enough evidence. And by the time it came to the Grand Jury, Andrea Masters was already missing."

Elliot looked at her. "It took two years to get to the Grand Jury?"

Casey shrugged. "There were a lot of models, a lot of people that had moved and needed to be tracked down. From what I've read, it looks like the whole thing turned into a big mess. When Andrea Masters went missing, I guess for the ADA at the time, it didn't seem worth it anymore."

"Andrea Masters was going to testify?"

Casey nodded. "She's listed here as one of the key witnesses."

"So Eddie might not have murdered her after all."

Casey glanced at him. "You don't really believe that."

"Her testimony could have shut down an entire modeling agency. A very lucrative one at that. We have to look at the possibility." He sighed. "But no, I don't really believe it."

Casey looked up at him. "Anything else I can get you?"

Elliot sighed. "Yeah. Someone to pay for what happened to that kid."

Casey handed him the file. "You find them, I'll make the announcement in the appropriate prison."

TBC


	6. 6

Part 6 

"Thanks for coming in," Olivia said, sitting down across from Leah.

"No problem. I want to help find out who killed Andy as much as you do." She looked around. "Where's Josh?"

"He's asleep," Olivia replied. "Everything has been taking a toll on him."

Leah nodded. "Of course."

"When we were going through our records, we found that the agency had been investigated. I don't suppose you could shed some light on that?"

"It wasn't a huge deal. We had 25 models working in the agency. Larry – that's the owner – didn't want anymore than that. We brought enough work in, and made enough money. Larry said that if he had anymore girls, he wouldn't have the time to devote to them all."

"Did you know about the allegations?"

"Everyone did. It started when Larry hired this thirteen-year-old kid. Larry wanted to have a wide age range of girls. That way he could target more markets. Anyway, about three months after she started, she went to the cops saying Larry raped her."

"You don't think there was any truth in the allegation?"

Leah shook her head. "Larry was a great guy. He took care of us. The cops came in and started investigating. Another model told them that what Larry was really running was an escort agency. That's why we all got fingerprinted. The cops thought they could match us to hooker bars and stuff."

"Leah, why was Andrea on the list to testify?"

Leah sighed. "Look, I loved Andy. But when she started with Eddie, all kinds of strange things started happening. She doesn't want to hang out with me anymore, she wants to file charges against Eddie then she doesn't…" She shrugged. "Who knows what she would have said on that stand."

"You don't think what she might have said would have implicated Larry?"

"I guess no one will ever know," Leah replied.

Olivia was about to say something else when Fin opened the door. "Olivia, we need you. Now."

"Excuse me," Olivia said to Leah. She got up and followed Fin out. "What is it?"

"The kid woke up. He's going crazy. Munch has him barricaded in the crib. He's been yelling for you for ages."

Olivia's eyes widened and she went out into the main room. She could hear Joshua from there.

"My Liv! My Liv! My Liv!"

The words were being repeated over and over, at a high voice. When Munch saw her coming, he let out an audible sigh of relief and stepped aside.

Joshua saw Olivia and raced towards her. He still said "My Liv," as she picked him up, but now in a much quieter murmur.

"Shh," Olivia crooned, rocking him in her arms. "It's okay. I'm here."

"He wouldn't let us anywhere near him," Munch explained.

Olivia nodded at him, kissing the top of Joshua's head. "Shh. I'm here."

"Liv left."

"I know, and I'm sorry. I was right downstairs. I thought you were asleep."

"Awake."

The three detectives looked at each other, amazed at the words coming from the boy's mouth.

"It's okay. I'm here now."

"What happened?" Cragen asked, coming upstairs. "I heard him screaming all the way in the hallway."

"He woke up and I wasn't there," Olivia explained. "I was with Leah Watson."

"He's okay now," Munch murmured. "He's got Olivia."

* * *

Elliot came into the bullpen, seeing Olivia and Josh sitting on her chair. "Hi."

Olivia looked up. "Hey. How did it go with Novak?"

Elliot nodded. "Okay. We got everything we need." He glanced at Joshua. "Fin told me that he had a little episode."

Olivia nodded. "Yeah. It was my fault. I should have known he'd wake up and miss me."

Elliot sat down opposite her. "We all make mistakes with our kids, Liv. This is your first." He grinned. "Congratulations and welcome to the club."

Olivia chuckled. "Thanks."

Elliot handed over a box. "This is for you."

Olivia arched an eyebrow, looking into the box. "A baby monitor?"

"After Munch called me, I made a detour home. It's the one we used for our kids. I thought you and Josh could use it like walkie-talkies. It's small enough that you can stick it in your back pocket. That way, if you have to be away from him, he knows you're there."

Olivia looked up at him, smiling gratefully. "Thank you, El. So much."

"Consider it your club welcome present."

They chuckled together. Munch came over. "Larry Morgan just arrived."

"Who's going to do the interview?" Elliot asked.

"I want Elliot and Munch on it," Cragen decided.

* * *

"I'm so sorry to hear that," Larry Morgan said, after Elliot had told him of Andrea Master's death. "I suppose a part of me always wished that she had just disappeared onto some exotic island somewhere. She was a great kid."

"She had a great kid," Elliot commented.

"Ah yes. Joshua. Never had the opportunity to meet him. He'd be what…three now?"

"Four," Munch corrected.

Larry nodded.

"We heard there were some allegations against your modeling agency," Elliot said, sitting down.

Larry sighed. "Old history. A child made an accusation. She mistook what was a kind gesture to be something else."

"Sex is a kind gesture nowadays," Munch said.

"I didn't have sex with her," Larry replied. "I let her sleep on the couch in my trailer while we were on a shoot. She was just a kid, and she was tired."

"Why was Andrea Masters going to testify for the prosecution at the trial?"

"There was no trial."

"Because she went missing," Elliot said.

"And you think I helped her?" Larry shook his head. "Her husband was a bastard. You should be looking at him."

"We've looked at him recently," Munch replied. "He's dead."

"Can't say I'm sorry to hear it," Larry shrugged. "Look, I don't know what Andrea was going to say at the trial. All I ever did was give her a bit of leeway when Eddie was smacking her around."

"She wanted to get back into modeling after Joshua was born."

Larry nodded. "It was gonna be hard for her. She'd been off the runway for a while. But I gave her a go. She was big business."

"What did you do when she went missing?"

Larry blinked. "What do you mean by do?"

"She was missing. Did you try and find her?"

"The cops were doing that. They came and questioned me, so I told them everything I knew…which was nothing. Never saw them again. First thing I've heard about it was you telling me she's dead."

"Did you socialize with Eddie Emerson?"

"That dirtbag? No."

"You've never been to his apartment?"

"Why would I? I already said I never socialized with him."

Munch put the report on the table. "Funny that. Because we found your DNA on his bed sheet."

"You're lying."

"Look at the report," Elliot said, pushing it across the table. "That's your DNA."

"So what? You had sex with Andrea?"

"No!" Larry said, pushing the report back at Elliot. "I never had sex with Andrea."

Elliot got out another folder. "Did you know the state we found Joshua in when we found him? He'd been raped and abused. Was HE the one you had sex with?"

"No!" Larry cried. "Geez! No!"

"Eddie?" Munch asked, sitting beside Elliot.

"No!"

"Then how do you explain the DNA, Larry?"

"I want a lawyer."

* * *

"He lawyered up," Munch said, sitting in his chair.

"What did he give you beforehand?" Cragen asked.

"He said he didn't have sex with the thirteen-year-old," Elliot said. "He said he'd never been to Eddie Emerson's apartment. Then when we told him about the DNA, he said he'd never slept with Josh, Andrea, or Eddie."

"Hey, here's something interesting," Fin said, coming over. "I was looking through some of the hiring things. Andrea was nearly always a first choice. If she was too booked up, guess who got the leftovers?"

"Leah Watson?"

Fin nodded.

"I think we should talk to the thirteen-year-old," Huang said. "She would know what was going on behind the scenes."

"That's more to do with the modeling agency," Olivia replied. "I thought we were finding out who killed Andrea and Eddie."

"The modeling agency is linked to this," Huang explained. "Most of the players who are associated with this had ties to the agency. Larry owned it, Leah and Andrea both worked there. Andrea had something on Larry. This girl might know what Andrea was going to say."

"I also think we should track down Colin," Cragen said. "They said he was the one always patching up Andrea. Maybe he got cranky at Eddie?" He turned to Munch. "You and Fin go find Colin. Elliot, I want you and Olivia to work with the girl."

Olivia glanced at Joshua, who was silently coloring in at her desk. "And Josh?"

There was silence for a moment, as Joshua looked up, having heard his name.

"Bring the girl in," Cragen said. He glanced at Joshua for a moment, and headed back to his office.


	7. 7

Part 7 

Carrie Woods sat in the interview room, her hands fidgeting on her knees. Olivia smiled at her, sitting across from her as Elliot leant against the wall.

"Carrie, I'm Olivia and this is Elliot."

Carrie said nothing, just continued to fidget.

"Carrie, we need to talk about what happened at the modeling agency."

The now fifteen-year-old glanced at her mother, who nodded encouragingly at her daughter.

Carrie sighed. "I met Larry when I started at his agency. Everything went fine for a while, but one day I was really tired and he said I could lie down in his trailer."

"Did models often lie down in his trailer?" Elliot asked.

"Sometimes. It wasn't any big deal. If you were on a shoot and you were worn out, you could go lie down while they set up the shots. Larry was pretty good about that, particularly since I was just a kid."

Olivia felt tempted to remind the girl that she was still a kid, but kept her thought to herself.

"So what changed?" Elliot asked.

"One night, I was taking a nap in there. Next thing I knew, Larry was in there, touching me." Carrie stopped. "I told mom who told the cops. Then Andrea disappeared and nothing happened."

"Carrie, did you know that Andrea was supposed to testify?"

Carrie nodded. "Yeah. She came over to my house one night to tell me that she was on my side, and that she was going to testify."

"Do you know what she was going to talk about?" Olivia asked the girl.

"No. She never told me. Just said that she was on my side." Carrie looked at them. "I didn't think of it then, because I was only a kid, and I figured it was something to do with the whole process."

"Were there any other models who agreed with you?"

"Some of them did. Some of them just thought I was a troublemaker because I was a kid." Carrie glared at the detectives. "I didn't make it up. I was raped."

Olivia nodded. "We saw the police report, Carrie. We believe you."

Carrie nodded and relaxed slightly. "Okay."

"Carrie, did you ever know what happened to Andrea?" Elliot asked.

"Just that she went missing," Carrie replied. "I know she had a kid too. She was always talking about him when she came to work."

* * *

"Colin Hamilton?" Munch asked.

The man turned around and stared at them. He was roughly forty years old, black hair and green eyes. "Yeah?"

Fin held up his badge. "Detective Tutola. This is Detective Munch. We wanted to talk to you about Andrea Masters."

Colin let out a sigh. "We went through this two years ago."

"We need to go through it again," Munch said. "We found her."

Colin's eyes lit up. "You found her? Really? Where is she? Is she okay?"

"She's not okay. She's dead," Fin told him.

"Oh, my god!" Colin's face crumpled, before he rubbed a hand over his face. "How?"

"She was strangled and then embalmed in a glass box to be put on display," Fin said.

"Oh, god!" Colin said, sinking down to the top step. "And her kid?"

"He's safe. He's got someone really nice taking care of him," Munch replied. "What we want to know is how much you knew about Andrea's disappearance," Fin asked.

"Nothing," Colin told them. "Apart from the fact she disappeared."

"We were told you were really close," Munch said. "You fixed her up after her husband hit her?"

"Towards the end, yes. Before she left us." Colin sighed. "I don't know what else I can tell you that I haven't already told the police the first time they came here."

"What about her husband, Eddie? What did you know about him?"

"Only that he hit her regularly. Other than that, I knew nothing about him."

"Every one we talk to keep saying Andrea didn't want the police involved. She say that to you too?"

Colin nodded. "She was paranoid about it. No one was supposed to talk about it."

"You ever go to her place?"

Colin shook his head. "No. She liked keeping her personal and private life separate. Maybe that was one of the reasons we weren't allowed to help with Eddie."

"What happened the day she disappeared?"

"I don't know. I wasn't there."

Munch and Fin glanced at each other.

"Where were you?" Fin asked.

"I was at my other job. I work for another modeling agency downtown. Santo's. When I got home, there was a message from Larry asking me if I'd seen Andrea."

"Did you know about the trouble going on with Larry and that thirteen year old kid?" Fin asked.

Colin nodded. "I don't know much about it though. But Larry was real worried about it. He was stressed at that time, what with Andrea getting pregnant and taking time off."

"Did you know Andrea was testifying at the trial?"

"Yeah. She mentioned it."

"Did she mention what she was going to say?"

"I didn't really want to know. Staying out of it, you know?"

"Yeah, we know," Munch said. "A lot of people seem to have been doing that with this case."

* * *

Casey Novak looked up as Olivia came into the room. Joshua held tightly to her hand.

"Hi. This must be Josh."

Olivia nodded. "Josh, this is Ms. Novak."

"Casey," the woman said, waving at him. "Nice to meet you, Josh."

Joshua hung back behind Olivia, but a small hand came out and made a quick wave.

"I need to ask you a question," Olivia said. "Or a couple of questions."

"Sure," Casey said, "have a seat."

Olivia sat down and held her arms out to Josh, who happily crawled into her lap.

"So, what's on your mind?"

"Do you know anyone who works in the family court?"

Casey watched her carefully. "Yes. Why?"

"I want to get custody of Josh."

Casey's eyes widened. "Custody?"

"I've thought about it. A lot. And I want to do it. I want to raise him and get him through this."

"Wow. Okay." Casey paused and thought for a moment. "Give me a couple of days and I'll see what I can do."

Olivia smiled gratefully. "Thanks."

* * *

"Hi."

Olivia leant in the doorway of her apartment, smiling at her partner. "Hey. What brings you by?"

"I knew you were going to see Casey and I thought I'd drop by and see how it went."

"You want to come in?"

Elliot nodded and she let him in, closing the door behind her.

"Josh just went to bed half an hour ago," Olivia replied, gesturing to the lounge room sofa bed, where Josh lay soundly sleeping. "Kitchen?"

Elliot followed her into the kitchen, and sat at the counter. "So, how did things go with Casey?"

Olivia put the kettle on. "She said to give her a couple of days and she'd see what she could do."

"That's promising."

Olivia shrugged. "I don't know. I just feel like…I want him now."

"You've got him now."

"But for how long? Till the case is over?"

"Hopefully forever."

Olivia nodded. "I just…I can't think of handing him over to some state-run home. He wouldn't survive, El, I know he wouldn't."

"Hey…" Elliot placed a hand over hers. "Don't worry about all this yet. Huang has made sure you have him for now. And if someone comes for him, we'll fight. We've all got your back, Liv. Especially me."

Olivia squeezed his hand. "I know. I appreciate it."

He smiled at her. "Chin up, Liv."

Olivia grinned. "It is now."


	8. 8

Part 8 

"So let's recap," Cragen said. "Carrie Woods says that Larry Morgan raped her. Larry Morgan was going to trial for his modeling agency screw-ups, but when Andrea Masters disappeared, it fell through. The DNA on the bedsheet belongs to Larry Morgan, Eddie Masters, a locked up pedophile, and two women. Larry Morgan says he never went to the Masters house, and never had sex with anyone in that family, or Carrie Woods. The two female donors are unknown. So far, the evidence tells us that Eddie Masters killed Andrea Masters. Neither Leah Watson or our friend Colin Hamilton know anything useful."

"Leah Watson did say that Larry Morgan took care of the models," George commented. "Perhaps there's something there."

"There is way too much caring and sharing going on in this case," Munch muttered.

Olivia looked up. "Can we test Leah's DNA against one of the contributions on the bedsheet?"

Casey looked over at her. "Not yet. There's no probable cause to assume she was in that house."

"Unless she volunteered it," Elliot suggested.

"Why would she do that?" Fin asked.

"If Josh could place her in that bedroom," Elliot explained.

Olivia's eyes widened, and then a hurt look crossed her face as she looked at him. "I am NOT asking him that."

"I wasn't going to suggest that," Elliot said quickly. "I thought we could let Leah believe that Josh had fingered her. She might volunteer her DNA."

"It's worth a shot," Cragen said. "Olivia, Elliot, ask her in."

* * *

"Liv…"

Olivia was in the crib, handing Joshua a juice when Elliot found her. She turned around, looking at him. "Hey."

"Hey. Can I talk to you for a second?"

Olivia nodded and patted the baby monitor. "I'll be right back, okay Josh?"

The little boy nodded, pulling his toy dog to him as he sucked on the juice.

Olivia walked just outside the door to where Elliot was. "Is everything okay?"

"I just wanted to make sure things were okay between us."

"They are. I was just a little…surprised."

"I'd never put Josh in any danger."

Olivia smiled at Elliot. "I know. I think I was just momentarily stunned for a moment."

"So, we're okay?"

Olivia put a hand on her shoulder. "We're very okay." She leant over and kissed his cheek. "Don't worry so much."

Elliot's eyes widened at the feel of her lips pressing against his cheek. He turned to talk to her, but she had already headed back in to talk to Josh.

* * *

Leah Watson looked curiously at Olivia and Elliot, who were seated on the other side of the table.

"I thought you might be interested in what was happening to Josh," Olivia said. "Since Andrea was such a close friend and all."

"Um, sure."

"He's staying with me," Olivia explained. "He hasn't said a word since we found him."

Elliot slid photos of the house over to Leah. "That cupboard was where he hid for two days."

Leah's eyes widened. "Oh, my god. The poor little kid."

"We've been trying to rule people out. Anyone who came into contact with him or the house," Olivia said. "Just to make sure that no one who has a legitimate reason to be there has their DNA there."

"What can I do to help?" Leah asked.

"A sample of your DNA might help," Elliot said, looking at Olivia for confirmation.

She nodded back at him.

"My DNA? Why?"

Elliot smiled. "We're thorough."

Leah shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "I don't know. I really hate needles."

"Well we don't have to necessarily use needles, do we Elliot?" Olivia said, turning to her partner.

"Not at all," Elliot enthused. "Besides, you've got nothing to hide. You were Andrea's friend. That's an explanation for your DNA being at their house."

Leah paused. "That's true."

Olivia smiled. "Great. You'll love Dr. Warner."

* * *

Downstairs, Leah squinted her eyes shut as they took her blood, after Melinda Warner had coaxed the girl into the practice.

"You know, Leah, I meant to ask about some of your modeling work," Elliot said.

Leah's eyes opened and stared at him. "What about it?"

"Well, we read something weird that said you were often offered the jobs that Andrea turned down."

Leah's eyes darkened for just a moment, before she swallowed and smiled. "Well, I'm up for any job," Leah said. "Any job that pays."

Olivia and Elliot shared a glance.

"Of course," Elliot replied.

* * *

"You think Leah was paid to kill Eddie?" Cragen asked. "That's thin."

"Just after what she said. That she was up for any job that pays," Elliot replied. "She could have given any reason to counteract me asking her about her modeling jobs, but instead she said that."

"He could be right," Huang said. "Leah obviously had a reason to have a grudge against Andrea. Maybe in killing Eddie, she took out all her frustration against him."

"Could she have cut his penis off?" Cragen questioned.

"I would have," Olivia muttered, coming back downstairs after checking on Josh.

The five men in the room all looked at her.

She looked back at them. "What?"

Elliot smirked and they went back to the discussion.

"Have we got the DNA back yet?" Cragen asked.

"Munch and Fin are harassing Warner," Elliot answered.

"Who do we think paid her to kill him?"

"Pick an asshole, any asshole," Olivia suggested.

"Larry Morgan?"

"I'm thinking Colin Hamilton," Huang said. "He was the one who patched her up after one of Eddie's beatings."

"How well do Leah and Colin know each other?" Cragen asked.

"Since Colin worked with Andrea and at the modeling agency, they had to be at least casually acquainted," Olivia said.

"What can Josh tell us about all these people?" Huang theorized.

Olivia glanced at him quickly. "What?"

Elliot put his hand on her arm. "Easy, Liv," he murmured.

"If we had a photo array of all the players," Huang suggested, "and showed Joshua, he might be able to pick some out."

"Do we really want to put him through that?" Olivia asked, a sense of urgency to her voice.

"He's improved under your care," Huang reminded her. "He's even talking."

"Barely," Olivia said. "And only to me."

Joshua began making his way down the stairs, Ruggles in his arms. "Livia?"

Olivia turned around, looking up at him. Her face relaxed into a smile. "Hey, there. I thought you were still napping."

"'Wake now."

"I see that." She walked over to him and he lifted his arms, hoping to be picked up. Olivia smiled and indulged him, lifting him and Ruggles into her arms. "Sleep well?"

Joshua nodded.

"That's good." She hugged him, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. Joshua snuggled closer.

The phone rang and Cragen picked it up. He nodded and assented to whatever the person on the phone was saying. He hung up and turned to the group. "That was a 911 page from the labs. Olivia, Elliot, go see what they want."

* * *

Olivia continued to hold Joshua tight in her arms. After the discussion with Huang, she wasn't quite comfortable leaving him anywhere.

"Did you match Leah Watson's DNA?" Elliot asked, as they walked into the lab.

"Hello to you, too." The man smiled at them. He turned to Josh. "Hi, Joshua. Nice to meet you."

The little boy buried his head in Olivia's shoulder.

"Leah Watson's DNA?"

"Not back yet. But I did find something interesting in the way of prints on the glass case."

"Leah Watson's prints?"

The man looked at the two strangely. "No. Joshua's."

"We expected that," Elliot said. "It was his mother. Eddie must have shown him all the time."

"Sure, you expect to find it on the outside. We found it on the catch and on the inside."

Olivia and Elliot looked at him, confused.

"You meant Josh was inside that box?"

"It looks like he opened the door. He was definitely inside. Can't say whether he got inside himself, or he was pushed in, but I do have fibers from a gray fabric that was caught on the latch."

"That might tell us if he got in himself or was pushed," Olivia said.

Elliot looked at her. "He could tell us."

Olivia said nothing for a moment. "Can we find out more first? I don't want to push him."

The lab technician glanced at the looks flowing between them. "I'm just going to finish up over here."

Elliot turned to Olivia. "I don't like the idea any more than you do, Liv, but we're running into an area where we're getting more questions than answers. There are some things we have to ask him about."

Olivia looked to the little boy in her arms. "I don't want to." She colored slightly. "I sound about three."

"You sound like a mother."

Her eyes met his. "I'm sorry?"

"You're sounding like a mother."

She couldn't help the feeling of pride that ran through her. "Thanks."

"But, Liv, you have to act like a cop, as well."

Olivia nodded, shifting Joshua to her other hip. "I know." She sighed. "That's the part that, for the first time, isn't so easy."

TBC  



	9. 9

Part 9 

Huang presented the photo array. "It's the same sort of thing you show witnesses. All he needs to do is look at the pictures and see if he can pick out anyone."

Olivia glanced over at where Josh was drawing at her desk, his legs swinging from the chair. "And we can have timeout? If he needs a break?"

Huang nodded. "Of course."

Olivia took a deep breath and went over to Josh. "Hey, little guy. Want to come into the kids' room with me?"

Joshua put down his crayon and took her hand, sliding off the seat.

Olivia led him into the kids' room, and she sat down on the floor with him. Huang followed them in, sitting down on a small chair.

"Josh, I need you to do something for me," Olivia began, looking at the little boy.

Joshua looked nervously at her.

"It's okay," she assured him. "I just want to show you some pictures."

Josh looked at her carefully, waiting until she placed the photo array on the table.

"I need you to tell me if you recognize any of these people," Olivia explained.

The little boy hesitantly looked at the photos. Turning away, he put a finger on Leah's face.

"That's good. You recognize her? Where from?" Huang asked.

"House."

"Whose house, Josh?" Olivia asked. "Yours?"

Josh nodded.

"Anyone else you recognize?" Olivia asked him, as Huang wrote down Leah's name.

Joshua reluctantly pointed out Larry Morgan.

Olivia closed her eyes briefly as Huang wrote the name down.

When Josh had finished pointing out the names, Huang took the photo array off the table, and then looked pointedly at Olivia.

She looked at Josh, took a deep breath, and began to talk. "Josh, I need to talk to you about your Mommy."

"Mommy sleep."

Olivia nodded. "We know that, sweetheart. Do you remember where she was sleeping?"

Josh nodded and turned away to play with some toy cars.

"Josh, did you try and wake your Mommy up at all?"

"Knock, knock. Wake up, Mommy. Naughty Josh."

Olivia glanced at Huang, whose eyes were wide.

"Did your Daddy tell you that you were naughty?"

Joshua nodded.

Huang moved a little closer. "Joshua, did your father put you in the case with your mother?"

"See how you like it!" Joshua cried, sweeping the cars away.

Olivia scooped the little boy up in her arms. She turned to Huang. "No more." Joshua buried his head in Olivia's shoulder, beginning to cry.

"Shh, little guy," she whispered, taking him out of the room and up to the crib. "Shh, it's okay. I won't let anyone hurt you ever again."

* * *

Elliot hovered outside the door to the room, watching Olivia comfort the little boy.

She sat on the bed, rocking him in her arms. Her eyes looked up and caught Elliot's. Olivia smiled sadly at him.

Elliot edged inside the door, closing it behind him. "Can I do anything to help?"

"You can come and sit with us if you want," Olivia suggested.

Elliot nodded and came inside, sitting on the chair that was near the bed. "He did well, Liv."

"I know."

"So did you."

Olivia looked up at him, surprised. "Thanks."

* * *

"So, from our little experiment we can establish that Leah Woods and Larry Morgan were in that house," Cragen said.

Huang nodded. "That's definite. The other definite is that he was in that glass case with his mother. Probably as punishment."

"For trying to wake her up?"

"Yes. His father told him that his mother was sleeping. At his young age, he wouldn't be able to tell the difference between sleeping and dead. So, he did what any child would do. He tried to wake her up."

"Except Eddie caught him," Fin said.

"Right. Something probably made him mad about Joshua trying to wake his mother up. Maybe because the child wasn't on the same thought processes as he was. So his idea of punishment is putting the child in there with his mother."

"If the bastard wasn't already dead, I think I'd kill him myself."

Elliot glanced sharply up at Olivia. He had come downstairs a little earlier when Josh had started to calm down.

"I think we're all in agreement there," Munch finally said.

"How's he doing?" Fin asked, gesturing to the little boy in Olivia's arms.

"He's calmed down a bit. I don't think we should question him anymore today though," Olivia murmured.

"Is that the cop or the foster parent talking?" Cragen asked quietly.

Olivia's eyes met his. "Both."

Cragen nodded. "Okay. Our next move is to get Larry Morgan in here. And Leah Watson. See if they can explain why there were at that house."

* * *

Judge Mary Clark leant back on her chair. "Interesting."

"So can you help?" Casey asked.

Mary smiled. "Casey, I want you to answer me two questions. Honestly."

"Okay."

"Professionally, what do you think of this case?"

"Although Detective Benson is single and works in a demanding job, she's the only person the minor will communicate with. He feels safe with her, she has support from close friends and her boss, and the minor has access to everything he needs."

"And personally?"

"Personally, I think Joshua and Olivia are good for each other."

"And…" Mary watched her friend carefully.

"This is the first time I've been asked to do anything as a personal favor for one of them."

"You feel like you're being accepted."

Casey nodded.

"Well, the answer seems pretty simple to me."

Casey looked at her warily.

"Don't look so worried, Casey." Mary smiled. "I'm going to go bat for Detective Benson."


	10. 10

Part 10 

Olivia tucked Joshua up in the kiddie bed she had bought him. It was in her room, on the other side. Joshua was more comfortable having her near him. She brushed a lock of hair from his face and smiled at him.

"I'm really proud of you," she said. "You did really well today."

Joshua looked up at her, his arms reaching out for a hug.

Olivia obliged him, leaning down and giving him a big hug. When they pulled apart, Olivia looked down at him.

And knew.

She took a deep breath. "Okay. I'm going to go and clean up, and then I'll be in soon."

"'Kay."

Olivia smiled and kissed him on the forehead. "Try and get some rest." She got up, turning off the light and pushing her door to.

* * *

Olivia had just finished pouring herself a glass of wine when she heard a knock at the door. Glancing towards her room where Joshua slept, she got up and went to answer it.

"Hi." Elliot smiled at her.

"I thought I'd be seeing you," Olivia smiled back, opening the door wider so he could come in.

"Really?" he asked, hanging up his coat.

"After today. You know, coming to check up on me."

"You don't need me to check up on you. Everything you need to wind down is asleep in that room," Elliot pointed to where Joshua was sleeping.

Olivia nodded. "I put him to sleep. And I just knew."

"Knew what?"

"I can't lose him."

"What makes you think that will happen?"

Olivia glanced at him. "I'm single. I work a job with huge hours. He's sleeping on the floor of my bedroom."

"In a kid's bed." Elliot sat down on the couch next to her. "You also have a great support system. Your boss is going to help you out. Casey got Mary Clark to represent you in Family Court. Munch and Fin are always on hand, although I'm not sure anyone would want Munch as a babysitter. And for better or worse…you've got me."

Olivia's head jerked up at the choice of words in his final phrase. "I've got you?"

"I promise. I'll be there for you in this every step of the way." His eyes locked onto hers. "You should know that by now."

She smiled slightly. "Maybe sometimes I just need reminding."

"I'll keep that in mind then."

They were quiet for a few minutes, just sitting there. Elliot's hand gently moved to rest on her cheek. Olivia's eyes closed momentarily, letting the warmth of his hand heat her skin.

When they opened again, she found him watching her.

"Don't you dare do this out of pity, Stabler. Or to help me keep Josh."

"It's not about that, Liv. You know that."

She nodded. "I know."

He leant forward and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. As he pulled back to see her reaction, Olivia's arms went around his neck, pulling him back for another kiss.

The kiss deepened slightly, as they tentatively started to touch and taste each other.

This time, when they parted, they looked at each other.

"Definitely should have done that a long time ago," Elliot finally said.

Olivia grinned. "I agree." She kissed him gently again. "I hate to do this…"

"I was going to say it myself." He smiled. "Joshua is the most important thing right now. Besides, after the day you've had, you need to sleep."

"We're definitely going to explore this some more though," Olivia assured him, her hand resting on his chest.

"You can bet on it," Elliot nodded.

They stood up and Olivia walked him to the door. Before he left, Elliot turned around and smiled at her.

"Remember one thing for me, okay?"

She nodded.

He leant over, whispering in her ear. "I love you, Olivia Benson. And I am here for you. All the way." Elliot pressed a quick kiss to her cheek, and headed out.

A broad smile on her face, Olivia closed and locked the door. She went into her bedroom, checking on Joshua, who was fast asleep. Gathering her nightclothes, she headed into the bathroom to prepare for bed.

When she finally did fall asleep, it was a long deep sleep, preparing her for the harrowing events of the next day.

* * *

"You lied to us, Leah," Olivia said, folding her arms.

The woman looked up to her. "What are you talking about?"

"That DNA swab we took from you? It matched to some DNA we found on a bedsheet in Eddie Master's home."

Elliot looked at her. "Want to know who else's DNA was on there?" He threw the report in front of her. "Eddie Emerson, Larry Morgan, a convicted pedophile and a couple of women. Oh, and Joshua Emerson."

"So Eddie and I had sex. Big deal."

"It is a big deal, Leah," Olivia assured her. "You see, Eddie is dead. Andrea is dead. You were banging Eddie and Andrea got better modeling jobs than you. There's motive."

"I didn't kill Andrea. And I didn't kill Eddie."

"Why did you deny sleeping with Eddie?"

"Because it's not something I'm proud of. The guy was a sleazebag."

"I bet I know why you did it," Olivia said.

"Oh yeah?"

"It was one way you could get one up on Andrea. Jealousy does interesting things, Leah."

"So it was out of spite. Big deal. Can I go now?"

"No," Elliot said quickly. "Tell us about Larry."

"What about him?"

"Did Eddie ask him to join you in bed one night?"

Leah drummed her fingers on the table.

"Come on, Leah. We'll find out one way or another."

Leah folded her arms. "Eddie was adventurous."

"We'll take that as a yes." Elliot finally sat down beside Olivia. "Was this before or after Andrea died?"

"After."

"So you, Larry and Eddie played."

Leah shrugged. "We had sex a couple of times. I wasn't really into it, so Larry didn't come back."

"What about the pedophile?"

"Who?"

"Mike Gorman," Olivia said, pushing the photo over the table.

Leah glanced at it. "Never seen him before."

"Did Eddie ever invite women over for you to have sex with?"

"Once or twice. Like I said, Eddie was adventurous."

"Did Eddie and Josh get on well?"

"The kid was weird. I never saw him that much when I was over there. Maybe Eddie gave him to a babysitter or something."

Olivia leant forward. "Was Joshua ever there when you were?"

"Once. He did something he wasn't supposed to."

Elliot and Olivia shared a glance. Maybe it had something to do with Joshua being pushed into the case with his mother.

"What for?" Elliot asked her.

Leah thought for a moment. "I don't know exactly."

"Leah, it's important," Olivia said. "It might be able to help us work out what happened to Joshua."

Leah glanced at her. "I didn't hurt him."

"I know," Olivia assured her. "But we need you to tell us exactly what you heard that night."

Leah thought again. "Eddie and I were in the bedroom, when I heard the kid yell. Kept yelling 'wake up'. Eddie got up and told me to stay in the room. Not like I wanted to go anywhere anyhow. It had been a long day, I'd been on my feet…" Catching the looks that Elliot and Olivia were giving her, she rolled her eyes. "Anyway, Eddie disappeared. Then all I heard was him asking the kid how he'd like to be woken up when he was sleeping, and that he had to learn exactly what it was like for his Mommy."

"Didn't you think that was weird?" Elliot asked her.

"What?"

"That he was talking about how Andrea felt."

Leah shrugged. "I thought it was some kind of parent thing."

* * *

"So?" Cragen asked Olivia and Elliot.

"I think after Leah said no to extra guys in the bed, Eddie went elsewhere," Elliot replied.

"And now we know what happened down in that basement to make Eddie lock Joshua in the case," Huang said.

"Munch and Fin have been on the lookout for Larry Morgan. Bastard knows he's guilty of something and he's in the wind," Cragen informed them.

"Great," Olivia muttered.

Casey came into the room. "Olivia? You and Josh ready?"

"What? Now?"

Casey nodded. "Judge Clark got you an early appointment. Let's go."

"Go," Cragen told her. "We'll keep Watson on ice and keep an eye out for Morgan." He smiled. "Good luck."

Elliot glanced at her. "I'll come help you get Josh."

* * *

Olivia helped Josh pack up his crayons.

"I wish I could come with you," Elliot murmured.

She looked up at him, a small smile on her face. "I know. But I need you here to find out who helped hurt Josh."

"I'm going to give you a kiss good luck."

Olivia nodded. "Please."

He leant over and kissed her gently. Then he knelt down to Josh's height. "You be good for Liv, okay?"

Joshua nodded and didn't protest when Elliot gave him a warm hug.

With one last glance at Elliot, Olivia took Joshua's hand and headed off out of the room and down to Family Court with Casey.


	11. 11

Part 11 

"And what do we have on the agenda today? I'm sure it's important if you wrangled your way into the appointment book, Mary." Judge Maria Henckel stared down at the group.

Mary Clark stood, a smile on her face. "We're doing the best we can to keep this young man safe," she replied, gesturing to Joshua. "And naturally, we want to do it legally."

Olivia felt physically sick. She sat next to Mary, her heart in her throat.

Joshua sat behind her, next to Casey. Every so often, he'd reach forward, resting his hand on Olivia's back.

It comforted her.

"I've read up on it," Judge Henckel said. "Detective Benson wants to be a foster parent for the minor."

"Yes, your honor," Mary said.

"Detective Benson is investigating the death of his father." Judge Henckel peered over her glasses. "Some would say she's biased."

"None so far, your honor," Mary replied. "As you can see in the case file, Detective Benson would hardly be biased in favor of the deceased."

"Yes, I'm in agreeance there." Judge Henckel looked up. "Detective Benson is a single woman, lives by herself and is a police officer with a hectic schedule." She sat back. "Tell me why I should let her keep this minor in her care."

"Your honor, Joshua Emerson has been to hell and back. The only person he will communicate with, without coercion is Detective Benson. The only person he trusts is Detective Benson. For him to communicate or trust others, he looks to Detective Benson for guidance. She has been taking care of him since he was discovered cowering in a cupboard after his father was murdered. She has an excellent support system and her superior, Captain Cragen, is amenable to her new role. Joshua has access to one of the finest psychiatrists in the field."

"Yes, I see Dr Huang's report and recommendation. I also see Captain Cragen's report." Judge Henckel looked down at Joshua. "I think I would like to hear from Joshua."

Olivia shifted uncomfortably. Every part of her wanted to avoid this.

"Your honor," Mary began.

"I want to hear from the minor," Judge Henckel said. "Fifteen minutes recess."

* * *

"You cannot do this to him," Olivia said.

"Olivia," Casey began.

"No." Olivia got up, watching Joshua push his toy car on the floor. "He's been through so much in his life…does he really need to relive it again?"

"Judge Henckel won't be asking him questions about his father, or about what happened in that house," Mary assured her. "Her questions are probably going to be about you, and whether you take care of him or not."

"He's going to be terrified," Olivia said, glancing at him again.

"If he knows you're still in the room, and he can see you, he'll feel safe," Casey reminded her. "You know how this procedure works. She won't terrorize him."

Olivia bit her lip and looked at Joshua. "Can I talk to him before we go back?"

Mary nodded. "Sure. Casey and I will be down the hall if you need us."

Olivia watched them go and then she sat down next to Josh on the floor.

He looked over at her, and with all the innocence of a child who hadn't seen the horrors he had, handed her a car. "Play."

Olivia smiled broadly at him, taking the car. "Sure."

The two drove the cars around the floor for a few minutes.

"Joshua, you know how we were just in court?"

Josh nodded his head.

"Well, we need to go back in there again."

"Liv too?"

"Me too," she assured him. "Josh, you remember that seat next to the judge?"

He nodded.

"Well, when we go back in, I need you to sit up there for me. The judge wants to ask you about me."

"Love my 'Livia."

Olivia held out her arms and Joshua crawled into her lap. She hugged him close. "I love you too, Josh."

* * *

Olivia bit her lip as she watched Joshua go up and sit in the witness chair. She smiled reassuringly at him as he looked fearfully back at her.

"Hello, Joshua," Judge Henckel said, smiling at the little boy.

Joshua glanced up at the judge, and then his eyes went back to Olivia.

"Joshua, I wanted to ask you some questions about Detective Benson. Is that alright?"

Joshua glanced at the judge and back at Olivia, who nodded at him. Josh turned back to the judge and nodded.

Judge Henckel looked over at Mary Clark and Olivia. Mary stood up.

"Your honor, if I may?"

"Approach the bench."

Mary walked over to Judge Henckel. "Your honor, Joshua is feeling very uncomfortable and nervous. Perhaps if Detective Benson could sit with him, maybe even tell him that it's okay to answer your questions aloud?"

Judge Henckel glanced at Olivia, whose eyes were trained on Josh. "Very well. But any prompting and we stop."

Mary nodded. "Thank you, your honor."

A few moments later, Olivia stood beside the witness box, gently reassuring Joshua. "Josh, it's really important for you to answer the judge's questions out loud, okay?" She smiled, her hand on his shoulder. "Okay?"

"'Kay, Livia."

Judge Henckel waited a moment before beginning. "Joshua, how old are you?"

There was silence for a moment as Josh turned to Olivia for reassurance. When she smiled at him, he turned back to the judge. "Four."

"Do you like living with Detective Benson?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Love my 'Livia."

"Why else, Joshua?"

"Stays. Talkies."

"Talkies?" Judge Henckel asked.

Mary Clark stood up. "Your honor, Joshua is very frightened if he finds Detective Benson is not there. Detective Stabler, Detective Benson's partner, bought her a baby monitor, so that she is always there if he needs her."

Judge Henckel nodded and turned back to Joshua. "Do you and Detective Benson do things together?"

"Watch TV. Play cars. Hug."

Judge Henckel nodded. "Alright. You may step down now, Joshua."

Josh got out from the box and immediately put his arms out to Olivia. She smiled lifting him up in her arms and cuddling him. "You did so well," she whispered in his ear. "I'm so proud of you."

"I'm going to think this through overnight," Judge Henckel decided. "I shall give my verdict in the morning. Adjourned."

* * *

"What do you think?" Munch asked, as Casey, Olivia, Fin, Elliot and Cragen sat in the squad room.

"Honestly?" Casey glanced at Olivia, and then at Josh, who was driving his car across Olivia's desk. "I think she's in with a chance. The way she interacted with Joshua today in that courtroom, and got him to answer the judge's questions, I think it impressed Judge Henckel."

"That's good news," Elliot told Olivia.

She smiled, looking at Joshua. "Yeah."

"Hey Josh, check this out," Fin said, bringing over something from his locker. It was a mat about the size of Olivia's desk that had pictures of a town with roads and places on it. "You can put this down and drive your car over it. My kid used to love it."

Joshua's eyes widened and he looked at the mat, holding his car over the top. Then he stopped and pulled back, glancing at Olivia.

"It's okay," Olivia smiled at him. "It's a present for Fin. You don't have to do anything except say thank you. You're allowed to play with it."

Josh glanced up at Fin. "Thank you." Then with a small smile on his face, he got down on his knees and started driving his car over the mat.

Olivia turned to Fin. "Thanks. I really appreciate it. Anything that makes him smile is important."

"I can see he likes playing with cars, and it was just sitting around in the attic," Fin explained. "No reason why another kid can't use it."

Joshua continued driving his car over the mat.

"I better get going," Casey said. "I have trial tomorrow."

"Thanks for all your help," Olivia said, "I really appreciate it."

"Thank me when you get him," Casey smiled, saying goodnight and leaving.

"Any news on Morgan?" Cragen asked.

Fin shook his head. "We put an APB out on his vehicle, and on him. There are pictures at every bus and train station, and at the airport. No one's seen him."

"Which means he's either completely skipped or he's still in town," Munch added.

"We've got people keeping an eye on Leah Watson, in case he goes there, or she tries to skip," Elliot said. "She knows more about this than she's telling us."

"We should also start talking to Joshua," Huang suggested.

Olivia's head jerked up to look at him. "What?"

"There is no one else that can give us more information about everything that went on in that house but Joshua," Huang replied.

"He's traumatized," Olivia pointed out.

"This makes his memory even better. He'll remember every minute detail about what happened in that house. It may be our best chance to help him."

"Help him by torturing him?"

"Olivia, everything that's in his mind is going to consume him. He's getting a lot of support and love from you, and that's one of the best things he can get. But he also needs to tell someone about what happened to him."

"He can tell me," Olivia replied. "He'll tell me when he's ready."

Elliot walked over to Huang. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

Huang glanced at Olivia and Joshua for another moment, before nodding and following Elliot out.


	12. 12

Part 12 

"Give her time," Elliot said to Huang, when they were in the hallway and out of everyone's earshot.

"Pardon?"

"Liv. Give her time. She's new to this parenting gig. She's nervous and she's scared. Let her get over this first hurdle in family court. Give her a bit of space and she'll start thinking about it."

"This isn't just about Olivia, Elliot. It's about Joshua."

"I know. But Joshua relies on Olivia so much. They're really close. If Olivia is upset, Joshua is upset and vice versa. If we give Olivia a little more time to get used to the shrink idea, maybe Joshua will be a bit more open to it."

"He will have to see someone, Elliot. He's been through a lot."

Elliot looked back towards the squad room. "So has Olivia."

* * *

Olivia tucked Joshua into bed, well aware this could be the last time she did it. She sat herself beside his bed, smiling down at him.

"Livia sad."

She looked down at him, surprise in her eyes. "What do you mean?"

Joshua reached up, his small fingers tracing her lips. "Sad."

"I'm just a little bit nervous about tomorrow. But everything is going to be okay," Olivia assured him.

Joshua held his arms out. "Love Livia."

"I love you, too," she replied, hugging him.

When he lay back down, she tucked him in, pressing a kiss to his forehead. Her hand gently caressed his cheek, before brushing some of his hair away from his face. Olivia put Ruggles into Joshua's arms.

"Sleep well," she whispered.

Dimming the light, she went into the living room and sat in her favorite chair. She curled up, taking deep breaths.

"Get a grip, Benson."

Olivia didn't want to think about Judge Henckel's ruling. She bit her lip, willing herself not to cry.

When she heard the doorbell ring, Olivia ignored the couple of tears that had slipped down the side of her cheeks. She answered it, a smile on her face when she saw who was on the other side.

"Hi."

"Hi, back," Elliot smiled. "I thought you might like some company tonight."

Olivia nodded and closed the door behind him. "Thanks."

"Is Joshua asleep?"

"I think so. I just tucked him in."

Elliot led her over to the couch. He sat down and then took her in his arms. "Whatever you want, okay, Olivia? I'm happy to sit here all night and hug you."

She looked up at him. "Really?"

"I know tonight is going to be tough for you, Liv. This whole thing is tough."

Olivia rested against him. "Elliot?"

"Mhm?" Elliot's fingers gently ran through her hair.

"I love you."

He grinned, kissing the top of her head. "Love you, too."

* * *

Cragen looked up as Olivia, Joshua and Elliot came into the Squad Room. "You two look exhausted."

"Couldn't sleep," Olivia finally answered.

"They found Larry Morgan."

Elliot's eyes lit up. "Where is he?"

"He floated up the river."

Olivia's eyes widened. "He's dead?"

Cragen nodded. "Munch and Fin are down at autopsy now."

"Damn it," Elliot growled. "Do we know how long he's been in the water?"

"Not yet. They should find that out at autopsy. Elliot, I want you to get Leah Watson in here. Olivia, you and Joshua have a court date." He smiled warmly at her. "Good luck."

Cragen headed back into his office and Elliot glanced at Olivia and Joshua.

"I don't know what to say."

Olivia smiled at him. "Don't say anything. Just…"

"I love you," Elliot whispered.

"I love you back," she replied, hugging Joshua tight, then they headed down to Family Court.

* * *

"So…how long has the son of a bitch been dead?" Fin asked, peering at the slightly wrinkled body of Larry Morgan.

Melinda Warner gave him a look. "This particular son of a bitch has been dead two days, give or take."

"How distinctly unhelpful of him," Munch commented. "What killed him?"

"Blunt force trauma to the head. Cylindrical object."

"Pipe?"

"Maybe. Got any ideas?"

Fin shook his head. "We know about as much as you do."

Melinda just looked at them.

"Always less," Munch told her.

"Water has washed away most of the evidence, but we did find some skin under his nails. I sent them over to the lab, who'll run them against your list of current suspects."

"So he was murdered," Fin said to Munch.

"Unless he gave himself a fatal blow and then tossed himself in a river, then yes, he was murdered," Melinda told them.

* * *

Judge Henckel sat back in her chair. "Detective Benson, there are a lot of reasons why I shouldn't give you foster care privileges of this child. You have a demanding job that can take you away at odd hours. You are a single woman. You've never had children before." She leant forward, watching as Joshua's small hand started stroking the back of Olivia's neck again. "And when I first talked to you, I was thinking this was a case of a cop getting too close to a child that they rescued. However…this is not a normal case. You have a very good support team, as well as documentation from professionals. When Joshua was on the stand, you were the only person that could communicate with him and put him at ease." She took a deep breath. "Therefore, I am granting custody of the minor to Detective Benson. We will start with a trial period of 6 months, when you will be visited periodically by Department of Child Services. Joshua will have regular visits with a psychiatrist. We will reconvene in 6 months for progress reports." Judge Henckel hit the gavel. "We're adjourned."

* * *

Olivia's arms were tight around Joshua as she hugged him in the hallway of Family Court.

"Thank you," she said, looking up at Casey and Mary Clark.

Mary smiled. "I like to help out every once in a while." She picked up her bag. "Take care, Olivia. You too, Joshua."

* * *

Elliot looked up from his desk as Olivia, Casey and Joshua returned to the squad room.

"So?"

Fin, Munch and Cragen also looked eager for news.

"He's staying with me," Olivia smiled.

Congratulations were handed out to the two of them.

Joshua cuddled closer to Olivia, whispering to her the first words he'd said since the end of the hearing. "Love you, Livia."

"Love you, too," she whispered back.


	13. 13

Part 13 

Leah sat down opposite Elliot and Olivia, looking confused.

"I'm not sure why I'm here," she murmured.

"Larry Morgan is dead," Elliot told her. "His body washed up for two teenagers to find."

Leah put her hand over her mouth. "That's awful!"

"You know, Leah, things are getting mighty strange," Olivia said, leaning forward and clasping her hands together. "All the major players in this case keep dying on us…except you."

"Joshua's not dead, is he?" Leah asked, eyes wide.

"Joshua is safe," Olivia said quickly.

"So tell us, Leah, how do you manage to stay alive?" Elliot asked.

"Just lucky, I guess," she said, shrugging.

"Leah, we know you slept with Eddie. We know you slept with Larry. We know you heard Eddie yelling at Joshua. It'd be better for you if you told us what happened before Joshua does," Olivia said.

"He's started talking again?"

"That scare you?" Elliot commented.

Leah folded her arms. "No. Of course not."

"Start talking, Leah. We want the truth."

Leah sighed. "I don't want to get anyone else in trouble."

"At the rate you're going, YOU could be the one getting in trouble," Elliot warned her.

Leah looked from Elliot to Olivia and then back to Elliot again. She stood up and stared at the window. "Colin killed Larry."

Olivia's eyes bugged open. "Colin Hamilton? The one that used to cover up Andrea's bruises?"

Leah nodded. "I wasn't supposed to find out, but I did."

"What about Eddie?" Elliot pressed. "Who killed Eddie?"

Leah shrugged. "I don't know. I wasn't there."

* * *

Huang glanced in at Leah, when Elliot and Olivia came out, joining Casey and Cragen in the room.

"It doesn't fit," Huang commented.

"What doesn't fit?" Casey asked. "She just gave us Larry's murderer. Pick him up."

"Why would Colin want to kill Larry?" Huang asked. "They didn't associate with each other a lot back then, and they certainly don't now. There's no reason for Colin to kill Larry."

"Either way, I'd like to make sure," Cragen said. "Munch and Fin will go pick him up."

"I better go get Josh some dinner," Olivia murmured. "It looks like it's going to be a long night."

* * *

Elliot leant against the wall as Olivia perused the menu at the burger take-out. Olivia caught him looking at her, and she smiled slightly. "What?"

"You're beautiful," he murmured.

Self-consciously she tucked some hair behind her ear. "You're easy on the eyes yourself, Stabler."

He stole up behind her, his arms going around her waist. "I haven't congratulated you properly for getting to keep Josh."

Olivia's eyes slipped closed, the feel of being pressed against him making her body tingle. "Elliot…anyone could see…"

He pressed a quick kiss to her cheek and released her, standing against the wall again.

Olivia swallowed the lump in her throat and quickly ordered. Upon hearing the order would take about thirty minutes to put together, she walked outside, making sure her bemused partner was following her.

"Where are we going?" he asked, as she rounded the corner to the alley.

"Kiss me," she murmured.

Elliot looked surprised. "What?"

She smiled slightly at him. "I've wanted you to do it all day. In the precinct, you were a partner, a colleague. You gave your congratulations like everyone else. Out here you're different; it's just Elliot and Olivia. And I want you to kiss me."

Elliot stepped closer to her, his body brushing against hers. He leaned forward and cupped her face with his hands. "I love you, Olivia."

Then his lips met hers.

Olivia's eyes closed as her arms slipped around his neck, allowing herself to relax into the kiss. Elliot's fingers caressed her cheek gently before slipping down her body to rest around her waist. She shivered as his tongue caressed the seam of her lips, before slowly sliding inside to caress her mouth.

Olivia whimpered and arched closer, her body responding to the heat his kiss generated. She could feel the ache start to curl in her belly, and Elliot's answering erection hardening against her thigh.

Their tongues met and entwined, caressing and tasting each other.

"Oh, god," Olivia whispered, resting her head on Elliot's shoulder when the kiss ended.

"Was that more the congratulations you were looking for?" Elliot asked, his voice husky.

She nodded slowly. "Definitely."

His thumb ran across her lips. "We better get back and get our food. Joshua will be hungry."

Olivia smiled and pressed a kiss to his thumb. "Let's go."

* * *

When Olivia and Elliot returned, Fin and Munch were sitting at their desks. Cragen was in his office and Joshua was busy coloring at Olivia's desk.

"No sign of Hamilton?" Elliot asked.

"Oh, he's in there," Fin said, gesturing towards the interrogation room.

"Why isn't anyone talking to him?" Olivia asked, as she knelt beside Joshua.

"He wants a 'moment' to decide if he wants a lawyer," Munch replied, rolling his eyes.

"He seem upset when you brought him in?"

Fin shook his head. "It was almost as if he was expecting it. He did say there was an explanation for everything, though."

"As they all do," Munch added.

Olivia unwrapped Joshua's dinner and placed it on her desk with a glass of milk she had swiped from the coffee area. "Hungry, big guy?"

Joshua nodded, immediately starting on his burger. Olivia smiled, ruffling his hair before grabbing another chair and sitting next to him, unwrapping her dinner. Elliot had retrieved the captain, telling him that they had grabbed his dinner as well.

"No word from Hamilton?" Cragen asked, when he came out.

"Not yet," Munch replied. "Huang's just watching him from the outside. Frankly, I'd like to have my dinner before we go bother him."

Huang came out at that moment, just in time to hear Munch's comment. "I think Olivia should be in there."

Olivia looked up from where she ate with Josh. "Why?"

"He's drawn to women."

"Aren't most of the male species?" Elliot asked.

"This is different," Huang explained. "He feels safer with women. He understands them and he feels more comfortable around them."

Olivia shrugged. "I'm more than happy to nail him for murder."

Joshua slurped on his juice, his eyes watching Olivia carefully. He put his juice box down and leant over, kissing her gently on the cheek. Then he picked up his picture and showed it to her.

Olivia smiled when she saw the picture. She recognized the figure of Josh, with a crayon version of her hugging him. Standing next to her was Elliot, and Cragen, Fin, Munch, Huang and Casey all made appearances.

"This is great, Josh," she smiled, hugging him. "I love it."

The phone rang and Cragen answered it. "That's Warner. She wants to talk about Morgan's body."

* * *

"You're looking for two perps."

"Huh?" Elliot's eyes widened. "Are you sure?"

Melinda Warner sent him a look.

"Sorry. Go on."

"Eddie Masters died by stabbing, and there was a lot of rage in the murder." Melinda walked over beside Larry Morgan's body, and pulled back the sheet. "Larry Morgan died of blunt force trauma. No overkill."

"Do we know what he was struck with?"

"Something like a baseball bat, or a piece of pipe. He wasn't struck too many times, but enough times to kill him."

"CSU says that the original crime scene was his apartment."

Melinda nodded. "The amount of blood they found supports the theory of the number of blows. Two, maybe three blows."

"First one fatal?"

"No." Melinda pointed to a mark on the side of his head. "First one hit here. It would have hurt like hell, but it didn't cause the two subdural hematomas. Those were courtesy of blow two and three."

"Any hairs or fibers…anything that might indicate who our perp might be?" Elliot asked.

"Nothing at all. Just a few blows with the bat. Maybe CSU will find something for you at the crime scene."

Munch and Fin had tagged another case, so Elliot and Olivia headed over to the lab on their own, seeing if there was anything that CSU could provide to get more information from Colin Hamilton.

"Unfortunately, I don't have information for you that specifies the name Colin Hamilton, but I do have some interest anomalies of the crime scene for you."

"Such as?"

"Dog hairs."

"Does Morgan have a dog?"

The technician shook his head. "This hair is from a small dog. A terrier. And Morgan doesn't have a dog."

Elliot glanced at Olivia. "Shall we go see if Colin does?"

TBC 


	14. Chapter 14

Part 14 

"It's nice of you to talk to us without a lawyer, Colin," Olivia said, sitting down across from Colin Hamilton. "For what it's worth, I think you made the right decision."

"I killed Larry Morgan."

"So we heard," Elliot said, leaning against the wall. "And Eddie Masters?"

"What?"

"You killed Eddie Masters, too, right?"

"No! God, no. I only killed Larry because Leah told me to."

"What?" Elliot said.

"Leah said that Larry was fooling around with the kid. She told me that the police didn't care, and the only way to save the kid was to get rid of Larry." Colin started wringing his hands. "I kind of know what the kid was going through. No one did anything for me either, and I wanted to help."

"It just made things easier because it was Andrea Master's kid, right?" Olivia said.

Colin nodded. "Andrea went through so much with what happened between her and Eddie. And I know how much she adored her son. I wasn't going to let her down by letting anything happen to him."

Elliot and Olivia exchanged looks.

"I did it for the boy. And for Andrea. No one did it for me." Colin sighed and held out his hands, wrists together. "Arrest me."

* * *

"Interesting…" Huang said, as Olivia and Elliot exited the interrogation room.

"What is?" Olivia asked.

"His admission. Not only does he admit his guilt, but he also explains why." Huang turned to the detectives and Cragen. "I bet if you pulled files from his childhood, you might find some allegations of child abuse, but no convictions."

"So if Colin killed Larry…who killed Eddie?" Elliot mused.

The phone in the precinct rang and Olivia answered it.

"Special Victims."

"Hey, Olivia. Munch and I are at Hamilton's apartment. No dog. But there is one mean-looking fish," Fin told her.

Olivia smirked. "Thanks, Fin. Hamilton just said Leah Watson told him to kill Larry."

"This case is starting to get out of control."

"No dog," Olivia informed the others, when she and Fin had finished on the phone.

"Doesn't mean it wasn't him. Just means that Leah might have been there, too," Cragen said. "Has anyone checked to see if she has a dog?"

"Fin and Munch are going to bring her in. They'll check while they're there."

"If this guy killed her," Cragen said, gesturing to the interrogation room, "then I want exact details. Only exact details will convict him."

Elliot and Olivia nodded. Before they could move, a small crackle came through on the baby monitor.

"'Livia?"

She picked it up. "Hey, Josh, is everything okay?"

His voice became very hushed. "Gotta go to bathroom."

Olivia tried to cover a smile. She had made him a promise not to go anywhere without telling her.

Cragen chuckled. "I'll take him. You go back in there and talk to Colin."

"Thanks, Captain," Olivia said gratefully. She said goodbye to Josh and then she and Elliot reentered the interrogation room.

* * *

"Leah came to my home. She told me that Larry was a child molester. I knew he'd been accused of fooling around with some of the girls at the modeling agency, but I didn't know he was a pedophile. Leah said that he was interfering with Joshua and that she'd seen it happen. She said she would have told the police, but Larry had threatened her. She said they hadn't cared the first time she told them anyway. Leah said all I had to do was go into the house and hit him on the head with a baseball bat."

"Colin, did Leah know about what happened to you as a child?"

Colin shifted. "Leah and I…we…"

"You dated?" Elliot finished.

"Very briefly," Colin assured them. "It wasn't long after Andrea had died. Leah was very upset and I was very upset."

Olivia watched Colin carefully. "Were you and Andrea lovers?"

Colin's eyes widened. "What? No! She was married."

"And you respect that kind of commitment," Elliot replied.

"Yes. I knew that Eddie was no good for her, and we all tried to get her to leave him, but she didn't. And it would be against my morals to have committed adultery."

"But not to commit murder?"

Colin folded his arms. "In my opinion, I did the world a favor." He leant forward. "Particularly all the children that Larry molested."

* * *

Joshua watched carefully as Munch rummaged around in his desk drawer. His finger was held up in the air, and Fin just shook his head.

"What? I need antiseptic! Disinfectant!"

"That little dog barely touched you."

Olivia and Elliot came into the room.

"What happened?" Elliot asked.

"Owie," Joshua said, pointing at Munch's finger.

Olivia smiled, picking the little boy up and hugging him. "Were you good for Captain Cragen?"

Joshua nodded. "I'm good."

Olivia pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

"I'm probably going to regret asking this," Cragen began, as he walked in, "but what happened, Munch?"

"Leah Watson DOES have a dog," Munch growled. "It bit me and was practically hanging off my finger!"

"What kind of dog?" Elliot asked.

"Little terrier mop like thing," Fin said. "We took the sample of the hair down to Trace. I didn't let the dog-lover here skin the dog."

Joshua tugged on Olivia's shirtsleeve.

"What is it, sweetheart?" she asked, turning to him.

He leant up to whisper in her ear, "One day, I would like a dog."

Olivia smiled. "We'll see about that."

"Did you bring Leah in?" Cragen asked.

Munch nodded. "Yeah. She's pissed as hell too."

Olivia glanced up at Elliot. "Looks like this could be fun."

* * *

"I don't know why you people keep calling me in. If you could just get all your questions over and done with at once, it would save a lot of inconvenience for everyone."

Olivia and Elliot exchanged looks. This was certainly a personality change from the woman who had been so eager to help them.

"You're helping us with our inquiries," Olivia replied. "It's very important."

"Fine. What can I do for you this time?"

"Colin Hamilton confessed to murdering Larry Morgan."

Leah's eyes went wide. "Really?"

They both watched her reaction, noting it was put on.

"He said you told him to," Elliot pushed.

"The man has a mind of his own. There's no reason he should say something like that."

"Unless you did," Olivia replied.

Leah glanced suspiciously between the two. "I'm starting to think I need a lawyer. Do I need a lawyer, detectives?"

"That's up to you," Elliot said. "Colin talked without one."

"And of course, we all know how fortunate a situation he's in," Leah shot back. She stood up, picking up her purse. "I'm going to engage the services of an attorney. If and when you want to see me again, you can consult with the attorney. Good day, detectives." She paused at the door, a small smile playing on her lips. "Tell Colin I said hi." Before she left, her eyes zeroed in on Olivia. "How is Joshua?"

Olivia's eyes flashed. "Fine."

"That's wonderful. Tell him I said hello, too. I'm sure he remembers me." With that, she was gone.

"Wouldn't you like to just…" Olivia wrung her hands together.

Elliot smirked, resting a hand on her back. "Yes, I would. But for now, we're going to build up more evidence against her so that Novak can put her behind bars."  
He felt her relax at his touch and suggestion.

"Yeah," she breathed. "I'll…it's getting late. I'll take Josh home." Olivia turned to him, glad they were still alone in the room. "Are you…what are you doing tonight?"

His hand went to her arm. "What would you like me to do, Liv?"

"You could…come over, if you want. I was thinking of looking for some apartments…somewhere for me and Josh to live. It'd be nice to have some company when he's asleep."

"I'll meet you there," Elliot promised.


	15. Chapter 15

Part 15 

Olivia tucked Joshua into his bed. "You had a big day today."

"Livia?"

"What is it, sweetheart?" she asked, brushing some hair from his face.

"I tell."

"What do you mean?"

"About bad people. I tell you." He yawned. "'morrow."

Her eyes widened momentarily, but she didn't want to upset him. Pressing a kiss to his forehead, she made sure the blankets were comfortable. "Okay, Josh. Sleep well."

The little boy hugged her tight and she kissed him once more before turning the lights off, leaving the little nightlight that she had recently bought for him, on.

Olivia walked out into the living room, where she smiled as she saw Elliot waiting for her on the couch with the real estate pages and a glass of wine.

"Did he go to sleep okay?"

Olivia nodded, sitting down. "He told me that tomorrow he's going to tell me about the bad people."

Elliot's eyes widened. "He did?"

"Yeah. I told him that was okay and to sleep well."

"Should we call Huang and tell him?"

"We can tell him tomorrow," Olivia replied. "Right now, I just want to spend some time with me being Olivia and you being Elliot, and us picking out a place together." Her eyes widened when she realized what she had said. "I mean…"

Elliot rested his hand on her arm. "Hey, it's okay. I understand. When we're ready to take that step, we'll take it."

Olivia leant over, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek. "Thank you."

Elliot put his arm around her and she snuggled closer, resting against him. "Shall we look through the real estate?"

"Sounds good," Olivia agreed.

* * *

A few hours later, Joshua woke up, needing to go to the bathroom. He got up, putting on the slippers shaped like puppies that Olivia had found, and he tucked Ruggles back into his bed.

"Be right back," he whispered to his friend. He wandered into Olivia's bathroom, and when he had finished, he pushed the little stool Elliot had found him, nearer to the sink so he could wash his hands.

As he walked back into the bedroom, he glanced at the bed, noting Olivia wasn't there yet. He tiptoed out to the lounge room, seeing the top of Elliot's head over the couch. Joshua rounded the side of the couch and looked up.

Olivia was snuggled in Elliot's arms, and both of them were asleep. He hurried back to his bed and got Ruggles and a blanket. When he returned, he climbed up onto the couch next to Olivia, and spread the blanket across as much of everyone as he could. Then, with a yawn, he curled up to his Livia, and went to sleep.

* * *

Elliot woke first the next morning, a crick in his neck. He glanced beside him, smiling as he saw Olivia fast asleep in his arms. He grinned wider when he realized Joshua had tucked himself under Olivia's arm during the night.

Feeling Elliot move had stirred Olivia, and her sleepy eyes looked up at him.

"Hey," he whispered. Then he pointed at Josh.

Olivia looked down and grinned, pressing a gentle kiss to the boy's head. "He must have wondered why I didn't come to bed last night."

"Want me to carry him in?"

Olivia nodded. "I think I have a cramp."

Elliot pressed a gentle kiss to her lips, before gently extricating Josh and Ruggles from Olivia's arms. "I'll help you work it out in a minute."

She sent him a mischievous smile, and he grinned back, carrying Joshua into his bed.

When he returned, he joined her on the couch again, gently turning her so he could massage her shoulders.

"So good," Olivia moaned, her eyes slipping closed. "Did he go down okay?"

"Didn't even wake when I took him in," Elliot assured her. "But if you keep moaning like that I can't guarantee how long he'll stay asleep."

"Can't help it. Feels really good."

Elliot spread his legs and eased her back into his arms. She sighed in satisfaction, her back resting against his chest, her head leaning on his shoulder.

"Even better," she decided.

He grinned, pressing a kiss to her cheek. His arms went around her waist. "I like this."

"Me too." Olivia closed her eyes. "El?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to check out that house? With me and Joshua?"

Elliot's eyes went wide for a moment, and he was glad she couldn't see him. "Are you sure?"

Olivia shifted slightly in his arms. "You don't have to. I just thought…"

Elliot's hand rested on her arm. "I'd like that."

"Today's going to be hard," she finally said, relaxing again.

Elliot's fingers gently ran through her hair. "Yeah."

There was silence for a moment.

"I know you can do this, Liv. I know how attached to Josh you are, but I know you can do this."

She turned around in his arms, smiling slightly. Cupping his face in her hands, she leant forward, kissing him deeply.

"What was that for?" he asked, smiling back at her.

"Believing in me," Olivia replied. "I appreciate it."

"I've always believed in you, Liv." His thumb traced a path over her lips. "Always."

Their lips met again, and the kiss became deep. When it ended, Olivia sat in his lip, her arms around his neck as she rested against him.

"It'll be okay, Liv," he murmured, his hands on her back. "Promise."

* * *

"Did he say whether he wanted to talk to you alone?" Huang asked.

"He just said that he'd tell me about the bad people," Olivia replied. "He was tired. I didn't want to push him."

"We'll need to record it," Casey said. "If we fight hard enough, we could get it admitted. Then he won't need to testify."

"We're not talking about testifying," Olivia said quickly. "For the moment, he only promised to tell me. I'm not putting him up in front of the courtroom. It'll terrify him."

"We can talk about testifying later," Cragen said, noticing that Casey was going to argue. "Right now, we need to decide who's going to be in there."

"I think Olivia should go alone," Elliot said.

"I agree," Munch chimed in. "He trusts her and he said he was going to tell her. He didn't say anything about shrinks and ADA's."

Cragen turned to Huang. "That okay, doc?"

Huang paused for a moment, looking in where Joshua was playing with the toy dinosaur in the children's room. "I think, right now, he's only going to tell Olivia. If anyone else is in there, he might only tell some things or nothing at all."

"Olivia's his foster parent," Casey interjected. "How's that going to look on the report?"

"It's not a report at the moment!" Olivia shot back. "He wants to tell me what happened to him. The only reason I brought him here to talk to him was because I thought Huang would want to know. God, can't you think of anything but a trial!"

The room was quiet at Olivia's outburst, and Elliot's hand rested on her shoulder. "Liv," he murmured. "Let's go cool off."

"I'll go play with Josh," Munch said.

"I'm going too," Fin said, noting the looks passing between Cragen, Huang and Casey.

After Olivia and Elliot had exited, and Fin was trying to stop Munch from spinning conspiracy theories on dinosaurs, Cragen turned to Casey.

"I know the trial is important, but this is the first time the kid has agreed to say anything about what happened to him."

"If we want to avoid him from testifying or having to go over and over it, we have to be careful now," Casey explained. "No matter how hard it is."

Huang glanced at the little boy. "I think, after he's told it the first time, Joshua might be able to do it again. It might even be easier."

Cragen looked at him in surprise. "You think?"

"Up until now, Joshua hasn't had anyone to tell it to. He couldn't tell his father, or Larry Morgan, who were both the abusers. He couldn't tell his mother, because she was taken away from him. And if Leah Watson knew what was going on, he couldn't tell her either. The first person he's trusted and agreed to telling, is Olivia. Once he tells her, things might start to get easier."

* * *

"Liv…"

Olivia paced back and forth, saying nothing.

"Liv, we have to talk about this."

"I can't do this. What the hell was I thinking? I can't look after a kid! I'll just screw him up even more than he already is and…"

"Olivia!"

She turned to face him. "What?"

"Stop thinking like that. You took him in because you love him and because you two are good together. What you grew up with, what you dealt with has nothing to do with how you raise Josh. I know you can do this. Mary Clark and Casey knew you could. Munch, Fin and Cragen knew. And so did the judge." Elliot put his hands on her shoulders. "Josh needs you to do this."  
He got the desired effect when she looked up at him, furiously wiping at angry tears and nodding.

"That's my cop."

Olivia arched an eyebrow, turning to him. "You never called me that before."

Elliot grinned. "Doesn't mean I didn't always think it."


	16. Chapter 16

Part 16 

Olivia walked into the children's room, leaving Cragen, Casey, Huang and Elliot on the outside. Joshua turned solemnly to her.

"Munch say Fin is philly and Fin say Munch is jackass."

The two men turned to Olivia, both with toy dinosaurs in their hands and apologetic expressions on their faces.

"Actually, it was philistine," Munch corrected.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Okay you two children, out of here. Josh and I get some time together now."

Josh grinned with delight and when Olivia sat down, he crawled into her arms.

"Philistine," Munch muttered at Fin under his breath.

"Jackass," Fin supplied as they closed the door behind them.

* * *

"Here we go," Elliot breathed, watching the two in the room.

"Hey, Josh?" Olivia asked, sitting the little boy so that she could look into his eyes. "Do you remember last night?"

"We sleep on couch," Josh said. "You, me…"

"That's right," Olivia quickly butted in.

Munch watched curiously as Elliot let out a deep breath.

"Do you remember what happened before, Josh. What you told me?"

Joshua played with Olivia's badge and nodded. "I tell about bad people."

"That's right. Will you still tell me?"

Joshua nodded, snuggling closer to her.

* * *

Huang glanced at Elliot. "Get the photos of his mother, his father, Larry and Leah. Take them in and give them to Olivia. Joshua might find them helpful in explaining things."

Elliot nodded and quickly got the items.

* * *

Olivia looked up and smiled as Elliot came into the room. "Hey."

Elliot put the pictures down. "Huang thought you could use these."

Olivia glanced at them. "Thanks."

When Elliot had gone, Olivia laid the pictures on the table, like playing cards.

"Josh, we need your help. I need you to tell me about the bad people. Just like you said you would last night."

Joshua inched around in her lap, finally facing the pictures on the table. His little hand reached out and picked up the photo of Andrea. "Mommy."

"That's right, it's your mommy. She loved you very much."

He laid the card face down on the table. "Mommy gone."

"Who took her away, Josh?" Olivia asked.

Joshua picked up the photo of Eddie. "Bad man. Fight with Mommy all the time. Mommy tell me to go into my room. Loud noises and banging. Mommy always come in afterwards and hug me." He looked at the card with the picture of Andrea on it. "She not come."

"What happened then, Josh?"

"He come," Joshua said, putting the card with Eddie's photo on it back on the table. "He say Mommy not like me anymore. She not want stupid little piece of crap."

Olivia's eyes closed momentarily, unconsciously hugging Joshua tighter. "He was wrong, Josh."

"He show me Mommy. She's in a box and I'm not 'sposed to touch. She hurt. I want to make her feel better. He pull my arm and takes me to bed." Joshua looked down at his hands. "I have to earn my keep."

Olivia looked up towards the window that separated her from her colleagues.

* * *

Elliot saw the haunted look in her eyes and he wished he could go in there and hold both her and Josh. Comfort them, take the pain away.

Huang must have seen him look at her. "She needs to keep going. For as long as he does."

Elliot clenched and unclenched his fists, swallowing the lump in his throat. "No one better."

* * *

"Other people come." Joshua looked at the cards on the table. He picked up the one of Larry Morgan. "He come and hurt. Hurt real bad." Taking up the card of Eddie, he started using them as actors. Eddie's photo spoke first. "Only one I got! Don't screw him up!" Larry's photo spoke next. "On your knees, baby." Joshua threw the cards down. He curled up closer to Olivia.

Olivia hated to push him, but she thought maybe, just maybe if they could get it all out now, they could forget it. That was the emotional side of her talking. The rational side of her picked up the photo of Leah Watson. "Josh? Do you know her?"

Joshua took the card, his little eyes filling with tears. "Little Joshie. Tiny but still working. Play Mommy and Daddy with me." He threw the card down. "DON'T WANT TO! NO MORE! NO MORE!"

As he burst into sobs, Olivia held him tight to her, rocking him gently. "Shh, Josh. It's okay. No more. Shh. I won't let anyone hurt you ever again."

* * *

There was silence in the room as Cragen, Munch, Fin, Casey, Huang and Elliot watched the pair in the other room.

"Wow," Elliot breathed.

"No wonder the kid is traumatized," Munch said.

Cragen turned to Casey. "Is it enough?"

"It's enough to book Leah Watson for child endangerment, depraved indifference, child abuse and child molestation. But he hasn't said anything about the murders yet."

Elliot looked at her. "You're kidding me. After all that, you want him to go through more turmoil?"

"I don't get a choice here," Casey said. "I can put Leah in the lockup for the charges of molestation, abuse and endangerment. But you've got to get me more before I can charge her for the murders. Particularly because she didn't outright kill them."

"She had to have killed Colin," Fin pointed out. "There was no one left by the time she knocked all her other buddies off."

Elliot turned to look back into the room where Joshua and Olivia were. His heart broke at the sight of his partner, who rocked the little boy in her arms. Her eyes were filled with tears, even though she was trying to suck it up.

Typical Olivia Benson.

In another moment, she had picked up Josh and walked out to where everyone was, the only sign of her turmoil the redness of her eyes.

"Who wants to pick up Watson?" Cragen asked.

Olivia set her jaw. "I do."

"That's not a really good idea," Casey interjected. "Particularly if…"

"I don't give a crap," Olivia told her. "I want to get the bitch and roast her."

Joshua's arms tightened around her neck. "Livvy."

Elliot's eyes met Olivia's. Before he could say anything, Munch stepped up to her.

"Let Fin and I pick the broad up. Then I personally guarantee you five minutes alone with her."

"I'm not hearing this," Casey said, heading out the door.

Olivia's eyes met John's. "Swear?"

"On my mother's grave. The only woman I ever really loved."

A small smile. "Deal."

"Now that we have that sorted…" Cragen said. "Munch, Fin, go pick her up. Elliot, I want you to start digging. Weapons registered, priors, financials. Olivia…take ten minutes."

Olivia smiled at him gratefully. "Thanks Captain but…"

"Take ten minutes," Cragen said firmly. "That's an order."


	17. Chapter 17

Part 17 

Leah Watson threw her door open, anger plainly on her face. "You, again! What do you want THIS time?"

"Could you please step out, ma'am?" Munch asked.

She rolled her eyes. "You better keep in mind that I'm cooperating."

The minute she stepped out of her home, Fin had her arms behind her back and began cuffing her.

"Leah Watson, you are under arrest for depraved indifference, child endangerment, child molestation and child abuse." Fin clicked the cuffs. "And if we have any say in it, three murders."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Munch peered over his sunglasses. "Bad luck, Leah. The kid talked."

* * *

Olivia stood, her arms folded, watching Joshua sit at her desk. Both she and Elliot had tempted him with different delicacies that kids love. McDonald's, ice cream, candy and his favorite apple juice had all been put in front of him. But now the McDonald's was cold, the ice cream had melted, the apple juice was warm and the candy was still wrapped.

"Olivia?"

She turned around, noticing that Elliot had walked up behind her. His hand brushed against her back, unnoticeable to anyone but the two of them. The simple contact gave her comfort.

"Hey."

"He hasn't eaten anything?"

Olivia shook her head. "I don't know what to do. He hasn't done anything except sit there and stare at the wood on my desk."

"This morning was hard for him. Hard for you, too."

"I didn't live through what he did," Olivia replied quickly. "I'll go sit with him for a while. Maybe he'd like that."

Elliot smiled. "I'm sure he would."

Olivia nodded absently and walked over to the little boy. Elliot watched as Joshua looked up at Olivia and raised his arms to her. She picked him up and cuddled him, sitting down in her chair.

"Elliot?"

Elliot turned around, finding Fin standing there. "You got her?"

Fin nodded. "Yeah. Her lawyer won't be here for another twenty minutes. Munch has her in the interrogation room. Want me to watch the kid while Olivia goes to battle?"

"Sounds good."

"So long as I get a play by play after."

Elliot chuckled. "You're on."

* * *

Munch looked up as Olivia walked into the room. "Ah, Detective Benson. Ms. Watson, I believe you and Detective Benson have met."

Leah Watson looked up at Olivia. "Several times," she said dryly.

"Good. Then you two will be nice and cozy together." Munch got up. "I'll be back in five minutes. Enjoy yourselves ladies."

* * *

Munch joined Elliot outside the room.

"Game on," Munch muttered. "Where's Fin? I didn't think he wanted to miss this."

"He might not want to, but I think Joshua does," Elliot replied.

Munch nodded. "Good point."

* * *

They both turned back, watching Olivia lean against the wall, her eyes boring into Leah's.

Both men knew that look. It was Olivia's "You must die" look.

"You know why you're here?" Olivia asked.

Leah shrugged. "Some kid telling stories, I hear."

"You knew right from the beginning who Joshua was."

"What's your point, Detective?"

"He told us about what you did to him. Every little detail." Olivia started circling Leah, before bending down to hiss in her ear. "How you made him play Mommy and Daddy with you."

Leah arched an eyebrow. "You think a jury's going to believe a four-year-old?"

"When they see the evidence, and when he testifies? Of course they are." Olivia bent down towards Leah's other ear. "And they'll be asking what kind of sick bitch would make a four year old play Mommy and Daddy with her." She straightened, needing to move. "And we'll be able to hand-deliver the answer."

"I'm not afraid of you, Detective Benson," Leah remarked.

"You will be." Olivia faced Leah, palms down on the table. "Because if I get my way, the next place you'll be sitting is on Death Row. With me there to personally stick the needle in your arm."

"Okay…ladies," Munch said, coming in. "Have a nice few minutes together? Good." He put his hand on Olivia's arm. "Olivia. They need you outside."

Olivia snapped out of her angry mode, and nodded at Munch, before leaving the room.

"Can I get you something?" Munch asked. "Coffee? Soda? Arsenic?"

* * *

Elliot's hand quickly went to Olivia's arm, stopping her from leaving to go into the squad room. "Take a minute."

"I'm fine," she assured him.

"Olivia," Elliot said quietly. "You're shaking."

She looked at her hand, encased in his, and realized that she was indeed trembling. "I'll be fine."

"I know you will."

"I just need a minute."

"I know."

"You're being a smartass."

Elliot grinned. "Thank you."

Olivia looked down to where his fingers were gently stroking her skin. "El…if someone walks in…"

"I'll do some quick thinking. Just relax."

"I just wanted to…"

"Me, too," Elliot promised. He lifted her hand and pressed the palm to his lips. "You did great bad cop in there."

"It wasn't bad cop," Olivia replied, squeezing his hand. "It was angry mom."

* * *

Joshua looked up as Olivia came into the squad room. Huang was sitting next to him, while Fin sat at Elliot's desk.

"Getting comfortable?" Elliot asked Fin.

"Hell, no. I don't know how you sit in this damn chair. That must be why you're getting so old and creaky."

"Thank you," Elliot replied, rolling his eyes.

"What's going on?" Olivia asked Huang. "Is he okay?"

George nodded. "He's doing well. Fin persuaded him to have some juice."

Olivia smiled at Fin. "Thanks."

Fin shrugged. "No problem. I gotta admit, I bribed him."

Olivia arched an eyebrow. "With what?"

"I told him that by drinking that juice, he'd make himself and everyone else feel a little better."

"Fair enough," she agreed, kneeling in front of Josh. "So, was Fin right? Do you feel a little better?"

There was a very minute nod.

"I'm glad to hear it. I feel a little bit better too, so it must have worked."

Joshua put his arms around Olivia's neck, and she hugged him tight.

A man in a pinstripe suit entered the room. "I'm Andrew Francis, Ms Watson's attorney. I'd like to speak to my client please."

Fin rolled his eyes. "Follow me."

* * *

Cragen watched Andrew Francis chat to Leah. "He looks like a smug bastard."

"Don't all defense lawyers look like smug bastards?" Munch asked.

"He looks like an accountant," Fin commented.

"Have you worked with him before?" Cragen asked Casey.

Casey shook her head. "I have heard he's good though."

"But you can beat him?" Elliot said.

"Based on the evidence for the child charges? Yes. Based on what we have for the murder charges, no. We need more on that."

"But we can lock her up for the moment?"

Casey nodded. "When she's arraigned I'll mention the danger she poses. The trial might be a while in being heard, but Leah won't be out on the streets."

Olivia came into the room, Joshua in her arms. She had turned his body slightly, so he wouldn't have to see Leah. "Who's going to do the interrogation?"

"I'll do it," Elliot said quickly.

Cragen glanced at Olivia. "Do you want in on this?"

Olivia nodded. "Absolutely."

"Hey, Josh, wanna come hang out with me and Munch?" Fin asked the little boy. "We can drive some cars and stuff."

Olivia looked at Josh. "I'll come back, I promise."

Joshua nodded and hugged her tight, before Olivia handed him over to Fin.

"Ready for this?" Elliot asked her.

Olivia nodded. "Definitely."

TBC  



	18. Chapter 18

Part 18 

"My client is horrified at these charges," Andrew Francis began.

"So are we," Elliot muttered, as he sat down, "horrified that she committed them."

"My client admits no guilt in this matter," Andrew continued.

"He doesn't have a choice. We have a witness," Elliot reminded him.

"A four-year-old," Leah muttered. "Who's going to believe a four-year-old?"

"We did," came Olivia's quiet and simple answer.

"So let's just get all this straight." Elliot glared at the woman. "You abused and raped a four-year-old boy. You stood by while other people abused and raped the same child. Then you murdered three men to stop them talking about it."

"Hey! I did not murder anyone."

Olivia studied her for a moment. "I understand why you did it."

All three people in the room swiveled their heads to look at her.

* * *

"What is she doing?" Casey asked. "If Leah Watson admits to the murders, that's an automatic out for the death penalty."

"I don't know what's going on," Cragen frowned.

Huang came into the room. "I heard that Olivia and Elliot were interrogating Leah Watson. How's it going?"

"If Olivia isn't careful, she's going to make Watson exempt from the death penalty," Casey replied.

* * *

"I mean Eddie…well he was just going too far," Olivia said, looking up at Leah. "Bringing other guys into your bedroom? Keeping his dead wife down in the basement in some kind of handmade coffin? And not just any dead wife…but your archenemy. The woman who took everything away from you. He had you... what else could he possibly want?"

Leah was starting to pay attention, her eyes carefully watching Olivia.

"And cutting off his package? Definitely the mark of a woman. Men prize their parcels too much…but a woman? More than happy to cut it off." Olivia sat forward. "No way Larry could have done that part. Nice precision in cutting it off too, Leah. What was it like, watching Larry kill him?

* * *

"Olivia's getting inside her head," Huang murmured.

"Is that entirely wise?" Casey asked.

"I suppose it depends what kind of response you want," Huang replied.

* * *

Leah started to smile. "I bet you would have liked it."

"He certainly got what he deserved." Olivia leant back in her chair. "And as for Colin…that was pure genius. The way you played on his past experiences as a child to trigger his response? Only a very smart person could have worked on that."

* * *

Casey glanced at Huang and Cragen. "You know that if she admits to the murders that the death penalty is off the table, right? I thought she wanted to put the needle in this woman's arm."

"We don't have a lot of forensic evidence against her," Cragen reminded her.

"What about the dog hair?"

The captain arched an eyebrow. "You really think they're going to convict Watson on a dog hair?"

"If we can build up enough circumstantial evidence we could try. Besides, we can always use Huang's profile."

Huang was watching the interrogation carefully. "I think she needs a break."

Cragen stopped trying to figure Casey's reasoning out and he turned to Huang. "What?"

"Olivia. She needs a break. Step back a little. She's getting too close. And if you let Leah mull for a little over this new idea, it might help. Leave Elliot in there."

Cragen paused for a moment before rapping on the door. When Olivia came out, she looked confused.

"What's going on? I was getting into her head. I…"

"If you get a confession, death penalty is off the table," Casey broke in.

"If I don't get a confession, she could walk," Olivia shot back. "Besides, all we have to do is make a few choice words to a few choice people in her prison."

"Huang wants you to take a break," Cragen said.

Olivia turned to Huang. "Why? I'm getting inside her head. If we can start getting more information about this…"

"Take a break, Olivia," Huang said softly. "You're going to need all this inside you for the trial. Don't lose it all here."

"Believe me, I have plenty of hate for this woman to last me forever," Olivia bit out.

Munch came into the room. "We've got something."

"Not now, John," Cragen said.

"Yes now," Munch nodded. "DNA under Andrea Master's fingernails. Comes back Eddie Masters."

"We expected that," Casey replied.

"Yeah. But did we expect the DNA under Larry Morgan's nails to come back Leah Watson?"

Olivia took the piece of paper and looked at it. "I'm going back in there and nailing this bitch to the wall."

"Use rusty nails," Munch advised, before heading back out to check on Fin and Josh.

* * *

"Your day is just getting worse, Leah," Olivia said, coming back into the room.

"Excuse me?"

Elliot looked questioningly at his partner, who placed the piece of paper in front of him. He allowed a small smile to grace his features before handing the paper back to Olivia.

"We've got DNA evidence linking you to the murder of Larry Morgan," Olivia said, sitting down.

"Let me see that," Andrew said, a frown on his face.

Olivia passed the paper over, but kept her eyes on Leah. "We both know you did it, Leah. We both know you're going down for it. But I want to know how, and why. Every detail."

"Because you're the kid's legal guardian, you're a cop, or you're interested?" Leah asked.

"A little bit of all three, I imagine," Olivia replied.

"What will she get if she cooperates?" Andrew asked.

"She won't get a needle in her arm," Elliot offered.

Andrew turned as if he was going to confer with Leah, but the woman waved him away with a hand.

"I wasn't as careful as I thought I was," she muttered to him. "My fault. But Detective Benson seems truly interested. I wouldn't want to disappoint her."

Olivia smiled thinly at Leah. "Yeah, I thought that would be your view."

"Want some popcorn and a drink, Detective? It does get quite entertaining." She caught Olivia's look. "No? Well, let the fun times begin."  



	19. Chapter 19

19 

"Start at the beginning; when Andrea was killed."

"Getting awfully bossy, aren't you, for someone who doesn't hold the reins?" Leah let out a small chuckle. "Okay, okay. Just because you're looking forward to it…" She folded her arms. "Andrea was a first-class, royal pain in the ass. Anything she wanted, she got. She always got the first dibs on modeling jobs, because when clients saw her, she was it. They had to have her. I made do with the appointments she didn't have time for. Andrea's hand-me-downs."

"That must have pissed you off," Elliot said.

"It was okay to deal with at first. When Andrea got married and pregnant, she left the job. For those few years she wasn't around, I had free rein. I was the one chosen first. Then Andrea came back. She expected the same star treatment as she got before. And, because she was Andrea Masters, she got it."

"When did you start sleeping with Eddie?"

Leah smiled. "I wanted to think of as many ways as I could to get back at Andrea. Eddie seemed a perfect way to try."

"Even though you knew he hit her?" Olivia asked.

"He never hit me." Leah shrugged. "Besides, if he hadn't behaved himself, I would have chosen another way to annoy Andrea. Anyway, Larry Morgan liked to stick it to all his models. Sampling the goods, he called it. Always pissed him off that Andrea wouldn't give. When Eddie said he was looking to experiment, I knew Larry would be the perfect guy."

"So you, Larry and Eddie were in that bed," Elliot said. "When did Josh come into it?"

Leah glanced at him. "Keep your pants on. I'm getting there." She shifted in her seat. "I didn't know Eddie was playing around with the kid at that time. We had our fun with Larry and I mention to Eddie I wasn't so much into that kind of game. A couple of days later, Eddie said he had a way we could both get what we wanted. He could have his male fun, and I wouldn't be with two huge guys. I asked what, did he find a dwarf? He laughed and said sort of. Then the kid came in."

"What made you want to kill Eddie?" Olivia asked. "It seems you were both getting what you wanted."

"I found out what he'd done to Andrea. Seemed to defeat the whole purpose of me and him. So I broke it off. Then I found out he was still doing the kid and several other choice guys."

"So you killed him?"

"Larry Morgan killed him," Leah replied. "And it wasn't just that he was screwing other people. But when I found out that he was taking the kid down to see Mommy…it creeped me out."

Elliot arched an eyebrow. "You can sleep with the kid, but he can't look at a dead corpse?"

"Would you want your kid looking at a dead corpse?"

Olivia was starting to feel sick. "Go on."

"I talked with Larry. You got to remember, Larry had a bit of a thing for Andrea. When he found out that Eddie had killed Andrea, Larry went nuts. Hardly needed any prompting from me. So I followed him to Eddie's. Larry killed him and was done. I wasn't." She smiled slightly. "I felt Eddie needed a little extra decoration. So I cut off his dick and wrote pervert on him."

"Did you know the kid was in the house?" Elliot asked.

Leah shrugged. "I wasn't really thinking about the kid; was more thinking about getting myself cleaned up."

"What about Larry?"

"He started getting too chummy with the cops. Too eager to please. Odd for a man like that. So to keep things clean, I spoke to Colin about him."

Olivia leaned back in her chair. "Tell me about Colin."

"Colin was a sweet kid, kind of obsessed with Andrea, but loved helping anyone and everyone. He used to talk a lot too, particularly with Andrea, which is how I found out about his childhood. When I told him what Larry was up to, Colin saw red. He didn't need much convincing after that."

"You were there," Elliot said. "DNA proves that."

Leah nodded. "So it does, Detective. And yes, I was there. I wanted to make sure that Colin completed the project."

"The project," Olivia said slowly. She wanted to be with Josh, hugging him, holding him. Another part of her wanted to be with Elliot, not as a cop, but just as herself.

Dare she say a family?

"And Colin's death?" Elliot asked.

"Unavoidable," Leah replied. "He was too helpful. Not only to you, but to me as well. He started hanging around and wouldn't leave me alone. It was getting out of control."

"So you killed him?"

"Like I said, unavoidable." Leah locked eyes with Olivia. She smiled slowly. "Well, well, well. Your mind is just turning over in there, Detective Benson. You're terrified."

Olivia shifted in her seat. "I'm not afraid of you, Ms. Watson."

"I know that. You're more afraid of becoming me. Your cop mind is fighting against your mom mind, and you're trying to rationalize how you would kill Eddie Masters. Poor Olivia Benson. Crossing over to the dark side."

That prompted movement from the detective, who jerked out of her chair and wandered over to Leah. "If I was going to kill someone, Eddie was the only one on my list. And the difference between you and me, Leah, is that I'm not stupid enough to get caught."

* * *

Behind the window, Huang watched with interest as the interplay continued between Leah and Olivia.

"We've got a confession," Casey said. "It's over."

"It's not over for her," Huang said quietly, watching Olivia and Leah continue to trade barbs. He turned to Cragen. "Has Olivia got any vacation time on the books?"

"She's certainly been piling it up. Why?"

"I think she needs a break. If, at a later stage, this needs to go to trial, Olivia is going to need to be in a much stronger state than she is now."

Casey glanced at Olivia. "She looks perfectly normal to me."

Huang turned around. "Olivia's going through a tough time now. She's foster mom to a little boy who has more emotional scars than Olivia does. It's important they get time alone together, and Olivia's going to need to work through a lot of her problems. With and without Joshua."

"She needs time off anyway," Cragen replied, not wanting to get into Olivia's past with Casey Novak. "I'll talk to her."

* * *

Olivia stood outside, letting the cold air of the city whip against her skin. She had slipped out a side door, guilt plaguing her as she wondered if Josh was looking for her.

She couldn't face him right at the moment. His innocent eyes would look up at her and love her unconditionally. Right now, she wasn't one hundred percent sure she deserved it.

"Olivia?"

"Leave me alone, Elliot."

"Don't let her get to you."

"I just need some time out."

"Do you know how wide that table is? I do. I was counting every centimeter of it as I thought of how fast I could reach over and strangle Leah Watson. I wondered how quick I could draw my gun, and which part of her body I'd shoot first. Sure, I could shoot her in the head, but it'd be quick. Could I angle it right to shoot her in the stomach? Bleed to death. More painful, certainly, but with all those people around she might get help quickly."

"Olivia."

She froze for a second, when she realized that a new voice had joined the group, and it certainly wasn't Elliot. She turned around. "Captain?"

Cragen looked at her. "I need to see you in my office. Now."


	20. Chapter 20

Part 20 

"You're putting me on leave?"

"Huang suggested it first, and after listening to you out there, I think it's a good idea."

Olivia folded her arms. "I was just letting off steam, Captain! It's not like I'm losing my mind."

"Olivia," Huang interjected, "you've got a lot going on in your life now. You and Josh need to adjust to each other, and I know that being a foster parent is going to bring up a lot of memories for you."

Olivia glared at him. "This has nothing to do with my parents."

"Are you sure of that? Surely after what you've seen over the past while has triggered some memory of your childhood?"

"I never had problems with remembering my childhood, or my method of conception."

"You've got a lot of vacation time stacked up," Cragen told her. "You've worked a lot of overtime as well. You need a break."

Olivia looked at her captain. "Is this an order?"

Cragen glanced at Huang and then back at Olivia. "Do I need to make it one?"

She fidgeted on the spot, shifting from one foot to the other. "How long?"

"Start with two weeks. We'll go from there," Cragen suggested.

"Use this time to get to know Josh. Start shopping together. Spending time together," Huang suggested.

"Thanks," Olivia ground out, an almost sarcastic edge to her voice. She turned on her heel and headed out into the squad room, where Josh eagerly approached her.

"Livia!"

"Hey champ," she smiled, lifting him up into her arms. "What do you say to having me to yourself for two weeks?"

Fin and Munch looked up in surprise, while Elliot just stared at her.

Joshua wrapped his arms around her neck and gave her a big hug. "Okay!"

Olivia kissed him on the forehead and put him down again. "Just let me grab my things and we'll go home, okay?"

Joshua nodded eagerly and began packing his backpack.

"Why do you get a nice vacation while the rest of us slave to the bone?" Munch asked.

Olivia turned around and glared at him. Munch flinched involuntarily.

"It's not my call," she finally hissed, turning back to her locker.

Elliot got up, ruffling Josh's hair before he edged over to the locker. "Liv?"

"Cragen. Huang. They double-teamed me."

"About taking time off?"

"They think I need it because of my personal history. Among other things." Olivia put on her coat. "I really don't want to talk about it."

"Okay. I'll bring over dinner."

"Elliot…"

"Liv, you need to talk to someone. At least talk to me."

She relaxed a little when Joshua's arms wrapped around her leg.

"Home, Livia?" Joshua turned to Elliot. "Home, Elliot?"

"Elliot can't go home yet," Olivia told the little boy. She picked him up and whispered in his ear. "But we can see him later."

Joshua nodded. "Bye, Elliot." He turned around to the two other men. "Bye, Munch. Bye, Fin."

"Hey Olivia," Fin said, getting up. "If you need a hand with Josh, call me. Parent to parent?"

Olivia smiled gratefully. "Thanks, Fin."

Munch got up also. "Olivia…I'm sorry about the joke. It'll be weird around here without you. I'm not a parent, but if you ever need a baby-sitter…"

"Thanks, Munch." She turned to Elliot. "Bye."

* * *

"What would you like for dinner?" Olivia asked Joshua, who was playing on the car mat that Fin had given him.

"Paghetti?"

Olivia grinned. "Sounds good to me. Do you and Ruggles want to set the table?"

Joshua nodded and got up, bringing his toy dog to the cutlery drawer. He pulled out two forks and placed them on the table. "Livia?"

"Mhm?"

"Is Elliot coming?"

Olivia paused, closing the door to the fridge. "I don't know, Josh."

"I like Elliot."

Olivia grinned as she got the water ready to boil. "Me, too."

Joshua climbed up onto a stool by the kitchen bench, dragging Ruggles up with him. He watched with interest as Olivia began to prepare the pasta sauce. When the doorbell rang, he looked up, alarmed.

"It's okay, buddy," Olivia assured him, resting a hand on his shoulder. "You wait here and I'll go see who it is. And remember, don't touch anything over here. I don't want you to hurt yourself."

After Joshua had agreed, Olivia headed out to the door. She looked through the peephole and smiled when she saw who was on the other side.

"Hey."

Elliot grinned at her, before cupping her face in his hands and kissing her deeply. Olivia moaned, arching toward him.

"Elliot?"

The couple broke apart, Olivia running her fingers across her lips as Elliot turned to greet Josh.

"Hey, buddy," he said.

"You come for dinner?"

Elliot glanced back at Olivia, who smiled softly. "Yeah, I guess I did. Don't tell anyone, but Olivia's a really good cook."

Joshua puts his arms out. "Up."

"Please," Olivia reminds him.

Joshua looks up at Elliot, his arms still outstretched. "Thank you, Elliot."

Olivia burst into giggles and left the two boys alone as she headed back into the kitchen.

"You're getting there," Elliot assured Josh, picking him up. "What's Olivia cooking?"

"Paghetti."

"Spaghetti? Fantastic." They went into the kitchen and Elliot peered over at the saucepan. "Looking good, Liv."

Olivia didn't miss the double meaning and smiled at him.

"Is there room for me at the table?" Elliot asked Josh.

The boy nodded eagerly and pointed to the cutlery drawer. "Fork!"

* * *

After dinner, Elliot helped Olivia clean up, while Josh watched some TV.

"Having this extra time to spend with him must be nice," Elliot said, broaching the subject of her time off.

Olivia glanced at him, instantly guessing where his mind was. "It'll be good for us to spend some time together. Without us discussing his case."

"Who are we talking about here? You and Josh, or you and me?"

"A little of both, I think."

Olivia smiled and leant over, kissing him gently.

"What was that for?" Elliot asked, a small smile on his face as the kiss broke.

"Do I need a reason?"

"Not at all."

Olivia hung the dishtowel up. "All done."

Elliot nodded. "Yeah."

"This is frustrating."

Elliot arched an eyebrow. "Who? Me?"

"In a way. We both know what we want to do now, and we both know it's not going to work."

Elliot's eyes darkened. "What are you talking about, Liv?

She looked at him curiously for a moment, before finally deducing the very different path his mind had taken. "Elliot, I didn't mean us. I meant sleeping together. It's sort of impossible at the moment because Josh is sleeping in my room."

He visibly relaxed, his hands on her shoulders. "Sorry. My mind went a little haywire for a moment there." He smiled at her. "As for what you really meant…Olivia, I'm happy to wait until we're ready. And we're sure. This relationship is so important. And right now, Josh is the most important thing here."

"I really need to get a house."

Elliot smiled and his hands moved to her waist, his fingers gently caressing the skin of her hips. "It'll come, Liv. All in its own time."

"I liked that one we saw on the weekend. Perfect fit for Josh and me." She paused. "And anyone else who wanted to bunk over."

"So what's stopping you?"

"It's buying a house. It's a big step."

He blinked. "And deciding to adopt Josh wasn't a big step?"

Olivia squirmed. "That's different."

Chuckling, Elliot took her hand and they sat down on the couch. "You've got a family now, Liv. A family needs a home."

"I guess I'm buying a house then."

"We'll have to celebrate."

She smiled at him. "And how do you plan on doing that?"

Elliot cupped her face and started to kiss her. She murmured something unintelligible and leant in to his touch. His fingers trailed down the side of her body, lifting her closer to him. Olivia nestled herself on his lap, her arms going around his neck as she deepened the kiss.

"Liv…"

She pressed a finger to his lips. "Shh." Bending down, she cupped his face with her hands and began to kiss him again.

Elliot put his arms around her waist, pulling her flush against him, and letting his fingers run underneath the back of her shirt.

Olivia shivered as she felt his fingers trace along her spine and she arched against him, her hands delving in places she knew were dangerous.

He bucked against her. "Olivia…"

She pulled away a little, looking back. "I know."

Caressing her cheek, he pressed a deep kiss to her lips. "This is why you need a house."

Olivia leant into his body, curling up so that she was snuggled against him. "I think you just convinced me."


	21. Chapter 21

Part 21 

Olivia awoke in her bed the next morning, with no real idea of how she got there. She was still wearing her clothes, but her shoes were off and she was tucked up warmly in the bed.

Propping herself up on her elbows, she glanced over to where Joshua's bed was. Panic started to set in when she saw it was empty, but quickly disappeared as she heard clatter from the kitchen and two male voices.

She got up and padded out to the kitchen, where she found Joshua and Elliot making pancakes.

"Morning, Liv," Elliot murmured.

"Hi, Livia!" Josh cried exuberantly, making his way over to hug her around the legs. "Elliot and I making bweakfast!"

"So I see," she smiled. She looked up at Elliot. "Thanks."

"Don't thank me. It was Josh's idea."

"Thank you, as well," Olivia said, leaning over to kiss Josh on the cheek.

"Aren't you gonna kiss Elliot, too?" Josh asked, sticking a finger into the jug of maple syrup.

"Yeah," Elliot smirked. "Aren't you gonna kiss me, too?"

Olivia walked over to him, her hands cupping his face. "Sure." She leant in and pressed a deep kiss to his lips. When she stepped away, she had a small smile on her face. "How's that?"

"Pretty good," Elliot agreed, his thumb brushing over her lips.

Her eyes closed momentarily, before Joshua's cry that he was hungry brought her back to reality.

"Hungry, huh?" she asked Josh.

Josh nodded eagerly.

Elliot grinned at the little boy. "No problem. I bet I can fix that." As he passed Olivia, he trailed his fingers up her arm, watching with delight as she shivered a little. He put some pancakes on a plate for Josh, and set the breakfast at Josh's place.

"Say thank you to Elliot," Olivia reminded him.

Josh smiled sweetly up at Elliot. "Thank you to Elliot."

Olivia chuckled softly and smiled as Elliot handed her a plate. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," he murmured.

They all sat down to the table, and Olivia watched with amusement as Joshua tried to drown his pancakes in maple syrup.

"Don't put too much on, Josh. You do want to be able to taste the pancakes, right?"

Josh simply grinned at her, "Yummy."

"At least leave some for us, okay?" Elliot asked.

"I'll try," Josh said solemnly.

"So, what are you two going to do today?" Elliot said, looking at Olivia.

"Where are you going?" Josh asked.

"Elliot has to go to work, Josh," Olivia explained.

"Aren't you gonna go?"

Olivia shook her head. "No. I get to spend two whole weeks with you. When Elliot is free, and if he wants to, he can come spend time with us too."

Joshua looked seriously at Elliot. "Don't forget us."

"I promise, Josh, I could never forget either you or Olivia," Elliot assured him.

"Good," Joshua said, taking a bite of his pancake.

Olivia thought about the idea of being forgotten for a while. She had often wondered if her mother regularly forgot about her after a few drinks.

Elliot rested a hand on her arm. "Liv?"

She blinked out of her trance to smile weakly at him. "Yeah?"

Josh held out the maple syrup. "Your turn now."

Before Elliot left, he cornered Olivia at the front door. "What were you thinking about at breakfast?"

"Nothing," she said quickly.

His hand cupped her face. "Liv."

"What?"

"Don't lie to me."

Olivia pressed a quick kiss to his lips. "You'll be late for work."

"Good. Tell me the truth."

"I can't."

"Sure you can. Just tell me. Say the words."

"Why are you being so stubborn about this?"

"Why are you?"

"Forget about it, Elliot. Please." She looked at him. "Just go to work and forget about it."

He looked oddly at her. "Where is this coming from?"

"Where do you think it's coming from?" she hissed. Biting her lip, she pulled away from his touch. "I'm sorry. That was…never mind."

"You can't shut me out anymore, Liv. It's not fair."

"Not everything in life is fair." She took a deep breath. "Just go to work. Please."

Elliot stared at her for a few moments, before shrugging his coat on. "Fine. But we're discussing this later."

Before Olivia could reply, he'd left, slamming the door behind him. Her body jerked at the sound and she closed her eyes.

"Livia?"

She turned to face Josh. "Hey."

"Why is Elliot mad?"

Olivia sighed. "He's just upset about something."

"What?"

"Just…" She smiled at him. "Just a silly big person thing."

"You're sad."

Olivia picked him up and hugged him tight. "No. I'm feeling great because you're here."

Josh kissed her on the cheek. "Love you, Livvy."

She kissed him on the cheek. "Love you, too. Come on, we've got a lot to do."

* * *

During a break from work, Elliot cornered George Huang. "Can I talk to you?"

George nodded. "Of course."

They both headed upstairs where they could talk in private.

"You look concerned," George noticed. "Is everything okay with Olivia?"

"Can you give her counseling?"

George arched an eyebrow. "You've never been a huge fan of my work before. Something must be really worrying you."  
"Anything I say, stays between us, right?"

George nodded. "Of course."

"This morning, at breakfast, I told Joshua I had to go to work, but Olivia was staying home. He asked if I was going to forget him, and I told him I'd never forget either him or Olivia. It was almost like Olivia traveled to another place after that. She was staring off into space and when I asked her about it, she got touchy."

"Well," George began, "she was in another place. She was probably wondering how often her mother forgot her."

Elliot groaned. "No wonder she wouldn't tell me. And she asked me where I thought it was coming from."

"Don't blame yourself, Elliot. Olivia's been very careful to keep a lot of those memories and feelings bottled up. They were bound to explode at some point."

"She needs to talk to someone. She won't talk to me about it."

"I'll try and talk to her. But Elliot, she loves you. Maybe she just needs time to work it out for herself before she can explain it to you."

* * *

"Clothes?" Josh said, looking up at the store. "I got clothes."

"I know, but you need a few more. You only have a few outfits and it will minimize the amount of washing we do." Olivia took his hand and they went into the store. "And some shoes."

Josh looked down at the ratty old sneakers. "I don't think I ever got new shoes. Not on purpose, anyway." His eyes widened as he saw how big the store was, and how many parents were mulling around with their children. His fingers gripped tightly around Olivia's.

She squeezed his hand reassuringly. "How about we look at shoes first?"

Joshua sat up on one of the chairs, watching Olivia look around the shoe area. His eyes widened when she brought over some boxes.

"Are we getting all those?"

Olivia shook her head. "Nope. We need to try them on and see which ones you like best." She placed the boxes down. "I thought sneakers first."

A sales assistant came over to them and Josh edged back in the seat, pulling his knees up to his chin.

"It's okay Josh," Olivia murmured, putting her hand on his shoulder. "This lady…" she paused and looked at the assistant's nametag, "Meredith, is going to help us get the right size."

Josh started to relax a bit; letting his legs dangle over the side of the chair.

Olivia turned to Meredith. "I want to get Josh some sneakers, rain boots and some shoes he can use for going out."

Meredith nodded. "Okay Josh, do you like any of these?"

Josh looked at the boxes Olivia had brought over and pointed to one.

Olivia sank down into one of the chairs, starting to relax as Josh let Meredith help him with the shoes. It was going to be a long day.


	22. Chapter 22

Part 22 

Josh had needed a break from shopping, so Olivia had taken him to the food court. When she had seen how nervous he was with all the people, she took him into a corner booth in a quiet restaurant.

"How's this?" she asked him, setting the parcels down.

He nodded. "Nice."

"I like the quiet places," Olivia murmured. "Too many people elsewhere."

"Thank you for the shoes, Olivia," Joshua said politely.

She smiled at him. "I'm glad to buy you things, Josh. That's part of being a family. We all get to have things we need."

"What about what you need?"

"I've got all my clothes and things," she assured him. "It's your turn today."

When they had ordered, Joshua looked down at his new sneakers. They were a tan color, with white laces.

"I like my new shoes.

Olivia grinned. "I'm glad to hear it."

As well as the new sneakers, they'd found a pair of blue rain boots with trucks on them that Joshua had fallen in love with, and a pair of brown canvas lace ups for going out.

"Do you think Elliot will like them?"

Olivia paused for a moment, wondering what her conversation with Elliot was going to be like when he returned home. "I'm sure he will."

"I love Elliot."

"I'm glad to hear it."

"Do you love Elliot?"

She nodded.

"Even when you're mad at each other?"

"I'm not mad at Elliot. We just…we don't always agree on everything." She looked at the little boy. "And that's okay."

"My mommy didn't like to fight." Josh looked down at his hands. " 'Please, Eddie, no more. Won't do it again. No more.'" He looked back up at Olivia. "Then Mommy went away."

Olivia reached over the table, taking his little hand in hers. "I wish I could bring her back, Josh. I really do."

"You won't leave me, will you Livia?"

"I won't," Olivia promised.

Their food arrived then and Josh took a sip of his apple juice.

"Where are we going next?"

Olivia found herself bemused at Josh's apparent easiness with transferring topics. Her mind seemed to enjoy constantly travel back to her childhood, showing her similarities between herself and Josh.

"Livia?"

She blinked and looked back at him. "I thought we might look at some new clothes for you."

Josh nodded. "Okay."

Olivia decided to broach another subject. "What do you think about having a house to live in? You and me."

"And Elliot?"

"If he wants to."

"I'd like that."

Olivia smiled. "Good. I'm glad."

* * *

The rest of their afternoon was spent finding Josh some clothes. They found some jeans, shorts and shirts. He also found a pair of overalls that he loved.  
Olivia had great fun helping him pick out the things he wanted and needed. He was proudly carrying a bag, deciding that Olivia shouldn't have to carry them all.

"Do you think Elliot will like my new clothes, Livia?"

"I'm sure he will," she replied, unlocking her car. "I think you look very handsome."

Josh helped her pack the bags into the boot. "I've never had so many new clothes before."

Olivia smiled at him and helped him buckle himself in. "It's about time then, right?"

* * *

They were about to sit down for dinner when Elliot arrived. Olivia got up and went to the door. There was silence between them as they just looked at each other.

"Can I come in?"

Olivia opened the door. "Of course." She closes it behind him. "We're just about to have dinner. Hungry?"

Elliot nodded. Olivia turned to leave, but his hand on her arm stopped her.

"Liv."

"I don't want to talk about it, Elliot."

"We have to."

"Josh is hungry. Let's just have dinner."

"Afterwards."

Olivia nodded. "Fine."

"Elliot!" Josh cried out with glee when they came into the kitchen. "Are you staying for dinner?"

"Sure am," Elliot assured him, taking a seat beside the boy.

"Great! Can I show you my new clothes later?"

Olivia smiled, in spite of the slight dread of the conversation that was to come later. She was glad to see Josh happy and excited; just how a four-year-old  
should be.

* * *

Olivia came out of her bedroom, having put Josh to sleep. She found Elliot cleaning up the kitchen. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up, and the top few buttons of his shirt undone.

It was a nice view.

"You don't have to do that," she murmured, coming into the room.

"I wanted to," he replied, doing the finishing touches.

"You're mad."

He looked up at her. "I'm not mad."

She looked confused. "You're not?"

Elliot walked over to her, his hands resting on her hips. "I was, earlier, because I didn't like you not telling me things. But I talked with Huang today, and now  
I'm not mad."

"You talked to Huang? What about?"

"This morning."

"Why?"

"Because I was worried."

Olivia looked at him. "So, what did Huang say? Am I losing my mind?"

"No one ever thought that you were losing your mind, Liv."

"The captain must have. Huang did. Why am I on leave otherwise?"

"They don't think you're losing your mind. None of us do." Elliot's hands cupped her face, forcing her to look at him. "We were worried because we know what you went through as a child. And now that I've talked to Huang, I understand what this morning was about."

"I didn't mean to get mad with you," Olivia replied. "It's hard to explain."

Elliot nodded. "I know. And I know you've got this all bottled up inside." He kissed her forehead. "Huang helped you once after that case. Let him help you this time."

"You never used to have such a high opinion of shrinks."

"I love you," he replied. "And I want you to be happy. And you need to talk about the stuff that's eating away at you."

Olivia smiled at him. "Okay. I'll see Huang."

Elliot caressed her cheek. "Thank you."

She leans up, gently pressing a kiss to his lips. "I'm sorry I was mad at you."

"You had a right to be. Everything will be okay, Liv. You, me, and Josh."

Olivia's eyes watched his carefully. "You're making us sound like a family."

"Isn't that what is happening?" he asked quietly.

"I think I'd like it to be."

"Me too," Elliot agreed.

Olivia smirked at him. "Want to kiss on it?"

Elliot chuckled and tugged her closer so that their bodies were flush with each other. "Sounds good to me."

Olivia's eyes closed, her body brushing up against his. His lips met hers, and the kiss deepened almost instantly. Elliot groaned as he felt Olivia's tongue gently stroke his. He slipped his hands underneath the back of her shirt, his fingers caressing her spine. She shivered, arching closer towards him, her hands slipping underneath his shirt.

Elliot felt her fingers starting to undo the buttons of his shirt and he pulled away.

"Liv…we have to stop. Before this gets too carried away."

She nodded, her tongue running across her kiss-swollen lips. "I know."

"I really want this."

"So do I."

His thumb ran across her lips. "I was dangerously close to…"

Olivia put a finger on his lips to silence him. "I know. And I would have." She did the couple of buttons up that she had managed to undo. "Which is why we stopped."

"Our first night, in the new house…"

Olivia smiled at him. "We will."

"And it won't be rushed. Or," Elliot said, gesturing to their surroundings, "on the kitchen table."

Olivia chuckled. "That would have been interesting."

"And uncomfortable."

Her eyes met his. "I doubt that we would have noticed."

Elliot smiled. "True." He pressed a quick kiss to her lips. "I have to go."

Olivia nodded and walked him to the door. Her hand rested against his chest. "Tomorrow?"

"Absolutely." He took the hand, kissing it gently. "See you tomorrow."

Olivia closed the door behind him, leaning against it. She took deep breaths, trying to calm her arousal. Putting a hand to her chest, she chuckled slightly…the kitchen table.


	23. Chapter 23

Joshua was up early the next morning, rummaging through Olivia's wardrobe. For the moment, his clothes were housed with Olivia's, so he had to wade past her clothes to find his.

The inevitable happened and he got twisted around a long dress and a pair of jeans. "Help!"

Olivia's arms scooped him up, untangling him. "I've got you."

He hugged her tight. "It's scary in there!"

Olivia chuckled. "I sometimes feel that way myself." She put him down. "I was wondering…would you like to go to the park today?"

His eyes widened. "Really?"

Olivia nodded. "Sure. We could play in the playground and maybe look at some animals."

"Could Elliot come? I bet he would like animals."

Olivia smiled. "Yeah, I'm sure he would. Would you like to call him?"

"Really? Can I?"

"Of course. I'll dial, and you can invite him."

After she dialed Elliot's number, Olivia handed the phone to Josh, and sat next to him on the couch.

"Stabler."

"Hi Elliot!"

"Josh? Is everything okay? Is Liv alright?"

"We're going to the park. You can come too."

"Sounds like fun. Can I talk to Olivia for a second?"

"Okay." Josh handed the phone over to Olivia and went into the bedroom, heading for the closet again.

"Hi, beautiful."

Olivia closed her eyes at the warm voice on the other end of the line. "Hi."

"I love you."

"There's something I'd like to hear every morning."

"Don't worry Liv, I'm sure Josh loves you too."

Olivia chuckled. "Would you like to come to the park with us?"

"I would. Where and what time?"

After giving Elliot the information, Olivia smiled as she said, "I love you too, Elliot."

* * *

Arriving at the park in his new overalls and long-sleeved striped shirt, Josh looked eagerly for Elliot. Olivia had a firm grip on his hand, not wanting to lose him.

"There he is!"

Elliot smiled as he strode over to the duo. He picked Josh up. "Hi there."

"Hi!"

Elliot turned to Olivia, one hand gently brushing against her cheek. "Hi."

She closed her eyes momentarily. "Hi."

"Like my new clothes, Elliot?" Josh asked. "Olivia got 'em for me!"

Elliot put him down, and took a look at the clothes. "You look great."

"I brought food," Olivia gestured to the hamper behind her.

"You made up a picnic?"

Olivia narrowed her eyes. "Don't get too carried away. It's just sandwiches and drinks."

Elliot smirked. "Not saying a word."

"Glad to hear it."

"Can I go play over there?" Josh pointed to the small playground they stood in front of.

Olivia glanced at Elliot for a moment, who nodded back at her.

"Sure," she said. "But be careful, and make sure I can see you."

Josh nodded and ran over to the slide.

Elliot sat down next to Olivia on the bench. She smiled as he put his arm around her.

"You're doing great with him, Liv."

"I'm just waiting for Family Services to come and take him away," she murmured.

"They're not going to do that."

"How do you know that? Once they find out I'm seeing a shrink and I have all these unresolved issues…"

"Seeing Huang can only make them swing your way."

"How do you figure that?"

"You're doing something about it. You're not letting it affect the way you look after Josh." Elliot pointed at the boy who was climbing the jungle gym. "Look how far he's come since we found him shivering in a cupboard? He talks, he smiles, he laughs, he's happy. That's your influence, Liv."

Olivia rested her head on his shoulder. "You're good at making me feel better."

His fingers threaded through her hair. "I just tell the truth."

Olivia watched Josh for a minute. "Let's go play with him."

"One moment," Elliot said, holding her arm. "I need to talk to you."

"What about?"

"The house."

Olivia paused for a moment, wondering if he had changed his mind about everything. "Okay."

"Don't say it like that, Olivia. I'm not pulling out." He smiled, brushing some hair from her face. "Actually, you could say I'm putting more in."

Olivia looked at him, confused. "Huh?"

"I want to get a bigger house."

"What do you mean?"

"I want a house with four bedrooms, instead of three."

"Oookay. Why?"

"So that if Dickie, Kathleen, Lizzie or Maureen comes to stay…we can accommodate them all."

Olivia smiled. "I like that idea."

"Livvy!"

Olivia turned her head, a look of glee crossing her face as she saw Josh at the top of the slide. "Hey there!"

"Watch me!"

Joshua slid down the slide, landing on his feet at the bottom triumphantly. He raced over.

"Did you see? Did you see?"

She enfolded him in her arms. "I did see. And I'm so proud."

Elliot watched the two of them for a moment, knowing that Olivia's pride had nothing to do with the slide and everything to do with how far the little boy had come.

"Will you come play too?" Josh asked.

Elliot lifted the little boy out of Olivia's arms. "I think we can manage that. Right Liv?"

"Right."

* * *

Josh sat on the picnic blanket, chewing on his sandwich. His gaze was riveted on some boys playing soccer in the nearby field. Elliot caught the gaze and nudged Olivia.

She looked at the little boy and smiled. "See something interesting?"

"What are they playing?"

"That's soccer," Olivia said. "Elliot's kids played it, didn't they?"

Elliot nodded. "They sure did."

"Will you play with me?" Josh asked.

"How about, since tomorrow is Sunday, I bring a soccer ball over to your place and we come and kick it around."

"Okay," Josh agreed.

Olivia leant back against Elliot. "Maybe, next time your kids are around, they could meet Josh."

"You sure he's ready for that?"

"He's lonely," Olivia murmured. "He doesn't play with any other kids, let alone kids his own age. I know what that feels like and I don't want Josh to be like that."

"You go and see Huang on Monday, right?"

Olivia turned around. "Don't change the subject."

"Okay, I'll bring Dickie next time he's around. But I still want to make sure you go to Huang on Monday."

"I said I would, and I will," Olivia answered. "Don't push, Elliot."

"I'm just worried about you."

"Don't be. The person to be worried about is Josh. Not me."

* * *

"Wake up, Olivia!"

Olivia groaned and rolled over, burying her face in the middle. "It's not morning yet."

"Sun!" Josh pointed.

Olivia sighed and blearily opened one eye. She and Elliot had touched and kissed and aroused beyond belief last night, until they both decided that if he didn't go, they'd make love on the couch…consequences be damned.

Needless to say, it had been a late night.

"Elliot promised!"

Olivia turned over and looked at him. "That's right, he did promise. And he will be here. But it's a little early yet."

Josh pondered that thought for a moment, before coming over to the side of the bed. "Can I come up there with you?"

Olivia smiled and picked him up. "Sure you can."

Josh cuddled up in her arms and Olivia closed her eyes. "Try and get a little bit more sleep, sweetheart."

* * *

"Late night?"

Olivia glared at Elliot as she opened the front door. "Your fault."

Elliot walked in, watching as she closed the door behind him. "My fault?" He backed her up against the door, his hands slipping around her waist. "Have you ever heard of the term 'blue balls'?" The last sentence was whispered in her ear.

Olivia's eyes opened wide then turned mischievous. "I gave you blue balls, huh?"

"Honey, you have no idea how close it came to us…"

She rested a hand on his chest. "I know. Believe me, I know."

Elliot leaned down, ready to kiss her.

"Elliot!"

"Later," Olivia whispered to him, as she pushed him backwards.

"Hi, Josh," Elliot grinned, picking the little boy up. "All ready to play?"

"Olivia's coming too, right?"

She watched Josh for a minute. "You want me to?"

Josh nodded.

"Okay. Let me just grab my things."

The two detectives shared a concerned look over the top of Josh's head, before Olivia headed into her bedroom.

* * *

She watched in amusement as Elliot and Josh kicked the soccer ball between them. Josh seemed to love running around and kicking the ball with Elliot and she was more than happy to let someone else use physical exertion.

Olivia was also glad that it gave her time to herself so she could think. She'd never admit it to anyone, but she was a little nervous about her appointment with Huang.

She very rarely discussed her personal life or her past with anybody. As it was, the only people who knew about her mother's attack were Cragen and Elliot. And Munch, because Elliot had berated him for making a crack about her not filling out her father's side in the insurance form.

Olivia smiled slightly. He had a protective streak to him that she was quite enjoying.

"Look, Livvy!" Josh cried, kicking the ball past Elliot. "I goaled!"

She chuckled as Elliot scrambled after the ball. "You sure did!"

After he had grabbed the ball, Elliot put it down next to Josh. Then he knelt beside the little boy, whispering something. Olivia narrowed her eyes. This didn't bode well for her.

"What are you up to?" she asked, when Elliot got up.

"Nothing."

"Yeah, nothing," Josh echoed.

Crossing her arms defensively did nothing to protect her as Elliot swung her up in his arms, holding her on an angle and threatening to dangle her upside down.

"Elliot Stabler!"

Joshua giggled.

"Yes?" Elliot asked.

Olivia glared at him. "You wouldn't dare."

Elliot tipped her a little more. "Wouldn't I?"

She glanced at Josh. "Cover your ears, Josh."

The boy dutifully did so.

Olivia turned back to Elliot. "If you drop me, I will dropkick your ass into the next millennium. And you can count on blue balls for the rest of your foreseeable future." She glanced at Josh. "You can uncover your ears now."

Joshua uncovered his ears and glanced between Elliot and Olivia. "Are you gonna hang her upside down?"

Elliot smiled ruefully and swung her up again. Then he let her stand up, her body sliding against his.

"We really need to buy that house," Olivia whispered.

TBC


	24. Chapter 24

24

Olivia stood uncomfortably in George Huang's office. She'd been there before and he'd talked to her before, but this was different.

Now she was a patient.

Officially even. She'd had to fill out a patient card. It made her feel uneasy. For someone who so rarely asked for help and even more rarely let people know she needed it, this was a big step.

But she was doing this for Josh. And, in a funny way, she was doing it for Elliot too.

"You don't have to look so worried, Olivia. This won't hurt a bit."

She looked up as Huang walked into the room. "You'd be surprised."

He nodded. "Take a seat, Olivia."

She sat down on one of the chairs, fidgeting with her hands. "So, I'm here."

"I appreciate you coming." Huang sat down. "Although I know you didn't really have a choice."

"I want to keep Josh." She paused. "And Elliot…he was worried."

"How are things going with Elliot?"

Olivia looked at him quickly. "What?"

"I'll take that as a 'things are going fine'.

Olivia nodded. She continued to look around the room, trying to do anything but concentrate on why she was there.

"Where's Josh today?"

"Down in the squad room. I don't want to leave him yet with people he doesn't know."

Huang nodded. "Wise decision. He's not ready for that yet." He decided that somehow, he needed to know what was going on in Olivia's mind. "Does he have nightmares?"

"Sometimes."

"Did you have the same ones?"

The question had been fired so quickly that she hadn't expected it. "I…" Olivia took a breath. "I wasn't raped."

"Your mother was."

"We didn't discuss the particulars."

"I have no doubt that you knew."

"Even if I did, it's got nothing to do with Josh."

Huang somehow knew that this conversation was going to be like pulling teeth. "Did you have nightmares? After you found out?"

"About my mother?"

Huang nodded.

"Sometimes. They don't come as often now as they used to. Maybe I sleep less."

"Have you always wanted to find the man who hurt your mother?"

"I wanted to know if I had any threatening diseases and…." Olivia shrugged. "Mom used to tell me there wasn't any point. The statute of limitations had passed."

"But you wanted to find him anyhow."

"When I was younger it was more about finding out where I came from."

"And now?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Why?"

Olivia fidgeted. "I don't want to talk about him. He's not my father. Hell, I don't even know who he is!"

"That must have been difficult."

"I used to walk down the street and every man that walked past it would make me wonder…is that him?"

"Do you still do that?"

"There are millions of people in the world. I'm sick of trying to pick which one is him."

"What about your mother?"

"What about her?"

"She was an alcoholic?"

"You knew that already."

"How did you deal with that?"

Olivia shrugged. "I just did. I didn't have a choice."

"It must have been hurtful."

"Knowing that my mother drank because of the circumstances of my existence? Or just my existence?"

"How have things been going with Josh?"

"You're a good one for changing the subject."

Huang smiled. "I'm trying to make you a little more comfortable. Talking about Josh seems to make you comfortable."

"I told him that it was okay to go and see a psychiatrist. That he'd be going to see one just like me. It seemed to cheer him up so I thought I better go through with it."

"Is that the only reason you're here?"

Olivia sighed. "It seemed to mean a lot to Elliot. So I thought I should."

"Any part of you doing this for you?" Huang paused. "When was the last time you did something for you?"

"What do you mean?"

"The very point that you asked me what I meant is cause for concern."

"Because I have responsibilities?"

"Because you don't take any time for yourself."

"Of course I do."

Huang just stared at her.

* * *

When Olivia arrived back in the squad room, Fin and Munch were sitting at their desks. Josh sat in Fin's lap, and was holding some cards up, frowning at them in concentration.

"Your boy here is quite a poker prodigy," Munch muttered, as he noticed Olivia arrive. "Almost cleaned me out"

"You're teaching him poker?" Olivia's eyes widened.

"Livia!" Josh cried, racing over to her. "I got taught to fish"

"Go fish," Fin corrected. "We weren't teaching him poker"

"It is tempting though," Munch said, putting his cards down.

"I missed you," Josh told Olivia, hugging her tight.

"I missed you too," Olivia replied, picking him up. "But I'm glad you had fun here." She looked over at the two men. "Where's Elliot"

"Here," Elliot said, coming back into the room. "I was just copying some paperwork"

"Hi," Olivia said. "Uh…I wanted to thank you for watching Josh"

Munch and Fin watched the exchange between the two with a mixture of curiosity and amusement.

"You're welcome. Anytime"

"Okay, so I better go."

"Let me help you carry this stuff." Elliot picked up Josh's backpack. "I'll be back," he told Munch and Fin.

"Take your time," Munch replied.

* * *

"So, how did it go?" Elliot asked.

"It was weird," Olivia said. "Just... weird." She put Josh down and slung his backpack over her shoulder. "Will you be over tonight"

Elliot nodded. "Absolutely." He turned to Josh. "Shield your eyes for a minute, okay"

"Are you gonna kiss Livia again"

Olivia paused and looked at him. "Is that okay"

Josh nodded and put his hands over his eyes.

Elliot bent down and kissed Olivia gently. "I'll see you tonight. And I have a surprise for you"

"What is it?" Josh asked, taking his hands down.

"It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you, would it?" Elliot reminded him. He patted the top of the boy's head. "I promise you that you're both going to love it"

* * *


	25. Chapter 25

25

"Olivia"

She looked up at the little boy from her kneeling position in front of him. She did up his pajama buttons, which he'd managed to get askew. "Yeah"

"Why do I have to go see the doctor"

Olivia did up the last couple of buttons. "Well, because some people think it might help to talk to someone"

"I talk to you. And Elliot. And Fin and Munch"

"I know. But this is a completely unbiased person"

"What's that"

"It means that they aren't on anyone's side. They listen to everything"

"Why do you have to go"

Olivia paused. "Well…I thought that maybe we could both go and see people. That way, it might help us live together better"

"Okay," Josh said reluctantly.

Olivia took his hand. "Come on. Let's go and watch some TV while we wait for Elliot"

* * *

Josh and Olivia were curled up together on her couch. Josh's eyes were drooping and Olivia gently stroked her fingers along his back.

When she heard the knock at the door, she gently maneuvered Josh out of her lap. "I'll be right back," she promised him, heading for the door.

"Hi," she smiled, when the door opened to reveal Elliot.

"Hi," he said back, kissing her gently. "Sorry I'm so late"

"Bad case"

Elliot nodded. "Two dead babies"

"I should have been there to help"

Elliot cupped her face. "You're doing what you need to do at the moment, Liv. Taking time out for Josh and for you"

Olivia led him into the living room. "Hey, Josh, Elliot's here"

Josh looked up and grinned when he saw Elliot. Sleepily he put his arms out and Elliot went to the couch, sitting down and hugging the boy.

"Hi. Sorry I'm late"

The little boy hugged him tight. "Livia and I wait."

"I'm glad you did. It's nice to come home to the two of you."

"Surprise?" Josh asked eagerly.

Elliot grinned. "Yeah. I remember." He pulled out a piece of paper and placed it on the table. "I think I found the perfect house for us."

Olivia's eyes widened. "Really?"

"Take a look," Elliot said, gesturing to the paper.

"Five bedrooms…" Olivia looked up. "Five"

"I think the house suits us."

"And who is the fifth bedroom for?"

They locked eyes for a moment.

"Anyone. No one." Elliot smiled at her. "We can figure it out later."

Olivia smiled back. "Yeah, we can"

Josh looked at the house and then back at Olivia and Elliot. "Can we have a dog?"

"We'll see," Olivia told him, ruffling his hair.

* * *

"What was it like"

Olivia looked up sharply at Huang. "What was what like"

"When you saw Josh for the first time. What was it like"

"He was in a cupboard. Cowering with fear"

"How did that make you feel"

Olivia arched an eyebrow and just stared at him.

"Okay, think of it this way. Did it remind you of any previous times in your life"

"You want to know if I ever hid in cupboards"

"Did you"

Olivia said nothing for a moment. She finally took a deep breath and began to talk. "When I was little. Mom would come home, late at night. She'd been at work and then she'd go out and drink. I used to hide in the back of my bedroom closet. At least until I knew what kind of mood she was in"

"How long would you stay in there"

"Sometimes all night. It was safer to hide than have to deal with her"

"And when you were too big for the closet"

Olivia's eyes met his. "By then I was big enough to fight back"

"Things got violent?"

She looked down at her hands. "Once"

"What happened other times?"

"Sometimes she was too drunk to notice I was there. Often she was too drunk to fight with me." Olivia shifted in her seat. "Let's talk about something else. We always talk about my mother"

"Okay. Let's talk about Elliot"

Her head shot up and she stared at him. "Elliot? Why"

"You're in a relationship, aren't you?"

"I…okay, yeah."

"Then he's part of your life. We're here to talk about your life. How long have you been seeing him?"

Olivia was clearly uncomfortable with the topic, but she gritted her teeth and pressed on. "When things with Josh started to get complicated"

"How do you feel about this relationship"

Olivia narrowed her eyes. "What do you mean?"

Huang just looked at her.

"It's serious."

"Does anyone else know?"

She paused. "I don't think so. Munch and Fin suspect. The captain definitely doesn't know"

"What about Elliot's family?"

"I don't know"

"Elliot hasn't mentioned you to them"

"I don't know," Olivia said again. "If he has, that's his business"

"Do you see Josh, Elliot and yourself as a family?"

"What has that got to do with this session?"

"You didn't have much of a family growing up. That's starting to change now. I was wondering how you felt about that."

"I like him being around. I'm comfortable with him"

"That's good to hear. What has Josh's reaction been to your relationship?"

Olivia shifted in her seat. "We haven't really…Elliot and I have kissed in front of him and he hasn't been bothered by it"

"What about other aspects of the relationship?"

"We haven't…for a lot of reasons." She glanced at her watch. "Are we almost done?"

Huang glanced at her curiously. "Sure."

TBC


	26. Chapter 26

Elliot watched with interest as Olivia paced the living room floor.

"Is this because of your appointment with Huang or because of Josh's appointment with the shrink tomorrow?"

Olivia looked over at him. "Huh?"

"You're going to wear a hole in the carpet."

She looked down at the carpet and then sheepishly up at him. "Right."

"Talk to me, Liv."

"I feel…weird."

"Okay," Elliot said slowly. "Well, I can assure you that you look anything but."

"Things are changing so fast. I feel crazy because I'm not working. I feel even crazier because I'm seeing a shrink, who's asking me about family, and how I used to hide from my mother, and about whether you and I are having sex!"

Elliot blinked. "Huang asked whether we're having sex?"

"What? No. I just…I want so much and I can't have it."

He took her hands and urged her to sit next to him. "What is it you want, Olivia?"

"I can't explain it. I just…"

"Huang got to you today."

Her eyes darted up to meet his. "What?"

"He got to you."

"About what?"

"Family. Life. Something he said to you made you uncomfortable."

"It's the genetics thing again. He kept talking about my mother. I kept thinking about Josh. Have I done the right thing by keeping him with me?"

"How can you doubt that?" Elliot asked, leaning back on the couch and holding her in his arms. "Look at all the improvements in Josh since you've been taking care of him. He adores you, you adore him." His fingers brushed some hair from her face. "And you've changed, too."

"What are you talking about?"

"Not in a bad way," he quickly reassured her. "In a good way. You smile more. It moved us both closer to a relationship. I'm seeing a different side of you, Olivia, and I really like it."

A look of self-consciousness briefly flitted across her face. Olivia tried to hide it, already feeling embarrassed at the praise Elliot had lavished on her, but he was quick, and he caught it.

"You know I wouldn't say it unless I meant it," came the assurance.

Olivia nodded. "I know."

"That scares you, doesn't it?"

"Can we move the discussion to something else?"

"Such as?"

"I want to move."

"I know. So do I. And we will."

"Soon."

Elliot watched her carefully. "What's on your mind, Liv?"

"What do you mean?"

"I know you're looking forward to the new house – we both are – but ever since you started seeing Huang you've been pushing it a lot harder. What's been going on in your head?"

"Nothing," she assured him. A smile on her face, she shifted closer to him, her warm body snuggling into his. "I just think we should do it sooner rather than later."

"Is there something going on I need to know about?"

"I just think we should move sooner rather than later."

"Olivia…"

"The sooner we move the sooner things will be easier."

"Compared to what?"

"I don't want to lose my nerve."

"Why do you think you'd lose your nerve?" he asked her. "You still want to move, don't you?"

"Yes," she said hesitantly. "But after what Huang's been talking about…I'm just worried."

"We've all got faith in you, Liv. And I don't want you rushing into this just because you think you'll lose your nerve."

"Why did you get divorced?"

"There's a subject change." Elliot took a deep breath and leant back against the couch.

Olivia turned on her side and looked at him. "You never told me about what happened. One day you came into work and Kathy had left you. The next thing you told me was that you were divorced."

"I didn't want to talk about it."

She nodded. "Okay."

"But if you really want to know…"

Olivia hesitated a little before answering. "I do."

"We drifted apart. Too many things changed between us." He took her hands and kissed them. "I wasn't in love with her anymore."

"I don't want to think that…"

"Then don't. Because it wasn't anything to do with you."

"She didn't like me."

Elliot shrugged. "I think she was jealous. I spent more time with you than I did with her. I couldn't give her what she wanted."

"Which was?"

"Me."

She blinked and stared at him. "What?"

"Let's be honest, Liv. You've always known me much better than Kathy. I share things with you that I never shared with her. That I never wanted to share with her." He wrinkled his nose. "I'm sounding sentimental."

Olivia gripped his hand. "No. No, I understand. I kept things from people I was dating because I only felt comfortable sharing them with you."

Elliot smiled slightly. "We make quite the pair, don't we?"

"We're certainly not boring."

"Livia?"

The couple turned around to see Josh rubbing his tired eyes. Ruggles was right behind him.

"Hey, little man." Olivia's face softened the minute she saw him. "What are you doing up?"

"No sleep," Josh said. "Want Livvy."

She reached out her arms to him. "I'm here, sweetheart."

The little boy crawled up into her arms, nestling against her.

Elliot looked over at Olivia, his hand brushing some hair from her face. "We will work this all out, Olivia."

She hugged Josh close to her. "I know. I just…" She kissed the top of Josh's head. "It doesn't matter at the moment.

* * *

"Can I come in?"

Huang looked up to where Elliot stood in the doorway. "Of course."

Elliot walked in and sat on the chair opposite Huang.

"What can I do for you?"

"I want to know what you said to Liv."

"You know I can't tell you that."

Elliot sighed. "Last night, she came home and everything was…something was bothering her. I want to help her and I can't if you don't help me."

"To begin with, our sessions are confidential, as you well know. But tell me what happened. She was uncomfortable yesterday, and I want to know if she confided in you."

"She wanted to know about my divorce. And she wanted to move straight away before she lost her nerve."

"She's nervous about being part of a family. You know that."

"I can't help her if I don't understand."

"You know what it is that's bothering her." Huang leant forward. "It's family. That's what scares her. She's never really had one before and now she's playing a part that she never thought she'd play. A part that her only role model for was an alcoholic."

"So I need to teach her how to be a mother?"

"No. You need to help her be part of a family." Huang paused before continuing. "Have you told your family about your relationship with Olivia?"

"What?"

"Your children. The rest of your family. Have you told any of them that you're in a relationship? You do consider it a relationship, don't you?"

"Of course!" came the quick reply. "It's serious. And important. To both of us."

"But you haven't told anyone about it?"

"It's complicated."

"Life is complicated."

"The kids aren't ready for me to date. Hell, I think the younger ones still think I'm going to get back together with Kathy."

"Are you?"

"No." Elliot was definite on that point. "No."

"What Olivia and Josh need at this point is stability and to learn how to exist together," Huang told him. "She's let you in this far. Give her time and she'll start to adapt."

* * *

Josh watched as two little girls played with some blocks in a corner. One of them looked up and smiled at him. The little boy frowned and snuggled closer into Olivia's side.

Olivia looked down at him, her hand running through his hair. "Don't you want to go play with them, Josh? The blocks look fun."

"No!" came the definite answer.

"Okay. It's okay. We can just sit here."

"Home, Livia."

Olivia sighed. "We can't go home, Josh. You have to see the doctor." She lifted the little boy into her lap so that he could look into her eyes. "I know you don't want to do this, and I understand. But this is a condition of you being allowed to be with me." She kissed his forehead. "I've been doing it, and I promise it's not as bad as it sounds."

"Joshua Emerson?"

Olivia looked up at the female child psychiatrist. "That's your turn, Josh." She stood up and smiled as Joshua took a firm hold of her hand.

"I'm Dr Greenville." The woman smiled broadly at Josh. "And you must be Joshua."

Josh disappeared behind Olivia, still firmly gripping her hand.

"This is Josh," Olivia introduced.

"Josh, you can call me Sarah." Sarah gestured to the brightly decorated room behind her. "Why don't we go in for a chat?"

"Livia, too."

Olivia noted, with some concern, that Josh was back to his two word phrases.

"Maybe I should just sit in for a while," she suggested. "Until he's more comfortable."

Sarah nodded. "Of course, to begin with. The important thing is that Josh feels comfortable."

Olivia picked up Josh and carried him into the room. She sat down on one of the bean bags. Josh refused his own, instead proffering to share Olivia's. Sarah sat across from them.

"So, Josh, it tells me here that you're four years old. Is that right?"

Josh snuggled closer to Olivia. Sarah looked at the boy, and then looked around the room.

"Joshua, is there something in here, or about this place, that scares you?"

He said nothing, instead playing with the belt loop of Olivia's jeans.

"Josh?" Olivia prompted him. "There's nothing to be scared of, sweetheart. We're just here to help you."

Sarah decided to try a different tactic. "Tell me about where you live with Olivia, Josh. About your bedroom."

Joshua pointed to Olivia. "Liv's room."

"My apartment's small," Olivia explained. "We tried having him sleep on the pull-out sofa, but he wasn't happy. I bought him a kiddy bed and set it up at the bottom of my bed."

"Who's 'we'?" Sarah asked.

"My partner, Elliot Stabler."

"Where Elliot?" Josh asked Liv. "I want Elliot."

"He's at work, honey," Olivia reminded him. "We'll see him later."

Josh hugged Ruggles closer. Sarah watched the movement with interest.

"Josh, who is this you've brought with you?"

Olivia urged Joshua to speak up.

"Ruggles," he finally said.

"That's a nice name. Have you had Ruggles for a long time?"

Josh nodded.

"Did your Mommy give him to you?"

Again the little boy nodded.

Sarah watched how tight he was gripping onto Olivia. "Do you like living with Olivia, Josh?"

"Yeah."

"She takes care of you, right?"

He nodded.

"And what do you like to do with her?"

Josh looked up at Olivia, who smiled it. He finally answered, "Play trains. Cars. Read."

"Does Olivia read to you?"

Josh nodded.

Sarah smiled. "That's great." She looked curiously at the little boy. "What about your mom, Josh? Did your mom ever read to you?"

Joshua said nothing for a minute, before he finally replied, "Mommy gone."

Olivia's hand rested on Josh's shoulder, squeezing it in comfort.

"Yes, I know, Josh. I'm sorry," Sarah told him. "You must miss her a lot."

Josh nodded. He put his hand in Olivia's. "Have Livvy now."

"Yes, you do. That's great." Sarah looked at the closeness between the two. "Josh, tell me about your old room."

Josh shook his head. "No."

"It's okay to talk about it, Josh. You never have to go back there again."

"No!" came the more defiant cry.

Sarah looked up at Olivia. "Have you been back there with Josh since he came to you?"

"Once. We went to see if it would help him. It didn't. We found his mother instead."

Sarah nodded understandingly. Olivia wondered how this woman could possibly understand the horrors Josh had been through.

TBC


	27. Chapter 27

The minute she had arrived home with Josh, he had disappeared into her bedroom. Apparently Sarah had been going easy on him because it was his first time.

Olivia was starting to wonder if this whole shrink thing was a good idea. It was certainly making her a little more crazy than usual.

"Josh? You want something to eat? A snack or something?"

"No!"

That seemed to have been the only word that he was sharing with her that afternoon. No, he wasn't hungry. No, he didn't want to go to the park. No, he didn't want to ride in a cab. No, he didn't want to walk.

She didn't know how to fix it. Walking into her bedroom, Olivia saw Josh curled up on his bed, Ruggles tight in his arms.

"Josh."

There was no answer. Sighing, she sat down on the floor next to his bed and slowly strokes her fingers through his hair. "Josh, I'm sorry. I know that was hard today, but you did such a good job."

"Don't want to go again."

Olivia closed her eyes. "Josh…I know it's hard. It's hard for me too. But it's important that we do this. So that you can stay with me."

A knock came at the door and Olivia stood up. "I'll be right back."

When she opened the door, she smiled at Elliot. "Hey."

"Hey." He closed the door behind him and cupped her face.

Olivia moaned as his lips pressed to hers, initiating a long, deep kiss. Her arms slid up his back to his shoulders, pulling him closer to her.

Even as the kiss broke, she still held him close to her. "That really was a hello."

"You look like you had a rough day." He kissed her forehead. "I thought you might have."

Olivia rested her head against him. "You have no idea."

His arms went around her, hugging her body close to his. She sighed contently, letting the warmth of his body seep into hers.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be there with you," Elliot murmured.

"It's okay," she assured him. "It's just nice that you're here now."

Elliot gently kissed her again. "Where is he?"

"He's lying down on his bed."

They both went into Olivia's bedroom, and Elliot knelt down next to Josh.

"Hey."

"Hi, Elliot."

"You had a bad day too, huh?"

Josh's big brown eyes looked up at him. "You, too?"

Elliot held out his arms to him. "Yeah, me, too." He waited while Josh made tentative movements towards him. "You know, Olivia feels really bad too. Why don't we all get something to eat, huh? And maybe watch a movie? You can pick."

The little boy made his way into Elliot's arms, and nodded slightly. "Hungry."

Olivia watched in amazement as Elliot and Josh made their way out into the kitchen. She followed, a little way behind.

Elliot sat Josh on a kitchen stool and caught the look in Olivia's eye. "Hey, Josh, you sit here and start thinking about what you want for dinner, okay? Olivia and I will be right back."

She allowed herself to be led into the living room. "I…I've been trying to do that all afternoon. You walk in and…what am I doing wrong? Why am I so screwed up that I can't do this?"

"Olivia…" He put his hands on her shoulders. "You are NOT screwed up. And as for me being able to talk to him – Olivia, I've got four kids. These things are bound to happen." He smiled at her. "And when it does, I'll be around to help."

"You better be," Olivia told him. "Or I'll come after you."

"That reminds me, I picked up something today."

She narrowed her eyes. "What?"

Elliot handed her a folder. "This."

Olivia opened the folder and her eyes widened. "This is…"

"All we have to do is sign it, and we get a mortgage. We have to sign other things at the bank tomorrow, but I thought at least we could start working on it."

"The house?"

Elliot grinned. "It's still there. I checked."

"So when we get a mortgage…"

"It's ours."

Olivia took a deep breath. "Wow."

"Everything okay? Still all in?"

"Yeah. But Elliot…"

"What?"

"I want you to tell your family about us. Your kids." Olivia shrugged. "Josh might like to know them. And they're going to find out sometime."

"Is this about that talk you had with Huang?"

"It's got nothing to do with him." She sighed. "If this is going to be permanent - if you and I are permanent - I want them to know."

"Well they're bound to find out."

"I don't want them to find out. I want you to tell them."

"Why are you so determined about this?"

"Ell, I've been your partner for a long time. Your kids have known me for years. I don't want them to think that I was a cause of any of it, or that I helped you make your decision."

"They're not stupid, Liv. They know that Kathy and I had problems."

"I know they're not stupid. I just don't want to have them just find out about Josh, and about you and me. It's not fair to them."

Elliot rubbed his hand across his face. "Fine, I'll tell them. I do think you're overreacting though."

Olivia took a deep breath and pushed her anger down inside her. "Fine."

"Livia?"

She turned around, smiling as she saw Josh standing behind her. "Hi, honey."

"Hungry."

Olivia found relief streaming through her that he was talking to her again. In single words, definitely, but at least he was talking.

"I'll bet you are." She lifted him into her arms. "What are you in the mood for, huh? Anything you want."

His little arms tightened around her neck and he buried his face in her shoulder. "Stay."

She kissed the top of his head. "I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

"Would you like burgers, Josh?" Elliot suggested. "Or pizza? Or Chinese? Or I could whip something up in the kitchen."

"Pizza," came the small whisper in Olivia's ear.

She smiled. "Pizza it is then."

Elliot put a hand on her shoulder. "Let me organize it. You two go and sit down in the living room." He pressed a kiss to Olivia's cheek. "I'll fix everything."

Olivia slowly realized that he was talking about more than dinner. She reached out to squeeze his hand. "I know."

* * *

After putting Josh to bed, Olivia walked back to the kitchen where she found Elliot cleaning up.

"We're getting a bit of a routine here."

He smiled at her. "I like it."

Olivia nodded. "Me, too." She walked over to stand behind him, and she rested her chin on his shoulder. "I'm sorry I was so stubborn earlier. It just worries me that something's going to go wrong."

Elliot turned around and held her body flush with his. "You have to have faith, Olivia. In us, in the kids. You don't need to expect the worst, all the time."

"I know," she agreed. "It's just a hard habit to get out of."

His hands caressed the soft skin at the side of her hips, and he smiled at her. "It's okay, Liv. We'll work this out. You, me, Josh and the kids – we'll work it out."

* * *


	28. Chapter 28

28?

Josh's head rested on Olivia's shoulder as she sat down in front of the loans officer at the bank. Elliot sat beside her and handed the application to the officer.

"Nice to finally meet you, Detective Benson," the officer smiled, holding out her hand. "Jessica Avery."

"Nice to meet you, too," Olivia replied. She gestured to the little boy who was lying limply against her body. "This is Josh."

"Hi, Josh," Jessica said. "Elliot's told me all about you."

The little boy didn't move.

Elliot had obviously said something to Jessica, because thankfully the woman didn't press any further and the trio began working on the loan.

* * *

Once everything was signed and sealed, Olivia and Elliot made their way outside the bank. Josh was getting a little heavy for Olivia, so Elliot took him and carried him towards the car.

"We have a loan. And a mortgage," Olivia mumbled as she strapped Josh in.

"That's a good thing, Liv," Elliot reminded her.

She looked up at him and nodded. "I know that."

He grinned. "You nervous?"

"Terrified. I'm not sure that staring down a gun barrel is any more terrifying than this."

"I've got something even more terrifying. I'm seeing my kids tonight."

Olivia lifted an eyebrow. "I'm sure they'd love to know you think they're terrifying." She got into the car.

Elliot smirked as he joined her. "I'm going to tell them about you and Josh."

She looked over at him. "How do you think they'll take it?"

"They're good kids," Elliot said simply.

Olivia just stared at him.

"Okay, so they may be a little uncomfortable with it at first, but it's something they'll have to get used to." He reached over and squeezed her hand. "You and Josh are a part of my life now. We're buying a house together. And I love you. More than anything."

Olivia looked over and smiled at him. "I love you, too."

* * *

She woke the next morning with a little pit of nerves in her stomach – and Josh's small body curled up next to her.

Running her fingers through his silky brown hair, she smiled at the memory of trying to get him to allow her to wash it.

"Livvy."

"Morning," she murmured. "What brings you to this side of the room?"

He looked up at her. "Ruggles and I had a bad dream."

"That's no good," Olivia told him. "What happened?"

Josh sighed. "You went away."

Olivia closed her eyes for a moment, before putting her arms around the young boy. "It's okay, Josh. I'm never leaving you." She cupped his little face, urging him to look her in the eye. "You and me – we're stuck with each other now."

"Promise?"

She nodded. "I promise."

Josh snuggled closer. "Love you, Livvy."

Olivia smiled broadly, hugging him tight. "I love you too, Josh." She kissed the top of his head. "What do you say we go make some breakfast?"

He nodded, almost springing out of bed with Ruggles. His hand tugged on Olivia's until she began to follow him, and they went into the kitchen.

"Okay, what would you like for breakfast today?" she asked him.

Josh climbed up onto the breakfast stool, sitting Ruggles on the stool beside him. The boy appeared deep in thought as he contemplated breakfast foods. Olivia leant over the counter, smiling at him.

"You know, if you don't pick something, I might have to pick something disgusting, like cabbage."

"You can't have cabbage for breakfast!"

"Sure you can! I could make cabbage pancakes."

Josh wrinkled his nose. "You're gross."

Olivia grinned and ruffled his hair. "And you're cute."

A faint blush appeared on the little boy's face. "Can we have pancakes? Without the cabbage?"

She chuckled. "You bet we can. Want to help make them?"

Josh nodded and hopped off the stool. Olivia pushed it around to the other side of the counter, helping him up so that he was at the right height to help. She got out the things for the pancakes, and set them on the bench.

He took great delight in helping her flip the pancakes, and finally put them onto the plates. After Olivia handed him the things, he set the table and sat on his chair. Josh was a bit short for the chair, so she put a phone book underneath him, and he sat at the right height.

Josh's eyes lit up with glee as Olivia placed the pancakes in front of him. "Yummy!"

"I'll say," she replied, sitting opposite him. "You make a good pancake, Josh."

He grinned and began to dig in. Olivia studied him for a while, still finding it amazing the changes that had occurred in him since they first met. She was more than aware of the fact that they had a very long way to go until he would be okay, but she appreciated the small things.

And although she'd never admit it, this time off she had been spending with him had been good for both of them.

When everything had been cleaned up and Josh dressed, Olivia was about to head for the shower when the doorbell rang. She groaned and headed past Josh, who was watching TV in the living room.

Olivia smiled broadly as she opened the door to Elliot – and Dickie. "Hi," she murmured.

"Hi, Liv," Elliot said. He gazed over her sweats and tank top. "Nice look for you."

She rolled her eyes. "You're hilarious. Hi, Dickie."

The boy smiled good-naturedly and raised his hand in greeting. "Hi."

"I told the kids last night about Josh – and you," Elliot told her. "I thought that maybe springing them all on him at once might be a bit mean, so I brought Dickie along."

"That's great," Olivia said. She moved aside to let them in. "He's in the living room."

The two followed Olivia into the other room. Josh's eyes lit up when he saw Elliot, and then became fearful when they zeroed in on Dickie. Olivia sat beside Josh, giving him some support.

"Josh, this is Dickie. He's Elliot's little boy." She smiled. "Just like you're mine."

"Hi, Josh," Dickie grinned, sitting down on the chair opposite. "Dad said you like soccer. He's taking me to the park today and we thought you and Olivia could come too."

Josh was quiet for a while, studying Dickie with his big brown eyes. He looked at Elliot, then back at Dickie, noting the resemblance. Then he looked up at Olivia. "You too?"

Olivia nodded. "Of course, honey. You and me, Elliot and Dickie. We could even challenge them to a soccer game. What do you think?"

Joshua went back to studying the other boy, as if scanning him for the slightest threat. Finally, he turned around to Olivia. "Okay."

* * *

Olivia was waiting for a chance to talk to Elliot alone, but when they arrived at the park, she was quickly drafted into a soccer game. Josh wanted to stay close to her, so she and Josh decided to team up against Elliot and Dickie.

She was happy at the way that Josh slowly seemed to ease towards Dickie. Part of her wondered if it was the way the older boy was being easy and friendly, or whether it was because Josh saw Dickie as a miniature Elliot.

As the two boys became more involved in the game, Olivia and Elliot moved to the side for a short talk. Elliot's hand quickly found its way around her waist, tugging her body in close to his so that he could kiss her tenderly on the lips.

"I missed you," he murmured.

"Missed you, too," she whispered back. "Thank you for bringing Dickie with you."

Elliot smiled. "I thought Josh should get to know some other boys. I want him to know that everyone's not a monster."

"Me, too," Olivia replied. "How did last night go with the kids?"

"Good. I told them about you and I told them about Josh."

"And?"

Elliot sighed. "I thought they would have trouble with it. They're very attached to their mother, and I was worried that they wouldn't accept the idea of you and me. But they were okay with it. And when I told them about Josh, they just wanted to help."

She smiled at him. "You've got great kids."

"You've got a great kid, too."

Olivia leant up and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "Thank you for telling them."

"I should have told them earlier. I guess I just didn't want anything to intrude on us yet."

Her hand rested against his chest. "Nothing's intruding, El."

"Things will, though, you know that."

"I know. But for now, let's just take things as they come."

Elliot's hands rested on her hips. "Like buying a house? Moving in together?"

Olivia nodded. "Yeah, things like that."

"Sounds good to me." His lips pressed hard against hers and she sighed in pleasure as the kiss turned long and slow.

"Dad? Olivia?" Dickie's voice penetrated through their brains as he and Joshua made their way over to them. "Can Josh come over? I want to show him my stuff. And we're hungry."

The couple reluctantly broke apart, and Olivia crouched down to look at Josh. "Hungry, little guy? And you want to go over to Dickie's?"

"Little Elliot."

Dickie grinned. "He's started calling me that. It's kind of cute."

"How about we go and get something to eat, and then we can talk about what we're going to do," Elliot suggested.

As they made their way across the park, Olivia leaned into Elliot. "You looked a little hesitant at Josh going to Dickie's."

Elliot sighed, putting his arm around her. "At the moment, Dickie's house equals Kathy's house. And since Josh won't go anywhere without you…" He shrugged. "I just don't know how it would end, and I don't want Josh to be upset."

Olivia nodded. "I get that. Maybe, until we move into the house, Dickie can bring some things over to my apartment to show Josh."

He smirked. "Maybe we could have a sleepover."

She lifted an eyebrow. "Oh, you mean like you and me?"

"And the boys."

Olivia laughed. "All four of us together in my bedroom? Real romantic, Stabler."

He grinned. "That's me, Mr. Romantic."

Olivia rested her head against his shoulder. "I could get used to this."

"You'd still need to beat the shit out of suspects."

"I thought that was more your domain."

"Right. You'd shoot them."

"Gee we're fantastic role models."

"Don't you forget it."

TBC


	29. Chapter 29

29?

George Huang sat across from Olivia, studying her curiously. He was interested by a slight change in her demeanor – as if her world was starting to settle down.

"You go back to work next week. Are you looking forward to it?"

"In a way." Olivia shifted in her seat. "I like my job. I like being able to help the people that really need it."

"I sense a 'but' there."

"What's Josh going to do? I can't be with him when I'm at work, and I'm worried what's going to happen to him if he stays at the squad room." She looked distressed. "I can't take him to childcare – he couldn't deal with it."

"I agree. Josh isn't ready for childcare yet. Why are you worried about him being at the squad room?"

"Some of the people that go through there – they're the scum of the universe. He's been through so much, and he's come so far – it would only take one person, one look or one word. He could go backwards so quickly."

"Olivia, you're playing what ifs. He's been at the squad room before and hasn't had a problem. He gets on well with the rest of the team. You're doing just fine."

Olivia nodded. "Okay."

She still looked a little unsure, but George didn't want to press her about it. He thought there might be something else on her chest that he wanted to hear about.

"Tell me about your weekend. What did you do?"

"Elliot and I got a mortgage."

"Congratulations."

Olivia narrowed her eyes. "Stop smirking."

"Sorry," George replied, smiling softly. "How do you feel about that?"

"Not as bad as I thought I would," Olivia replied. "I feel…relaxed about it."

"I'm glad to hear it."

"Elliot brought Dickie over to play with Josh."

George's ears pricked up. "Really? That's wonderful. How did it go?"

Olivia smiled softly. "Really well. Josh has started calling Dickie 'little Elliot'. He was a little shy at first, but with Elliot and I there, plus Dickie being Elliot's son, he soon eased into it."

"That's an excellent first step, Olivia. And a very important one." He looked at her intently. "I'm sure you were pleased to hear that Elliot told his family."

She nodded. "It made me feel…validated in a strange sort of way."

"Not surprising. Your relationship with Elliot is one where secrecy is important because of your jobs. To have him tell his family was a way of affirming that relationship in one area, while in other areas it may take a while."

"I suppose telling his family was a bit like us buying the house together."

George nodded. "Absolutely. You've both made a commitment to the relationship. A commitment that looks ahead into the future, and not just day-to-day."

"It's good," Olivia agreed.

"Has Josh talked to you much about his family?"

Olivia looked at George strangely. "Considering his father molested him, I wouldn't imagine him to."

"What about his mother?"

"She died when he was two."

"But Josh still spent a lot of time with her after that. It's important he has someone to talk to about his family – particularly as he's becoming part of a new one."

"I'm not going to traumatize him all over again by making him talk about his dead mother!"

"Olivia, the knowledge of family that you and Joshua have is very similar, but very different to what most other people have. Both of you are entering into a situation that is almost like foreign territory. You've got Elliot to help you, but you and Josh need to share your experiences so you can make this new one work." George stared at her. "Trust me."

--

Joshua swung his legs underneath the chair as he listened to Sarah talk.

"What did you do this week, Josh?" she asked.

He said nothing.

"Josh, it's important that we talk to each other."

"Livvy not here."

"I thought that you and I should get to know each other a bit better."

"Want Livvy."

"I know you do, Josh. But it's important for you and me to have this time together."

"Why? Want Livvy."

"She's just outside, Josh. But we need to talk together." Sarah leaned towards him. "Why don't you tell me about what some of your favorite things to do are? Maybe things you do with Olivia, or something else?"

Josh shrugged. "Read. Cars. See Livvy now?"

"Not yet," Sarah replied. "Why don't you tell me about the things you read?"

Josh shrugged again. "Books."

--

Olivia looked up as Josh came running out of the doctor's room. She picked him up easily in her arms, surprised when he hugged her so tight she could barely breathe. Her eyes looked over the top of his head at Sarah's, and she sighed at the look in the woman's eyes.

"Hey, Josh," Olivia murmured, leaning back so she could look him in the eye. "Can you stay here for me while I go in and talk to Sarah for a minute?"

Josh looked a little uncertain about the idea, but finally relinquished his hold on her. Olivia whispered her promise to be back soon in his ear and followed Sarah into the room.

"I take it by your look that he's not doing too well," Olivia said.

"He doesn't like being in the room without you. And he's reverting to one word sentences."

"I'll talk to him," Olivia assured her. "He met Elliot's son and they seemed to do well together. But I'll talk to him."

Sarah nodded. "Okay."

--

As they left the doctor's office, Olivia turned to Josh. "How about we go and get a milkshake? Just you and me?"

Josh nodded, encasing his small hand in hers. She smiled, squeezing it and they made their way to the local café. Once their orders had been delivered (vanilla milkshake for Olivia and chocolate for Josh), the detective decided to broach some subjects with him.

"Josh, you know I talked with Sarah today, right?"

He nodded and took a slurp of his drink.

"She said that you didn't seem to want to talk to her."

"No Livvy," came the explanation.

Olivia's hand reached across the table, cupping his cheek with her hand. "I know it's hard, Josh. It's hard for me to talk to Dr. Huang too. But it's really important." She sighed. "And as much as I want to, I can't be with you all the time."

"Will you go away?"

"No," Olivia promised him. "I'm not going to leave you. I'll always be here for you, Josh." She pointed to his heart. "And I'll definitely always be there. But sometimes, I can't be right with you physically. Remember how sometimes Elliot and I had to go out and leave you at the station."

He nodded.

"Well, it's like that. But I always came back, didn't I?"

Josh nodded again.

"So, if I promise never to leave you, will you try to make friends with Sarah? Like you do with Munch and Fin?"

"Okay."

"You know something, Josh?" Olivia said to him. "I'm really proud of you."

The boy looked up at her, a surprised look on his face.

"I know how hard it is for you to be doing a lot of what you're doing, and how hard everything was for you. But I'm really proud of you and I'm honored to be able to be your foster mom."

A broad smile came over the little boy's face and he made his way over to Olivia, giving her a huge hug. "Love you, Livvy."

She grinned down at him as her arms tightened around his small frame. "I love you too, Josh." 


	30. Chapter 30

29?

George Huang sat across from Olivia, studying her curiously. He was interested by a slight change in her demeanor – as if her world was starting to settle down.

"You go back to work next week. Are you looking forward to it?"

"In a way." Olivia shifted in her seat. "I like my job. I like being able to help the people that really need it."

"I sense a 'but' there."

"What's Josh going to do? I can't be with him when I'm at work, and I'm worried what's going to happen to him if he stays at the squad room." She looked distressed. "I can't take him to childcare – he couldn't deal with it."

"I agree. Josh isn't ready for childcare yet. Why are you worried about him being at the squad room?"

"Some of the people that go through there – they're the scum of the universe. He's been through so much, and he's come so far – it would only take one person, one look or one word. He could go backwards so quickly."

"Olivia, you're playing what ifs. He's been at the squad room before and hasn't had a problem. He gets on well with the rest of the team. You're doing just fine."

Olivia nodded. "Okay."

She still looked a little unsure, but George didn't want to press her about it. He thought there might be something else on her chest that he wanted to hear about.

"Tell me about your weekend. What did you do?"

"Elliot and I got a mortgage."

"Congratulations."

Olivia narrowed her eyes. "Stop smirking."

"Sorry," George replied, smiling softly. "How do you feel about that?"

"Not as bad as I thought I would," Olivia replied. "I feel…relaxed about it."

"I'm glad to hear it."

"Elliot brought Dickie over to play with Josh."

George's ears pricked up. "Really? That's wonderful. How did it go?"

Olivia smiled softly. "Really well. Josh has started calling Dickie 'little Elliot'. He was a little shy at first, but with Elliot and I there, plus Dickie being Elliot's son, he soon eased into it."

"That's an excellent first step, Olivia. And a very important one." He looked at her intently. "I'm sure you were pleased to hear that Elliot told his family."

She nodded. "It made me feel…validated in a strange sort of way."

"Not surprising. Your relationship with Elliot is one where secrecy is important because of your jobs. To have him tell his family was a way of affirming that relationship in one area, while in other areas it may take a while."

"I suppose telling his family was a bit like us buying the house together."

George nodded. "Absolutely. You've both made a commitment to the relationship. A commitment that looks ahead into the future, and not just day-to-day."

"It's good," Olivia agreed.

"Has Josh talked to you much about his family?"

Olivia looked at George strangely. "Considering his father molested him, I wouldn't imagine him to."

"What about his mother?"

"She died when he was two."

"But Josh still spent a lot of time with her after that. It's important he has someone to talk to about his family – particularly as he's becoming part of a new one."

"I'm not going to traumatize him all over again by making him talk about his dead mother!"

"Olivia, the knowledge of family that you and Joshua have is very similar, but very different to what most other people have. Both of you are entering into a situation that is almost like foreign territory. You've got Elliot to help you, but you and Josh need to share your experiences so you can make this new one work." George stared at her. "Trust me."

--

Joshua swung his legs underneath the chair as he listened to Sarah talk.

"What did you do this week, Josh?" she asked.

He said nothing.

"Josh, it's important that we talk to each other."

"Livvy not here."

"I thought that you and I should get to know each other a bit better."

"Want Livvy."

"I know you do, Josh. But it's important for you and me to have this time together."

"Why? Want Livvy."

"She's just outside, Josh. But we need to talk together." Sarah leaned towards him. "Why don't you tell me about what some of your favorite things to do are? Maybe things you do with Olivia, or something else?"

Josh shrugged. "Read. Cars. See Livvy now?"

"Not yet," Sarah replied. "Why don't you tell me about the things you read?"

Josh shrugged again. "Books."

--

Olivia looked up as Josh came running out of the doctor's room. She picked him up easily in her arms, surprised when he hugged her so tight she could barely breathe. Her eyes looked over the top of his head at Sarah's, and she sighed at the look in the woman's eyes.

"Hey, Josh," Olivia murmured, leaning back so she could look him in the eye. "Can you stay here for me while I go in and talk to Sarah for a minute?"

Josh looked a little uncertain about the idea, but finally relinquished his hold on her. Olivia whispered her promise to be back soon in his ear and followed Sarah into the room.

"I take it by your look that he's not doing too well," Olivia said.

30?

Three days later, Elliot and Olivia started packing up her apartment. Josh watched the procedure curiously, a little concerned until Olivia told him that they were all going to the new house.

"All of us?"

"All of us," she assured him.

Josh seemed relieved by this, even going so far as to start handing Olivia things to pack.

"You'll get to have your own room."

"What about Elliot?"

"I'm going to share Olivia's room," Elliot replied. "Is that okay?"

Josh seemed to ponder the idea for a moment, and he continued helping them pack as he thought over the idea. Olivia and Elliot sent worried glances to each other as they waited patiently for the little boy's reply.

Finally he turned to the couple. "Okay."

Relieved, the couple continued their packing, Josh handing them things intermittently.

--

Later that evening, after Josh had gone to bed, Olivia went to see Elliot out of the apartment.

"Very soon, we won't be doing this anymore," Elliot murmured, fingering the hem of her shirt.

She smiled softly at him. "I look forward to it."

"Nervous?"

Olivia lifted an eyebrow at him.

"Just checking." His warm hand cupped her cheek. "You're not going to back out on me, are you, Liv?"

"No," she replied firmly. "Not at all." Her fingers trailed down his arms. "So…want to do this tomorrow night?"

Elliot grinned. "That soon, huh?"

"Why, you feel you're not up to the task, Stabler?"

"Oh, I'm up to it," he assured her.

"Then tomorrow night can be our first night in the new house." Olivia moved closer. "I want to be settled before I go back to work. At least Josh can have one constant in his life then."

"He has two constants in his life," Elliot reminded her. "You and me."

"It's not the same as having a home he feels safe in," Olivia replied. "Believe me, I know."

Her partner nodded. "Okay. Tomorrow it is then." He cracked a smile. "Want to kiss on it?"

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Very original."

Elliot chuckled and put his arm around her waist, tugging her body flush against his. Her fingers ran up his chest before finally encircling his neck and urging him closer. Their lips joined in a tender kiss that quickly deepened as they let their desire for each other go.

Olivia felt her back pressing against the wall as Elliot tightened his grip on her. She moaned into the kiss and her hands slid up his back, holding him close to her body. Olivia wanted more of his kiss, more of him, and she let him know with a whisper as his lips caressed her neck.

"We can't," he whispered back, his head resting on her shoulder. "As much as I really want to continue this, I'm worried about Josh's reaction if we were caught."

His partner was breathing heavily as she nodded, her hands still clasped against his back. "You're right. Damn you."

Elliot chuckled and lifted his head up, pressing a gentle kiss to her lips. "Tomorrow, Liv."

She watched him go with a smile on her face. "Tomorrow."

--

The next day, Elliot had brought Dickie with him to help with the moving. Josh was delighted to see "Little Elliot" again, Consequently, Olivia and Elliot did most of the moving while the two boys amused themselves by exploring the new home.

"Tell me again why I brought Dickie with me?" Elliot muttered, putting a box down in the hallway.

Olivia grinned. "I'm just glad Josh is getting on so well with someone."

"Me too," Elliot smiled at her. "I was thinking, maybe sometime soon, we could introduce him to the girls."

Olivia nodded. "That sounds like a good idea. I want him to get used to living in this house first though. One big thing in his life at a time."

"Good idea," Elliot replied.

She put another box down. "Do you think I can handle this?"

He looked at her sharply. "Handle what?"

"Motherhood. A house. A relationship." She sighed. "Sometimes I wonder whether I'm cut out for any of this. And more often I wonder why you can't take classes in this sort of thing."

"If it were that easy, everyone would be doing it."

Olivia narrowed her eyes at him. "Everyone IS doing it. Even people who shouldn't be doing it are, and that scares me even more."

Elliot crouched down on the floor beside her. "Why?"

"Because maybe I'm one of them. Because I don't want to screw him up anymore than he already has been by his father."

Elliot smiled at her, caressing her cheek softly with his hand. "You and Josh are so much alike, Liv. He trusts you, more than anything. He's got good instincts – he went straight for you." He sat down fully, bringing her body closer to his. "He picked you. He picked the right person."

Olivia leant back against him, closing her eyes for a moment. "You really believe that, don't you?"

"Yeah, I do. And Josh believes it. So now we just have to work on you believing it."

"It might take me a while."

Elliot's arms tightened around her waist. "We got time."

--

Holding onto Josh's hand, Olivia walked into his new bedroom. Brightly painted in yellow with blue trim, his toddler bed sat proudly in the middle. A nightlight was next to the bed and a chest of drawers stood on one side of the room. There was a cupboard next to it and a pair of curtains at the window. The toys and books that Olivia was slowly collecting for him stood on the other side of the room.

She looked nervously at Josh. "So…what do you think?"

"It's mine?" Josh said slowly.

"Yes, sweetheart. It's yours. Everything in this room is yours."

Josh let go of her hand and moved towards the toy chest. His hands ran over the familiar items in it and he continued looking around the room, alternately touching and studying the new and old items. He saw his car racing mat that Fin had given him resting on the floor, some cars next to it. Josh sat down and looked up at Olivia. "I like it." He held up a car. "Play?"

Olivia felt relief flood through her. "Yeah, I'll play with you."

--

An hour later, Elliot made his way up to Josh's bedroom. He had been slowly unpacking things, allowing Olivia her time with Josh as the young boy got used to the new house. Peeking around the corner, he smiled as he saw Olivia and Josh playing cars on the floor. He was going to sneak away and give them some time alone, but Josh caught sight of him.

"Elliot!"

Olivia's head turned around and she smiled at him. "Hey, Elliot. Want to come in and play cars with us?"

"That'd be great. Is that okay, Josh?"

The little boy nodded and Elliot entered the room, sitting beside Olivia on the floor. Josh continued to play with his cars, and Olivia's hand snuck over, resting on Elliot's knee. He looked at her with a smile, before picking up her hand and pressing a kiss to it. Her eyes closed for a minute, and it wasn't until Josh nudged her other hand that she opened them again.

"Livvy? I'm hungry."

--

Olivia was surprised at how easy it was to get into a domestic routine in her new kitchen. Some of the utensils still needed unpacking, so she was happy to make do with a pizza delivery. She sat with Josh and Elliot in their new living room, enjoying their first meal in the new home.

"What do you think of the new house, Josh?" Elliot asked, in between bites of pizza.

"Ours."

"That's right," Olivia assured him. "It's all ours."

Josh looked around the room, surveying the way Elliot and Olivia had worked on it. "Okay," he finally nodded, before biting into another piece of his pizza.

Olivia and Elliot glanced at each other over the top of Josh's head and grinned.

--

"I sat with him until he fell asleep."

Elliot looked up at Olivia, who was resting against the doorjamb. "I'm glad he's okay."

"He likes his new room."

Elliot hung up the dishcloth. "Kitchen is all clean again."

"You did a great job."

"There wasn't much to do." Elliot made his way over to her. "He didn't protest much about going to bed."

"I think we wore him out," Olivia replied. "It was a big day for him."

"Big day for everyone."

Awkwardness filled the room as the couple stared at each other, both trying to think of something to say.

"I finished organizing the bedroom," Elliot finally said, breaking the silence.

A smile lit up Olivia's face. "How about you show me what you did?"

He nodded and took her hand as they proceeded upstairs.

--


	31. Chapter 31

Thanks for everyone who has supported this fic. I've decided to end it here, because it was a good place to end it, and I would like to write some other stories. That does not mean however, that I won't be writing more for Elliot, Olivia and Josh sometime in the future.

You may also notice that another site has 32 chapters. That's because there is one chapter that has a rating higher than allows. Apart from that one section, you have received the entire fic. Thanks for supporting it and I hope you enjoyed it :)

31/31

Josh got out of his bed, feeling very small in the big room. He put on his slippers and pajamas that Olivia had bought him, and then picked up Ruggles. He opened the door to his room and made his way down the hallway to Olivia's room, where he tentatively knocked on the door.

His courage was bolstered when he heard Olivia's voice, urging him to come in. He opened the door and saw her sitting up in bed, Elliot sitting next to her.

"Morning, handsome," Olivia grinned at him. "How'd you sleep?"

"My room's big."

Elliot looked at him. "Too big and scary?"

"As long as you check for monsters, it's okay."

Olivia smiled at him. "Come on up here, Josh. There's plenty of room if you want."

He hesitated for a moment, working through the idea in his mind. Finally deciding it was safe, he made his way over to the bed and, with Olivia's help, climbed up.

"You didn't leave," he murmured when he was finally snuggled up to Olivia.

She frowned and ran her fingers through his hair. "Of course I didn't. Why did you think I would?"

"Mommy left."

Olivia's hands framed his tiny face, making sure that his dark brown eyes stared into her own earnest ones. "Listen to me, Josh. Your Mommy didn't leave by choice. She wanted to stay with you. And as for me, well," she smiled at him, "I'm always going to be here for you. I promise."

"Forever and ever?"

Olivia smiled at him. "Forever and ever."

Josh nodded. "Okay."

"Olivia?"

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"What's pre-school?"

Olivia looked over at Elliot, who shrugged and gestured for her to go ahead and explain.

"It's where kids can go and play with other kids."

"When do I have to go?"

"Not for a while yet," Olivia assured him. "When you're ready."

He nodded. "Okay. I'm hungry."

"How about you go downstairs and wash up? Olivia and I will be down in a minute."

Josh nodded and slid off the bed, taking Ruggles with him. When they were alone in the room, Elliot turned to Olivia, lifting an eyebrow. She squirmed under his gaze.

"What?"

He just stared at her.

"I'm not going to keep him bundled up in here forever. It's not good for him."

"I knew you knew that."

"You're an ass."

"I knew you knew that, too."

She smirked. "I still love you, though. Even if you are an ass."

He grinned, kissing her tenderly. "I love you, too, even if you are stubborn and irrational sometimes."

Olivia chuckled as she got out of bed. "Don't forget I can still kick your ass, Stabler."

Elliot watched avidly as she slipped on a robe. "Oh, I look forward to it."

--

FINIS


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